Some people new to recovery believe that newly formed romantic relationships are meant to light up our lives like a starry starry night. In hospitals, detoxes or treatment centers we might find ourselves entering into relationships with someone we believe has the potential to be our significant other. Those of us who are prone to sex and love addiction understand the reality of this. We are not saying that relationships in early recovery don’t always work out because very often they can. We need to understand the reality of love. It isn’t always new, refreshing, butterflies and fireworks. The butterflies migrate to better climates and a heavy dose of rain can delay the fireworks from time to time. The bills have to be paid and we all have to understand the reality of give and take. Often we are advised not to enter into a new relationship until we have a year of recovery. In 12 step rooms we hear of the 13th step. The 13th step is when someone who has been in recovery for a while enters into a relationship with someone new to the program. People new to recovery who enter into relationships early in recovery often face the possibility of relapse should such relationships not work out. The same goes for 13th step relationships. Both of these types of relationships can be harmful. We need to at least understand this possibility. It isn’t always starry starry nights. It isn’t always old fashion love songs. Love exist founded in reality. Peace.
