When living with a concurrent disorder some of us will find that we need an overhaul in our spiritual lives when we come into one day at a time recovery. Many of us welcome this endeavor as a path to contentment.
I know that when I lived with grandiose or paranoid delusions I found great relief when I learned to take myself off of the pedestal or the chopping block. Should I begin to entertain delusional thinking today I know that I am not the Christ or the anti-Christ. I know that I am not a prophet or a false prophet and when such thoughts develop in my thinking patterns I say that I am just a regular person. I do not beat myself up for such thoughts and I try to be gentle with myself like any compassionate person would be with another person with mental illness.
When I get down on myself and the old negative tapes (vagrant thoughts) continue on in my head a centering prayer leads to a gentle nudge to myself from what I would call a breath from a higher power which I believe has Grace to do so. I also believe that medication, for people like me, can get and keep us well enough for healthy spirituality.
There are times that I just want to silence the angry voice in my head that seems to be a part of my life so I do turn to centering prayer. Like others that I know I use the Jesus Prayer ( the Sinner’s Prayer ) or the short version of the Serenity Prayer. And yes I know that I am no saint. Just like a lot of people with addictions I was an incredibly self centered person. I do a bit better today.
I will never be perfectly well in this life but I can be well. I can be reasonably happy and content. It is of paramount importance that I don’t pick up that first toke or drink today. I maintain a few friendships and I partake in my responsibilities the best that I can. I take an active role in my recovery and I ask for help. I also treasure hope, love, and joy. I try and live in this day. Healthy spirituality is peace of mind. Haven’t people with mental illness suffered enough. Give yourself a break. Thank you for reading. Be well today.
