Those of us who live in one day at a time recovery have learned the world that is being sold to us might not exist. Recovery has taught us that we cannot maintain a perfect world forever. We have learned that often we would fall apart, before we had learned the imperfect journey of one day at a time recovery. We have now learned hospitals and treatment centers were there to help us. We learned that the sometimes amusing and often heroic families we admired on TV weren’t our families. And we thought we were going to be the misunderstood stars who would conquer our illness, and go on to be great people, and save our families and everyone else. When we learn that all people put their socks on one foot at a time, maybe then we can understand that one day at a time recovery can be amusing and heroic, but much of it is dealing with anxiety, depression, and messed up emotions and coping skills. And then we learn better coping skills. And maybe we will understand being misunderstood doesn’t make us a shining star. It makes us feel alone. Feeling no longer alone is what recovery is supposed to do for us. We learn that we are people. Real people. We become people who can live one day at a time clean and sober because when we use and drink our reality becomes distorted and we exist only for self. We didn’t know it and we couldn’t help it. It happens to people who are ill. Learn this because your happiness depends on it. People like me – we’re not preachers or teachers or prophets or leaders like some of us feel, or used to feel we were. We are simply people who know the alone. Not a little alone. The a lot alone. We feel it deep. Most people do at some point in their lives. Many of us need medication. Many people need medication and need to reach out. We will struggle. It happens. Families get mended to a degree. What we find is most of us are not in the same house anymore. Some of us move away. Some of us become estranged. Some lose or sort of lose contact. This has been going on for centuries. Illness has a way of doing this. Families have a way of being supportive if they can. The reality is that we have to become responsible for our own recovery. Then we learn how to live. We join support groups, recovery groups, hobby groups, creative groups, religious groups, and others. We have, and maintain a few friendships. We will be close to a select few. Day after day we grow, we fall, and we get back up and we grow even more. We no longer are sold on a perpetually perfect world. We no longer have to go through hell, and if we are we reach out. Most of us even know how to pray. Not only help, but thanks, and also wow. Anne Lamott said something like that (the help, thanks, and wow). People like us we reached out one day at a time. We know we don’t want to do it alone. We know all of us will always have something we need to learn. WE are all worthy of love and belonging no matter what any noise, or voice, or person has said to us. People like us, who do stuff like this writing, do it because we have something to say because of our empathy and our direction. It helps us and it helps other people. It’s being true to the spirit of recovery. This is living recovery one day at a time. The world can be good. This is our world. No one sold it to us. We live it. This is the real world. We become reasonable and reasonably happy people. We will understand gratitude. We have feelings like love and joy. We experience freedom. The idea is to try and pay it forward when you can. Peace
