I live clean and sober with a fairly manageable life as I live as a person who lives with a concurrent disorder. As I have often said I live life one day at a time and I am a person who lives a reasonable and a reasonably happy life. I know that I do well to remember this each and every day.
I am a person who lives with an illness that tells me that I don’t have an illness. When these flights of fanciful thinking occur I do well to remember that I am not perfect. When I remember that I am not perfect it is easier to accept that I live with a concurrent disorder. When I remind myself that I have an illness I am reminding myself that using substances to catch a buzz or to get wasted or to make a decision to stop taking medication that is necessary for good health could easily bring symptoms of a concurrent disorder. I know that I am to accept that the I have an illness and that I can choose to live in recovery just for this day just one day at a time. To deny this knowledge that I know from from experience is a symptom of addiction and also a symptom of mental illness. It is called denial. Denial happens usually in early recovery but in reality it can happen at anytime to anyone.
An illness is an illness. Acceptance of illness is life and we all live our lives as people who live with the human condition of human imperfection. Denial is part of the human ego (the I am) that tells us that we are just too together to have have such a stigmatized condition such as a concurrent disorder because people who live with mental illnesses or addictions are weak. That last statement is as untrue as untrue can be. Illness is illness. A concurrent disorder can affect anyone.
Denial tells us that we are in control when we are buzzed or when we are wasted. Using once can lead us into I want and then it leads us into I need. We also find ourselves needing to use even when our whole being is screaming I don’t want to use. We know we are destroying our lives but we can’t stop. The I am of addiction has taken over and we get so ill we can’t see that we are ill and we are on the merry-go-round of our addictions. If we see that we are on this merry-go-round we can have a moment of clarity we can ask for help to get off. Often we can see that we need help. Many people cry out for help.
One way to find something positive in being a person who is afflicted with a concurrent disorder is to find recovery from a concurrent disorder.
In my recovery I live my life one day at a time. I do not do this perfectly but I do do it well enough to be healthy enough to be reasonable and reasonably happy. For today my life is manageable today. I take the necessary steps to live in recovery this day and I use the tools that I have to help me stay well as I venture forth on this journey that is called life. Each day I ask the God of my understanding for help to stay clean and sober.
Illness is illness. Concurrent disorders are an illness or a combination of illnesses. Illness is the human condition of human imperfection. Denial of illness or human imperfection is a symptom of illness. Acceptance is a major tool of recovery
Thank you for reading. Be well today.