Once I consume substances, in particular booze and pot, I truly have no control over my life. One drink or one puff always leads to me getting wasted and my thinking becomes totally compromised. Putting on the brakes and stopping getting wasted is almost always impossible. It seems that the only way to stop is to run out of booze or pot or to become too physically or mentally sick to consume any more. I have heard this way of being wasted appears to be a seemingly hopeless state of being in regards to both the addict’s mental and physical conditions. Some psychiatrist and psychologist believe that it takes some form or manner of a spiritual experience to render one well again. Addictions of this nature are a mental and physical allergy in which once one drink or puff is consumed an afflicted person cannot stop unless they become wasted or they become so obsessed with consuming that they will eventually become wasted within a short period of time. Then the whole cycle of active addiction starts once again. Most of us usually need to bottom out or break down for any form of a breakthrough and recovery to take place in our lives. A spiritual awakening, or a spiritual experience can then lead us to recovery or sobriety. In many cases it is one day at a time remission from the disease of addiction.
Once I understood that I have adverse reactions to certain chemicals I became humble and admitted that I have a disease and that I have an allergy to certain substances including some prescribed medications. I now realize and accept that there are good drugs and there are bad drugs. The good drugs or the psychiatric medications that I take keep me healthy. Some medications cause an adverse reaction similar to booze and pot and today I choose not to consume them.
While actively using I did not know that one usage could lead me into active addiction and an altered state of mind and body. I had no control of where I went or what I did when using and now I can see that I was at the mercy of mind altering chemicals. I became an ill person. I was living life fighting a disease that I could not heal by myself. Once I admitted these things to myself I found that although this disease could not be cured I discovered that it could be arrested one day at a time. Living a lifestyle of recovery became possible.
If addiction is not put in remission addicts can live a very lonely and distraught life. Many of us end up in jail, detoxes, hospitals and/or other institutions. Very often addiction’s final stop is death. I am not saying that we are failures I am saying that addiction, especially when it is happening concurrently with mental illness, cause a lot of pain to ourselves and those around us. More often than not we need help to stop the carnage of this disease. Many of us cry out,”God help me!”
Today many of us who live with addictions know not to experiment with or to take a mind or mood altering substance unless it is a prescribed medication which benefits us with good health. We choose to use all the tools that we have discovered. Some of these tools are detoxes, hospitals, rehabs, recovery orientated programs, and natural and professional supports. Some people use 12 step recovery methods.
People who are living in recovery know that wasted is too painful. Many people attribute their recovery to a developing spiritual experience or in some case a sudden and life changing spiritual awakening. Some people like me continue to ask God, or some conception of God, to help with their recovery on a daily basis. I have found that I need help everyday to stay clean, sober, and to be reasonably happy or content. I take medication that keeps me healthy and I know that life is not always about me. Perhaps I am one of those people who have had and continue to have some form of an awakening on a daily basis. Life is not perfect but it is better than it was when I was wrapped up in a wasted world. We all have hope even though we found control impossible. We stop fighting to control what we just can’t control. We surrender. We practice daily total abstinence one day at a time and for just this day we stay clean and sober. A friend told me that living one day one day one day that they got their life back and that it is still one day one day one day after many many years. They are doing well. God bless you. Thank you for reading. Be well today.
- I do not encourage people to stop or start medication in any way implied or otherwise. I take medication under the care of a doctor and do so to be healthy and as such I believe that all medical questions should be taken to a doctor. I share my personal experiences and beliefs in a non professional way and I do so because I, and others, could possibly benefit from reading this blog and find one day at a time recovery from addictions. Many times getting clean from substances requires professional treatment and/or detoxification under the care of a doctor and reading this blog is not a substitute for medical care. In the case of an emergency contact 911.