Some people are creative driven people. Often when we seek to create something we are trying to express our feelings and our beliefs. Often we are sharing our values, and our intentions to participate in this journey that we call life. When we create we often can be exposed to a touch of humility. When being a creative person we will understand that life is not a competition. We accept this when we realize that creation is not merely an endeavor to inflate our egos. We understand that creativity is a part of our being. In my case it is a component of one day at a time recovery. Good, bad, or indifferent, creativity helps us all belong. If we step out of our egos we can all identify. Thank you for reading.
Those of us living in one day at a time recovery believe that the first difficulty of Self is Self itself. As we discovered from the experience and wisdom of those who have came before us we were led to believe Self runs amuck in much of our thoughts and steadfast beliefs. Self fears for its well being in regards to its physical being. Self fears for its well being in regards to its emotional being. And Self even fears for its well being in regards to its mental or intellectual well being. Self fears for its well being quite frequently, and can escape these Self obsessive fears with pleasure. Food, companionship, sex, and intoxicants have a way of calming the uneasiness. They become tension relief and they take the edge off a bit. The thing about Self is that Self is the mind, body, and spirit. When fearful many of us have a need for calm. We, as was said before, have to smooth the edge. When this need becomes an obsession for the the mind, body, or spirit, it is what we call addiction. When it becomes harmful and we have our lives becoming unmanageable we are experiencing the ill effects of addiction. We learn this ourselves pretty quickly but we will often dismiss, or reject this knowledge. Self often forgets the problems and unmanageability of addiction, and the results can be devastating. Those with experience told us we will end up in institutions or dead. The addicted Self denies this. The healthy Self know this. Often the healthy Self cries out, “God help me!” Those with experience have taught us we are not here for the well. Enjoy your lives. Some of us had to stop or die. So we reached out. One day at a time.
People who live in one day at a time recovery from mental health disorders and addiction know that when life gets hard we reach out for help. We do not have to face our struggles alone. The first thing we do is we need to take a breath and recognize we need help. It doesn’t matter how long we have been in recovery, when we need help and we don’t reach out, we can make mistakes. Mistakes make life difficult, and when life gets difficult, we can be resentful. Here is a reality check – resentful people don’t have much gratitude or contentment. It could even lead us into thinking we need a buzz or that we need to get wasted. This alone is a good enough reason to reach out. We need to let go of fear. If we don’t over-tax the good grace of people, most people like to help. Especially when they know we need it. With the help of other people we can do what was too difficult for us to do alone. When life gets hard we reach out. One day at a time.
Many of us living in one day at a time recovery know that gratitude comes when we are well. It’s a part of most people’s lives when stress is low or manageable, and we more than likely are calm, happy, and breathing well. The key is the calm, and the relaxed breathing. When we have the calm and the relaxed breathing, we can have happiness and gratitude. Or we have gratitude and happiness. Very often gratitude and happiness feed into each other. Even if we only have relaxed breathing, we can find a calm from a stressor until our stress becomes manageable. And when stress is managed, one day at a time recovery brings us into the moment which is calm accompanied by easy breaths. We become happy and grateful. It’s more than an attitude. It requires action. It’s the gift of the calm.
Some of us living in one day at a time recovery can have difficulties with a problem. This usually happens in hectic and stressful times. We cannot seem to find the words and our communication skills go out the window. We don’t know what to say, how to say it, or who to say it to. This is the difficulties of living with a mental illness. All we know is we are communicating that we are not the problem but what we are trying to say is we have have a problem that we can’t solve and we need someone to solve it for us. Years of going with the flow, adapting and being flexible to work and home life, and trying to help others while you try and help yourself can be difficult and confusing. Years of being brave, competent, and helpful can disappear from panic and stress. Poor communication happens and all we can communicate is we are not the problem. We are communicating we have a problem and we need help. Gently guide us please. If we ask for help, please help us. We don’t need to help ourselves because right then we can’t help ourselves.
Some of us who live in one day at a time recovery are people living with disabilities. What many people don’t realize is living with a a major mental illness is more than a major inconvenience. Some of us are disabled. More often than not we appear to be like the non-disabled person. We appear to have a degree of intelligence as any average person might have, but when outside of our routine we struggle and life can be very difficult. We cannot function and adapt like regular people do. If you’re not living with a mental health disability we don’t expect you to understand. For some of us it is impossible to find and maintain gainful employment. Some of us struggle so badly that we cannot have or maintain healthy relationships. And still some of us cannot have or fulfill reasonable and realistic goals. And in trying to do so, many of us suffer greatly. One of our true realities is we do love and value other people. Our one day at a time recovery has made it possible that we do work casually or part-time and maintain a few healthy relationships. Our goal planning becomes simple and realistic even though we struggle with outlandish plans and ideas. With love and support we can adapt to a reasonable and reasonably happy life. And we also understand being happy, joyous, and free. Our reality though is living with a major mental illness is more than a major inconvenience. It is difficult and disabling. Nonetheless we walk our path with love and hope living life one day at a time.
Those of us living in one day at a time recovery learn that time is valuable. When we learn this we find that we have a need to set boundaries when others aren’t present in the situation. Very often we cannot blame the person who can’t be present because they don’t know that you are spending time with them as they are spending time with themselves. When this happens we have the choice of listening to their agendas and just let it happen, or we can set a boundary. Sometimes some of us will be the listener but we will let others know things like life is life. If they cannot, or will not be in the present with us, very often we need to set a boundary. Other people don’t have to value our time. We do. Boundaries are important.
Those of us living in one day at a time recovery know we need to be paying attention to life. The reason we do this is because much of our recovery is based on the decisions we make, the things that we do or don’t do, and the words that we say. Many of us call this doing a personal inventory. When we do this we will be people who care for others, and who wish to do others no harm. If we have done wrong to someone we try to amend it. Those six little words, “I was wrong” and “I am sorry”, can be difficult words to say. If we have to amend the wrong we have done, by further amends, this too can be difficult. We learn this in time. We know we are not trying to be perfect. Furthermore we know we will never be perfect but some of us do learn to stop the wrong before it happens. We have learned to pay attention. Paying attention has its advantages. It can keep us in the present. Those who can stay in the present can learn to forgive, heal, and let go of the past. Those of us who can stay in the present can look forward to the future. Those of us who are paying attention know when people are hurting, and we know if we can truly help these people. Another good thing about paying attention is we know when we are hurting. We know when to take a break and we know when we need help. Paying attention is the gift of the present moment. Listen to the silence. We can hear everything.
Those of us living in one day at a time recovery know that our recovery isn’t just a cause. We live the life, we feel and felt the pain, we hit the bottoms, and we’ve lost the people who have died because of our disorders. We’ve done the rehabs, the units, the hospitals, and the jails. And still we go to meetings, work the steps, and try to help people. Not just people new to recovery, but also people who been in recovery for a fair amount of time. That’s just the way it is. It’s our lives and it’s our survival. In some strange, but not so strange way, what many others consider as our weakness, has turned into our strength. We try and help each other. And some of us get the calls from people hoping we can help their loved ones. And we do the art, write the books, record the records, and make the films. When we do this we know that this is not just a cause. We do this so we can survive. We know it’s not just about me. So we have the coffees, go to meetings, work the steps, and try to help people. And if we’re doing it we know we are doing it. Sometimes we wonder if we’re doing it right and we ask God for help (if we’re one of those people who ask a God for help) and we just keep on living our recovery one day at a time. In reality we know the difficult, and we know how to go with the flow. We know how to be happy. Again, we know it’s not about me. Our recovery is not just a cause. It’s our lives.
Having a comfortable life is important for people who are living in one day at a time recovery. Comfortable life does not mean that we will have all the bells and whistles afforded to those living with upper class incomes. Comfortable living means that we can be content with what we have and that we don’t have to stress ourselves so much that we will become ill or dissatisfied with our lives. It is important that we learn and appreciate this as a gift that our recovery has brought us. Even those of us who have a limited income are capable of finding comfortable living (though it does need to be adequate enough to meet our necessities). Having a comfortable living means we are healthy. It also means that we are reasonable and reasonably happy. And this means we can be happy, joyous, and free. Not perfect but comfortable. Life will have its struggles but we will do well. One day at a time we learn the joy of comfortable living.