Those of us living with mental health disorders and addiction need to give ourselves permission to ask for help. When we are stressed to the maximum and we just cannot stop using we need to accept this. Those of us living in one day at a time recovery know that it is more than just financial help that we need. Many times we need professional help in a stress free and safe environment where we can be assessed and treated. If we cannot gain access to such a place, we need to seek to be treated on an out-patient basis. If we stop using the substances that are making us ill, situations can change and many times we become healthy. And hopefully we will learn ways to deal with our stress. We might even join a group of recovering peers that can be a part of the help we need.
Those of us who live with mental health disorders and addictions need to come in out of the rain. Depressed, lonely, and tired is the rain no-one should live in. Those of us who are living in one day at a time recovery know this. We came in out of the rain. We reached out for help. Reaching out is the courageous and brave thing to do. We received professional help and some of us found our way in out of the rain. Many of us found tools to help live well lives. Many of us live one day at a time. Whether we believe it or not, we deserve to feel good. We deserve to come in out of the rain.
What I have discovered is that when I isolate, or even just spend too much time by myself, I can become too important. At least to myself. I know we are all important, but other people have their own lives. I know from living in one day at a time recovery that I need to have humility. I know that the old tapes that can play into my delusional modes of thinking are just fantasy. One day at a time recovery reveals this to me and keeps me humble. I needed medication to see this. People in recovery, who have lost touch of reality, can relate to this. Too much alone can be bad for us. If we share how important our sometimes delusional importance is with other people they just might not be able to relate. As was said before, recovering people can.
If there is anything we learn in recovery is we learn that self-care is not selfish. The reality is that we take care of ourselves so we can become less selfish people. In doing so we can be there for other people when they need us to be there for them. Our one day at a time recovery teaches us that we need to stay clean and sober. Many of us need to take medication to see the reality of this. In this reality we know that there are some good hearted people who think some of us don’t need medication. These are people who just don’t understand the importance of professional medical treatment. Medication has kept many of us in one day at a time recovery for many years. We set simple boundaries with these people. This is self-care. And as was said before that now that we are living in recovery we can be there for other people. This is the result of self-care.
Some days are messy days for people who live with concurrent disorders. We get out of bed and our morning routine becomes messed up. Our morning prayer and our morning reading just isn’t going well because we have too much on our mind. And we can see we had skipped yesterday’s dishes. We think we will do them when we get back from work. We think we are almost broke but we see we have sixty dollars in our wallet instead of ten. That didn’t happen when we were getting wasted. Still we still feel the day is a mess and we rush to the grocery store. Didn’t do much of that either when we were wasted. Then we go grab a pizza with our spouse or our partner, or maybe just by ourselves. And we were smart. We didn’t spend all we had. We feel anxious and we lie down. This is the mess of living recovery one day at a time. We do the dishes. Then we wind down and relax. We thank God for this messy day. This is a beautiful mess.
Reality checks are verbal inquiries that most people do to check the truth of an uncertainty. Reality checking happens to those of us who are living one day at a time recovery. For instance we might think that we have done something that has upset somebody because their body language and tone of voice is angry when they arrive home one day. The monkey in our mind tells us that they don’t like us. It also tells us that we don’t measure up as a person because of it. Then we feel worse because the monkey then tells us it’s all true. After all, why else would they be angry? They seem like they’re always pleasant and easy going but now they’re angry. What am I supposed to do? This is the time to do a reality check. We ask them, “Are you angry with me?” They tell us no that they have to cover someone’s shift on Saturday. They meant to call but work was busy and they also say they’re sorry and you believe them because of lived experience with them and their reassurance. We have done a simple reality check that has put an end to our uncertainty.
If we see this day in wellness we can see hope for tomorrow. The wellness in which we see this day that gives us hope for tomorrow is we are clean and sober. This is important. Recovery brings us out of the fog of delusion. Medication (for me), professional and natural supports, and the grace of a loving God can give, keep, or return us to good health. Many people living in recovery from concurrent disorders know and experience this. Not every day is a good day. Nonetheless we can be healthy people who can live our lives free from active addiction. When we are able to see this day as recovering people we learn the meaning of one day at a time.
The reality of gratitude is that we can be happy people. Happiness is a result of one day at a time recovery that we experience when we keep clean and sober. A roof over our heads, food to eat, access to health care, and having something worthwhile to do are not always guaranteed when we live in a system of meritocracy. Living in recovery from concurrent disorders can reveal this to us in one day at a time living. Realizing this can help us become reasonable and reasonably happy people. As I grow in my recovery, I realize that when I am reasonably happy I can experience joy and freedom. Mental illness and addiction can affect our gratitude, our happiness, and our ability to be reasonable. There are no guarantees in life. Many countries that are based on the system of meritocracy put in safeguards to prevent homelessness, and they have programs to feed those in need. They provide health-care for people including services for our mental health and our overall well being. The problem that occurs though is people fall through the cracks. This happens in imperfect societies. People living with addictions and mental illness know this.
Often when we attend a seminar, a workshop, or some form of support meeting we are there with our own agendas. If what we are listening to does not reinforce the importance of our agendas we usually have no reason to pay attention. I mean after all, aren’t we there for ourselves. After all, how can we agree with someone who disagrees with us. What some of us have discovered is that what we don’t agree with is that we are simply not there. And being simply not there might be is that we are simply not there yet. What some of us have discovered is we need to pay attention to others as best we can. There are many truths and many stories. Even though another’s story differs from ours it might help us or someone we know someday, somewhere, somehow. It might even save someone’s life. Thank you for reading.
There is a common delusion many people share which is that we can only be happy when we find Utopia. This is because we believe that Utopia is a place where all of our desires and dreams will be fulfilled. Such a place is the vision of people in bondage. It is the hopes of people in pain. Such is the pain of people living with concurrent disorders. The delusion we share is that we need perfection to be happy not the idea of does Utopia exist. If we believe that Utopia is a state of being, rather than a place to live, we will have moments of Utopian peace. And we can have a lot of serenity, happiness, and joy. It happens one day at a time. This is when we experience freedom from the bondage that active addiction places on us. We can be free from the delusion that happiness is anything other than the happy, joyous, and free lives recovering people live. Our pain is real. We can acknowledge that. When we are reasonable about what Utopia is, which is the freedom for people in bondage, we have the gift of gratitude and the gifts brought to us when we escape our delusions which some call the bondage of self. Thank you for reading.