Many people who live in one day at a time recovery wear the brave face of normal. In this case, the brave face of normal is doing well when you are tired. Not only tired, but edgy from being tired. This doesn’t only happen to people in one day at a time recovery. It happens to most mature individuals. We stay cordial and act decently to people. If we find that we cannot do this with people, when we are usually good at being cordial, we have to access our levels of activity and stress over the past few days, or perhaps the past couple of weeks. If we have been burning the candle at both ends, and if we are angry and critical, we need to rest. When rested, we can again wear the brave face of normal when needed. We live our wellness – one day at a time.
People who live in one day at a time recovery from concurrent disorders know that doing so is well worth the effort. We also know the work that it takes to stay in recovery can be difficult. First of all, we have to be honest with ourselves. If we do not learn how to help ourselves we can become ill. When ill, we can be irresponsible and careless, or we could lose touch with reality. We could also take risks that we would not when well. We could also become manic, or depressed, or suicidal. If we maintain our recovery, and if we participate in healthy decisions while acting accordingly, we will enjoy our lives. Even the struggles won’t seem so bad. Some of us have people in our lives but we don’t have the energy to socialize too much. As long as we are not pushing away those close to us we are more than likely okay. When we have people who are supportive of our recovery and our goals, people who know us, people who care about us, we will appreciate them. And we will learn the reality of life. Life isn’t perfect but it can be good. We put in the effort. We follow our treatment plan plus we partake in our support groups. And if we can, we also go to work. In addition to this, we know that it easier to stay in recovery one day at a time than it is come back from a relapse. Relapse is not a failure but it could be fatal. Put in the effort. It’s worth it.
Grace
At times you’re so grateful you can’t even cry
But inside fall the tears ever frightened and shy
For a child is born and they’re born to be free
For so gentle is grace and you finally see
For you’re kissed by the silence of innocent morns
The dew drops are dancing new beginnings are born
Imperfect perfection yet you’re hampered by fears
Of confusion and doubt but this grace is sincere
But at times you’re so grateful you can’t even cry
But inside fall the tears ever frightened and shy
For a child is born and they’re born to be free
For so gentle is grace and you finally see
The moment is magic when grace takes our hand
And we know we belong but we can’t understand
For we’ve wasted and tasted and hastened to live
Self-centered self-serving but it’s grace that forgives
At times you’re so grateful you can’t even cry
But inside fall the tears ever frightened and shy
For a child is born and they’re born to be free
For so gentle is grace and you finally see
And you think of the moment and the prodigal sons
The daughters the wives and the husbands that run
The sinners last dinners and thieves on the cross
The Buddha the pain and the times we have lost
When we feel we are nothing we know grace disagrees
It embraces with love helps us off of our knees
And at times you’re so grateful you can’t even cry
We’ve a moment of peace and we drop our disguise
And we know that we live as the prodigal sons
The daughters the wives and the husbands that run
The sinners last dinners and thieves on the cross
The Buddha the pain and the times we have lost
Many people who live in one day at a time recovery from mental health disorders and addiction have a conversation within their own minds. The conversation is should I share my experience with others publicly. If the answer appears as a yes, the first thing that we have to recognize is that we need to have boundaries. We need not to disclose anything that could hurt us, or other people. Many of us who have spoken in public know the importance of following a scripted talk. We know that our talk should be appropriate. Vincent Van Gough was a great artist and he wasn’t a great artist just because of his pain. He had skill. If people have questions many of them will come out of our talks. Be prepared. Leave it up to the professionals to diagnose and treat other people. We don’t prescribe or recommend medications. We can share only our experiences. Lastly, leave people with hope. One day at a time.
I have sat inside rooms with people who live in one day at a time recovery. Most of them are fairly adapted to life when they don’t use or drink. Most of them are able bodied and most of them have sound minds. I used to feel a little on the outs because many of them have no idea of what psychosis is all about. But in reality, some of them do. They talk about the coming down or the coming off of whatever they so chose to get or keep wasted on. They talk about the voices that were taking over. The thoughts of suicide and the suicide attempts. Some of these people were in such bad shape that they had little concept of reality. I have heard the stories of the people who were in the units. Even with these stories and experiences most of them don’t say they have, or had, a mental health disorder. Maybe they don’t. Maybe they didn’t. Sometimes when I am talking I will say that I am a disabled recovering psychotic after I identify myself as a person living in one day at a time recovery. It is a part of my story. You see, the units were not shameful for me. That is where one day at a time recovery begins for many people. Many people are beginning to understand this. In these rooms we are no longer alone and we are not out of our minds. We see the miracles begin.
There is a crazy freedom that people who are living in one day a time recovery get to experience. We learn to live reasonably happy lives which grants us the ability to be happy, joyous, and free. The reason we can have lives that are happy, joyous, and free is because we know and understand that what we claim is not hypocrisy because we do not claim to be perfect, better, happier, or in any way more spiritually fit than any other person. We know we merely claim to grow in emotional, mental, and spiritual health one day at a time. We understand the bondage of self and we become aware of this bondage when it appears. And it does appear to all of us. It’s called life. This bondage appeared much more when we lived our lives wrapped up solely in the unhealthy circumstances of active concurrent disorders. We know that people are more in love with humanity and life when they are emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthy. This world becomes a much better place to live in in one day at a time recovery. We know the control freaks because we can be them, but we also learn to let go. We get better at dealing with stress. But in all reality we know that life has its pain. We can own it. We can process it. And we let it go. This is the crazy freedom that people living in one day at a time recovery get to experience. It’s a gift. Be grateful.
Many people have paid a high price to find one day at a time recovery from concurrent disorders. To start we have paid a huge financial cost to realize we had no choice but to accept that we needed help. We simply couldn’t stop drinking or using when we had to stop. Some of us lost everything we had, which in some cases might have been fortunes in security. Some of us lost the friendship and love of people who we cared dearly for. That’s an awful loss. Some of us were destroying our physical health while also damaging our brains and our minds. Some of us lost any semblance of reality that is found in a sober mind and we could not develop a mature sense of inherent self dignity which is something we can find in the one day at a time recovery. We lost the reality of freedom of choice. One day at a time recovery is not an exclusive group of people. We have all paid dearly to be free. We know how to find it. Reach out for help to find out how to help yourself. We need to find and use professional, peer, and natural supports. This also includes taking medication as prescribed for some of us. We need to stop adding to the cost that we will pay if we don’t get the help we need to help ourselves by living in recovery one day at a time.
People who live with mental health disorders and addiction understand desperation that is quiet and lonely. This quiet desperation is a longing to be well. It is a desperation for love and belonging. It is a desperation to be at ease within ones self. Quiet desperation is a part of living with a concurrent disorder, and it occurs when our troubles flow like waters through a crumbling damn. We have to reach out for help. Alone, at this time, is no place to be. Here is the upside of quiet desperation. When we reach out and get help to help ourselves we quietly begin to become healthy. Perhaps a doctor, a social worker, an addiction counsellor, a family member, a friend, a clergy member, or someone from a 12 step program can give us the help we need. For myself, I needed to be hospitalized, medicated, and I had to reach out to some of the other people mentioned above. It took time but this quiet desperation became a loud cry for help, and then it became the gift of desperation. I don’t have it all together. No one does. My life is humble, modest, and it has its adversities. I do reach out and in my own way I freely give back.
People who are living in one day at a time recovery know that there are times when giving grace is more difficult than others. It can bit difficult to give grace when we are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. It can be difficult to give grace when we are in physical or emotional pain. It can be difficult if we lack the ability to empathize with a person in need of grace. It can be difficult for those of us who can have the tendency to be self-centered or self-serving. This is the nature of some of us but some still do reach out and extend the hand of grace. When we are well, giving grace is a fairly common occurrence for us. During challenging times giving grace can be difficult but some people, no matter what, know the importance of always giving grace. Grace is always a God thing.
Most people who are living in one day at a time recovery are people who know about receiving grace. We received it from our parents, children, and other members of our families. We received it from our employers and our co-workers, our friends and our communities. In addition to this some of us have received grace from the courts, peace officers, and the government (or so the people who vote for them). And some of us have received it from other people we have hurt. Those of us who choose to believe that there is a God out there, who we know is beyond our comprehension, know one thing for certain. Most of us wouldn’t be alive today, and in recovery, if it wasn’t for the grace of this God. We receive grace, perhaps confused, but grateful. We might even ask why? Grace is a gift we did not merit. It is born of love, hope, and charity. And we also will give grace. One day at a time.