Those of us who live in one day at a time recovery know the meaning of us and them. The problem is that both us and them believe in them and us. The reality is that we are all us. Both sides of the coins are us. Everyone has inherent dignity. Treat each other that way. You know them so called disabled people collecting welfare are taking all my tax money. They are less than me. Make them work. Never mind that I worked at the mill and when I became disabled I received seven times the amount in my disability payment. After all I payed into it. And the disabled person who doesn’t make enough to live on says that I need more. Give me more. And the system says go to work. We can train you. But you know they can’t. And they know they probably can’t so they can’t help you. Everyone needs to be treated with inherent dignity. If we must have us and them treat them with inherent dignity. Why? Because they are us. And more than likely we are them.
Those of us who are living in one day at a time recovery know that we to need find wellness while living within a system of meritocracy. There are people who live and work within this system that will help us. When ill, and if needed, hospitals, detoxes, and treatment centers can help with our wellness and health-care plans. Participate in becoming well and functional. After discharge we more than likely will receive follow up care. For some of us it was to take medication as prescribed, go to mental health appointments, don’t use or drink, be aware of the onset of any suicidal ideology, and if there were any thoughts of suicide, self-harm, or hurting others, call the clinic for help. People like me also attend groups for people living in one day at a time recovery and other kinds of support groups. They are a big part of our lives. It can take time for the fog to clear and realize that the system offers opportunities to help us. We need to be aware and use whatever help the system, and our natural supports, can give us. They merit us the chance to be well. Do your research. It’s not always easy but it’s worth it. Life is not perfect but many of us become and remain well one day at a time. You can too. Merit yourself that.
Those of us who live with concurrent disorders can burn down too many bridges. The sad thing is that we can do this while living in one day at a time recovery. This is the result of it’s about me. It’s the result of you need to listen to me. It’s the result of I am important. If we don’t, won’t, or can’t step away from this mindset we will start to burn down too many bridges. People do this. My hope is that we don’t have to. It can be it’s about me. Someone should listen. And yes we are important. It’s just that most people can’t give us this assurance. People need training to help us. Accept that. I hope I can stop burning down too many bridges. I don’t know if I have the empathy. I’m learning. One day at a time.
Those of us who live with mental health disorders and addictions need to come in out of the rain. Depressed, lonely, and tired is the rain no-one should live in. Those of us who are living in one day at a time recovery know this. We came in out of the rain. We reached out for help. Reaching out is the courageous and brave thing to do. We received professional help and some of us found our way in out of the rain. Many of us found tools to help live well lives. Many of us live one day at a time. Whether we believe it or not, we deserve to feel good. We deserve to come in out of the rain.
Those of us who live with anxiety and/or depression know that hugs can sometimes make us feel like weeping. We’re not losing our minds. It’s a feeling of alone. Those of us who are living in one day at a time recovery know this feeling. I have heard it described as being in a small room with a hundred people and still feeling all alone. The rooms of recovery have taught me that we are not alone. But there are times we still feel that way. Reoccurring anxiety and/or depression can reintroduce us to feelings of alone. If this is an emergency, or if it becomes an emergency, we call 911 or our local crisis line immediately. The alone I am talking about is an alone most people can feel. Those of us who have been in recovery for a while know this and we know that we are not alone. Anxiety and/or depression are no joke. Many people turn to professional medical help. You will be heard and being heard is important. Many of us have turned to support groups for help and live life one day at a time which means reach out for help and be well today.
And his world cried like suicide
Being lost so much insane
A sunny day of drinks and tokes
Then coming down like cruel cold rain
For reality does not exist
Within the tears of someone else
Being lost so lost in emptiness
All this emptiness still felt.
So he shakes his head and says a prayer
For all the pains of yesterday
And the night sweats and the morning fear
Within the cruel cold light of day
And the headaches and the trembling hands
He sees a hole punched in a wall
For the booze it took him to its lands
And he felt so very small.
And freezing rain breaks weary limbs
That grow on strong dead trees
So saddened like remorseful hymns
With a pain that no-one sees
And a hapless anguish breaks his heart
So engulfed in darkened night
He surrenders with his tears of dread
Screaming God I lost the fight.
And he drifts off in a moment real
Where much nothingness does matter
And he wakes up in the light of day
With its noise of constant clatter
While he knows he cannot change what is
And he knows exactly why
And the coming down like cruel cold rain
With the tears he often cries.
And strong dead trees just will not bend
But eventually they break
For he’s caged by pain that no-one sees
Such a lonely silent ache
But perhaps a sudden flash of light
Will dry the tears that fall
But now he coasts in search of hope
But he’s sort of blind like Saul.
Saint Paul or Saul he’ll never be
He’s a broken strong dead tree
Just a strong dead tree that broke in two
That he saw eventually
But in his strength there was a weakness
And in his weakness he was strong
And he knows it took so many years
That passed quick but took so long.
And the stars shall shine within the sky
And the rain shall often dance
And a broken strong dead tree shall pray
And be given one more chance
And betwixt beyond and up and down
Behold and hold on tight
And he knows it took so many years
And it’s grace that makes it right.
And broken strong dead trees shall fade
Into flowers that shall grow
While the bees shall simply pollenate
And new life shall simply grow
For it simply is a twist in life
That this world is forgiving
For a broken strong dead tree is gone
And has found a world of living.
And living has its ups and downs
While a strong new tree has grown
As nature changes like the tides
Where the bees had often flown
And in his life he was reborn
And in his life he sees
A sunrise and a pleasant morn
And the tears that set him free.
Though his anger screams in cold stone rage
He’s a frightened child who weeps
And silence shreds and scars his heart
So much it hides and sleeps
While music soothes the beast inside
The madness walks to mourn
And ragged is his leather coat
With its lining worn and torn.
An aging tired man in pain
Still smiles loves and needs
He fears and sleeps the troubled sleep
And shakes and sweats and bleeds
Embracing love believing hope
At times he curses all
He touches heaven walks through hell
And falls and falls to fall.
To fall in Paradise he smiles
To serve and rise in peace
Perhaps the tears and fears shall die
With the chains that shall release
The human heart the human soul
And twice his dreams are born
With the splendor of a leather coat
With its lining worn and torn.
And living has its ups and downs
While a strong new tree has grown
And nature changes like the tides
Where the bees had often flown
And in his life he was reborn
And in his life he sees
A sunrise and a pleasant morn
And the tears that set him free.
And his world cried like suicide
Being lost so much insane
A sunny day of drinks and tokes
Then coming down like cruel cold rain
For reality does not exist
Within the tears of someone else
Being lost so lost in emptiness
All this emptiness still felt.
To fall to fall in Paradise
To serve and rise in peace
Perhaps the tears and fears shall die
With the chains that shall release
The human heart the human soul
And twice his dreams are born
And the splendor of a leather coat
With its ling worn and torn.
Some people living in one day at a time recovery believe that their success should be measured. It is not just some recovering people who think this way. Society in general values people based on their level of functioning or their marketable skills. This is the system of meritocracy. If we cannot market what we do, or function at an acceptable level, we can be left out in the cold. Literally left out in the cold. I do believe that it is important that we all participate as best we can to contribute to society in general, but those of us lacking in such matters should be valued. We are all worthy of inherent dignity. Many people believe this. It is one of the basic building blocks of society. If you don’t think so you’re concept of civilization is a bit off. Most people do the best that they can. It’s not just a matter of functioning. Bring us in out of the cold.
People who live in one day at a time recovery know that pride can get in the way of growth. If we don’t know this, we haven’t payed attention. Many of us know that pride can hamper our ability to accept, or to adapt, to a variety of circumstance and changes in life. Sometimes we still let pride take the lead in our decision making. Experience lets us recognize this, but often our ego will tell us we cannot be wrong. When pride is in the driver’s seat the ego is riding shotgun and co-pilot at the same time. This is when pride gets in the way. We become unteachable. Then reality sets in and teaches us a lesson. We put pride in the back seat and we fire the ego. We listen to those who can teach us. Then we are teachable and we learn life by living life one day at a time.
Some of us who live in one day at a time recovery know that recovery is a personal responsibility. We know that our spouses, partners, or anyone else that we might hope to share the load with are not. Some of us do, and will need support from others. Medical supports come from medical professionals. Life skills are also things we can learn from professionals. We can also pick up life skills from supports groups, twelve step programs, and other people who are competent in such matters. The thing about life skills is we have to apply them in our lives. If we already have our minds made up on what we are going to do, to either start recovery, or maintain our recovery, we could be wasting our time. Someone else’s too. If we are responsible enough to pay attention to someone other than our own sometimes misguided thoughts, we can do well. As was said, recovery is a personal responsibility. Pay attention.
There is a realization that comes to people in one day at a time recovery. This realization is that life is good. A realization that many of us have is that we find reality and we realize that we are not fundamentally different from others. We breathe, we eat, and we sleep. Though many of us feel like we’re different we are all fundamentally the same. Again – we breathe, we eat, and we sleep. We do gravitate towards people who share similarities with us because we all need love and belonging. People in one day at a time recovery know that life is good. We all have to adapt to difficult situations. We understand reality and being reasonably happy. The reality that we have found has also shown us we can be happy, joyous, and free. Joy does happen. Welcome to reality one day at a time. Be grateful.