Paul Dupuis

For those of us who live life managing a mental illness it is important to develop rational and reasonable thinking so that we can live in recovery one day at a time. Rational and reasonable thinking can take us out of the I am of stress and the I am of I need  constant and continual relief.

This relief usually comes in the form of unhealthy addictions or the obsessive give me something to make me feel better. When we live life not taking reasonable care of ourselves and we use poor coping methods I really don’t understand why we wonder why we are anxious and stressed. Nicotine, caffeine, and obsessive worry are a catalyst to anxiety. Anxiety is based in fear and it can be induced by poor physical and emotional coping methods.

Certain medications can help us to deal with anxiety. They are to be taken under the care and the direction of a competent doctor.

When dealing with anxiety there comes a time that we have to learn about ourselves and where this fear or these fears are coming from. We have to name our fears and we have to accept that we are people and people can be afraid. Yes we can be afraid.

Once we accept our fears we can then see that our fears can be valid and once we know our fears we can face them the best that we can.  We will no longer have to deal with our fears by masking them with the false sense of security that a constant buzz delivers every time that we pop a pill, take a puff, or have a drink. And once we see our fears then we can begin to know ourselves.

Then we can begin to see that we are people. We can know our fears and with a bit of reflection we can see that we are more than our fears. We have human qualities. We will see that we are a part of creation and that we have been created as  valuable human beings. We will see that we are humans living who can be free from anxiety or fear. One day at a time.

We will be healthy or healthier. Being free from constant anxiety does not mean that we won’t have panic attacks. It does not mean that we will not be afraid. It does not mean that we won’t get angry and it does not mean that we won’t be defensive. It does not mean that we won’t take medications. It does not mean that we don’t need stress relief. It does mean that we can be free of constant anxiety and constant fear one day at a time.

Beginning to know ourselves and accepting that we can have fear we can realize that we are not the center of the universe which is very hard to see because when we live in constant fear and continual anxiety  we are on an unhealthy survival mode style of living. We need to let go of this fear.

What I know is that I am a part of creation. I am a part of God’s universe. I am a person and I have the right to be as healthy as humanly possible. Also I have the right to be reasonably happy, joyful, and content one day at a time. This is freedom from bondage for many people as they live in recovery one day at a time.

One day at a time living can help us to live free from anxiety when we live with  healthy coping methods. Naming our fears and knowing why we are afraid is healthy thinking. We don’t let anxiety own us just for today.

God bless you and thank you for reading. Be well today.

I live clean and sober with a fairly manageable life as I live as a person who lives with a concurrent disorder. As I have often said I live life one day at a time and I am a person who lives a reasonable and a reasonably happy life. I know that I do well to remember  this each and every day.

I am a person who lives with an illness that tells me that I don’t have an illness. When these flights of fanciful thinking occur I do well to remember that I am not perfect. When I remember that I am not perfect it is easier to accept that I live with a concurrent disorder. When I remind myself that I have an illness I am reminding myself that using substances to catch a buzz or to get wasted or to make a decision to stop taking medication that is necessary for good health could easily bring symptoms of a concurrent disorder. I know that I am to accept that the I have an illness and that I can choose to live in recovery just for this day just one day at a time. To deny this knowledge that I know from from experience is a symptom of addiction and also a symptom of mental illness. It is called denial. Denial happens usually in early recovery but in reality it can happen at anytime to anyone.

An illness is an illness. Acceptance of illness is life and we all live our lives as people who live with the human condition of human imperfection. Denial is part of the human ego (the I am) that tells us that we are just too together to have have such a stigmatized condition such as a concurrent disorder because people who live with mental illnesses or addictions are weak. That last statement is as untrue as untrue can be. Illness is illness. A concurrent disorder can affect anyone.

Denial tells us that we are in control when we are buzzed or when we are wasted. Using once can lead us into I want and then it leads us into I need. We also find ourselves needing to use even when our whole being is screaming I don’t want to use. We know we are destroying our lives but we can’t stop. The I am of addiction has taken over and we get so ill we can’t see that we are ill and we are on the merry-go-round of our addictions. If we see that we are on this merry-go-round we can have a moment of clarity we can ask for help to get off. Often we can see that we need help. Many people cry out for help.

One way to find something positive in being a person who is afflicted with  a concurrent disorder is to find recovery from a concurrent disorder.

In my recovery I live my life one day at a time. I do not do this perfectly but I do do it well enough to be healthy enough to be reasonable and reasonably happy. For today my life is manageable today. I take the necessary steps to live in recovery this day and I use the tools that I have to help me stay well as I venture forth on this journey that is called life. Each day I ask the God of my understanding for help to stay clean and sober.

Illness is illness. Concurrent disorders are an illness or a combination of illnesses. Illness is the human condition of human imperfection. Denial of illness or human imperfection is a symptom of illness. Acceptance is a major tool of recovery

Thank you for reading. Be well today.

I sometimes think as a recovering person and as I think as a recovering person I know that too much alone time can be a bad thing.

When alone for too much time, vagrant thoughts and negative tapes can play in our heads. They can become a slight annoyance and then they can grow into all out havoc. The two of these can be more common during stressful periods of our lives.

Both of these two can run rampantly destructful when we are smoking dope or drinking. Today I know that I can’t do either of these. Some people just can’t smoke pot or drink. I have accepted that I am one.

Even vagrant thoughts based on grandiose delusions can be damaging to one’s self. The fall is hard and also I really don’t enjoy the arrogance that goes with grandiosity. We are all important. That is just the way it is.

I am fine with being a person. No better or no worse than anyone else. Being human is a blessing.

Today, like many other people, I choose to be a recovering person one day at a time.

There is all kinds of recovery material on line. Choose recovery.

Today we have a choice. Live your recovery one day a time. Thank you for reading. Be well today.

I used cannabis and alcohol for 19 years. I believe that it magnified the effects of living with a major mental illness. Both of these substances have a history of doing this to people. Pot became an every day thing and I became a binge drinker. The alcohol binges became longer and closer together.

I needed to get buzzed to face life. It became my normal. It was my security blanket. I couldn’t mature to be a responsible adult. I could have coped with life and a mental illness a bit better had I been clean and sober.

I have some regrets. I believe that I have learned from my past.

I have couch surfed and I have lived with friends. I have had a couple of short live together romances but they did not work out. I have worked odd jobs. I have been on employment insurance and welfare. I did what I had to do to get by. I did not understand that I had a disability. I understand it today. Today I cope with life and my illness.
Even today my wife and I get help from the government.

It is one day at a time recovery.

Life has not been perfect in recovery and I have had set backs. In reality I am doing well today and in much of my recovery I have done well. On rough days I put one foot in front of the other and I try and focus on being well.

I know other people are doing it. I am reasonable and reasonably happy. I am free form the desire and the obsession of pot and alcohol. It can be done and it feels good. The monkey is off my back. It feels good.

Today I know I am not alone. We don’t have to be. Thanks for reading. Be well today.

I believe that many people who live with mental illness and addiction have struggles in their lives. We can face this adversity and we can be well one day at a time.

I choose to stay clean and sober one day at a time and I try to monitor my thought process while doing so. In addition to this I try and be aware of the moods I am experiencing on a regular basis.

One of the things I watch for is vagrant thoughts. In this awareness, one pattern of thinking I see is self-righteous thinking. I have been told by a friend that I am no better or no worse than anyone else. Another friend added – just as good as. I have no reason to feel I have all the answers to recovery.

I have been reasonably well and reasonably happy for many years. I have not drank alcohol or smoked dope for all thirty of them. I have had my struggles and have been unwell throughout some of these difficulties but I keep living my recovery one day at a time.

I do not have all the answer to recovery and I am not so foolish as to think that I do. I have had a lot of support from people over the years.

I also know that medication is a main tool of my recovery. I take it as prescribed. This is my choice because I do not want to be ill. And I choose to stay connected with other people in give and take relations ships. They are my family and friends. I also stay connected with others who can help and I try to connect with those I can help.

So when I need I take a deep breath. I stay clean and sober one day at a time and often I pray. Help, thanks, and wow. I am responsible for my recovery and in this responsibility I know I am not alone. I hope you know that you do not have to do this alone. Be well today. Thanks for reading.

Once I consume substances, in particular booze and pot, I truly have no control over my life. One drink or one puff always leads to me getting wasted and my thinking becomes totally compromised. Putting on the brakes and stopping getting wasted is almost always impossible. It seems that the only way to stop is to run out of booze or pot or to become too physically or mentally sick to consume any more. I have heard this way of being wasted appears to be a seemingly hopeless state of being in regards to both the addict’s mental and physical conditions. Some psychiatrist and psychologist believe that it takes some form or manner of a spiritual experience to render one well again. Addictions of this nature are a mental and physical allergy in which once one drink or puff is consumed an afflicted person cannot stop unless they become wasted or they become so obsessed with consuming that they will eventually become wasted within a short period of time. Then the whole cycle of active addiction starts once again. Most of us usually need to bottom out or break down for any form of a breakthrough and recovery to take place in our lives. A spiritual awakening, or a spiritual experience can then lead us to recovery or sobriety. In many cases it is one day at a time remission from the disease of addiction.

Once I understood that I have adverse reactions to certain chemicals I became humble and admitted that I have a disease and that I have an allergy to certain substances including some prescribed medications. I now realize and accept that there are good drugs and there are bad drugs. The good drugs or the psychiatric medications that I take keep me healthy. Some medications cause an adverse reaction similar to booze and pot and today I choose not to consume them.

While actively using I did not know that one usage could lead me into active addiction and an altered state of mind and body. I had no control of where I went or what I did when using and now I can see that I was at the mercy of mind altering chemicals. I became an ill person. I was living  life fighting a disease that I could not heal by myself. Once I admitted these things to myself I found that although this disease could not be cured I discovered that it could be arrested one day at a time. Living a lifestyle of recovery became possible.

If addiction is not put in remission addicts can live a very lonely and distraught life. Many of us end up in jail, detoxes, hospitals and/or other institutions. Very often addiction’s final stop is death. I am not saying that we are failures I am saying that addiction, especially when it is happening concurrently with mental illness, cause a lot of pain to ourselves and those around us. More often than not we need help to stop the carnage of this disease. Many of us cry out,”God help me!”

Today many of us who live with addictions know not to experiment with or to take a mind or mood altering substance unless it is a prescribed medication which benefits us with good health. We choose to use all the tools that we have discovered. Some of these tools are detoxes, hospitals, rehabs, recovery orientated programs, and natural and professional supports. Some people use 12 step recovery methods.

People who are living in recovery know that wasted is too painful. Many people attribute their recovery to a developing spiritual experience or in some case a sudden and life changing spiritual awakening. Some people like me continue to ask God, or some conception of God, to help with their recovery on a daily basis. I have found that I need help everyday to stay clean, sober, and to be reasonably happy or content. I take medication that keeps me healthy and I know that life is not always about me. Perhaps I am one of those people who have had and continue to have some form of an awakening on a daily basis. Life is not perfect but it is better than it was when I was wrapped up in a wasted world. We all have hope even though we found control impossible. We stop fighting to control what we just can’t control. We surrender. We practice daily total abstinence one day at a time and for just this day we stay clean and sober. A friend told me that living one day one day one day that they got their life back and that it is still one day one day one day after many many years. They are doing well.  God bless you. Thank you for reading. Be well today.

• I do not encourage people to stop or start medication in any way implied or otherwise. I take medication under the care of a doctor and do so to be healthy and as such I believe that all medical questions should be taken to a doctor. I share my personal experiences and beliefs in a non professional way and I do so because I, and others, could possibly benefit from reading this blog and find one day at a time recovery from addictions. Many times getting clean from substances requires professional treatment and/or detoxification under the care of a doctor and reading this blog is not a substitute for medical care. In the case of an emergency contact 911.

Sometimes, but not very often, I have gotten a little coverage in a newspaper or radio station about something I have written or have been involved in in one way or another. When this happens I do well to remember that I am a person who is an addict/alcoholic who is trying to cope and live in recovery from a concurrent disorder one day at a time. Also I know that I am the last person that I know who should give advice about most things but I do write about my experience in a general way and I share a bit how I live in recovery. I also hope that if you live with a concurrent disorder and you are struggling that perhaps you too will find recovery and if anything I have written is of help to you then I hope that you do well and continue to be well in your search for recovery. Remember I am an addict/alcoholic who has been pretty messed up and I still live with pretty messed up thought processes yet today but today delusions or other vagrant thoughts do not afflict or completely consume me for long periods of time affecting my wellness and relationships to the point that my life is completely unmanageable.

Why would I write this?

Many years ago when I was on the psychiatric unit for being so unwell that I tried to end my life I read a story in the bible while visiting the chapel looking for signs. The story I read was about the Pharisee and the tax collector in the temple. The Pharisee was praying to God and as he prayed he told God what a great person he was and all the righteous things he did and does in his life. I believe the Pharisee also pointed out how blessed he was not to be like that no good tax collector was who the Pharisee thought was simply wasting God’s time. The Pharisee believed that the tax collector was truly unworthy of even trying to pray. Of course the tax collector knew that he was a sinner and he beat on his chest saying God have mercy on me a sinner.

What I hear the lesson in this is is that the tax collector knew he was sinner and the Pharisee was a hypocrite. I knew that I could relate to the tax collector but I did not see that I could relate to the Pharisee too. I am just realizing today that I can.

You see in my world I feel torn between being the Christ or the Anti-Christ. This is memories of delusions and feelings that can still be present today. Am I ill? Well no.

I am a person who will use the Jesus Prayer (the Sinner’s Prayer) as a centering prayer that takes me out of a judgemental or anxious state  of mind. I also use it for panic attacks and in addition to this I use when I feel threatened or in danger. “Lord Jesus Christ son of God Be merciful to me a sinner” It works.

I have just begun to acknowledge that I use this prayer and have been for a while. The first time that I have acknowledged it in my writing was just recently. I feared using this as a tool that I use because I have a feeling that I am simply unworthy to acknowledge this. You see – the Pharisee in the temple is really the addict/alcoholic writing a recovery blog about recovery one day at a time even though I still struggle and in reality I overdosed only five years ago. I had an adverse reaction to new medication and I became ill.  You don’t get much more messed up than this especially when I thought or think that I have all the answer. I don’t – I haven’t – I can’t. Today I know who I am. My name is Paul. My parents gave me that name.

Anyways – Remember The Eagle. The other day I was feeling well and my wife Brenda had to go to the hospital lab for blood work. I waited in the car because I was listening to a preacher on the radio talking about the Pharisee and the tax collector. I thought that was a sign. I was looking out the windshield and I saw what I thought was a large crow floating in the sky above a neighboring street’s houses. When I looked closer I could see it was an eagle gliding over rooftops. I had never seen one in town before. I felt awe. I felt it was a sign.

Yes I am a sinner. Not the Christ or the Anti-Christ. A sinner – you know a person. If you think I am preaching you might think I am the Pharisee. Sometimes I feel like the Pharisee. There are many other people who live in recovery one day at a time who do much better than me. But I have to try to give away what I have so I can keep it. This is one day at a time recovery. I am a person who relates to two people. The tax collector and the Pharisee. They too were  both people. I just know I can still get messed up but I am a person who is for the better part reasonably happy and in recovery one day at a time with and from a concurrent disorder. And I use the Jesus Prayer as a centering prayer. Deep down I know it is okay to do so. Remember the eagle. Thank you for reading – Be well today.

In recovery and living with a concurrent disorder we can find the silent tears of freedom. It doesn’t seem like much, these so called silent tears, but the joy of emotions is true grace.

Being numbed by our disorders we might have never smiled tears of happy joy. The joy of feeling.

I have had happy tears simply smile from my eyes from the love stories  found in music, television shows, and movies when there was a time that I didn’t know that I was a sentimental person. I know now. This is a gift of one day at a time recovery.

The freedom to feel the freedom of the silent tears of joy is true grace. You know that silent stream of joy rolling from your eyes. And these joyful tears have surfaced just because a love story had had a happy ending.

Being buzzed or wasted took this joy from me. I smile today just realizing that I experience such  special and moving emotions today.

It might not happen every day but it does happen. The old numbness that I felt in the past has softened in this one day at a time recovery.

Perhaps it doesn’t frequently happen to everyone but even the hardest and most stoic of us can experience such grace.

Some people just aren’t wired in a sentimental way. Perhaps it is just that silent smile of joy or the echo of happy laughter. It’s all gratitude and love and it happens one day at a time. I think it is a miracle.

One day at a time we can appreciate the freedom of recovery. The silent tears of freedom can live in and through us. One day at a time. Thank you for reading. Be well today.

As a person living with a psychiatric condition (schizo-affective disorder) and as a person who is concurrently  living in one day at a time recovery from addiction I must say that in my opinion that both afflictions, either alone or coexisting, are illnesses.

I do not believe in the concept that one simply needs to pull up their boots to overcome or as some might say conquer these diseases. People living with these concurrent illnesses more often than not need to be treated with what some would call contrary methods.

The fact that medication can be used to manage these disorders can be seen, by some people, as a counter productive treatment. More often than not medication is the life-line for people living with a mental illness which is coexisting with addictions. I must say that it can be successful and that is just the way that it is.

Disorders like anxiety and depression can become life-threatening afflictions. Often when coexisting with addictions it can be clearly seen that managing these concurrent conditions together recovery can be more successful instead of treating just one or the other. People can become well. And remember this – we are people.

Some people will self medicate to deal with mental health conditions and this could lead to a worse affliction than that is already present. An example of this is when a person who is living with depression decides to use alcohol to feel better. More often than not it makes conditions worse than they are at that time. Life and health can be put at risk.

Substances such as alcohol or other drugs can make it difficult to properly diagnose a mental illness. When one is properly diagnosed and treated recovery can be made possible. My recovery is based on living life one day one day one day at a time and using the right medication for the right condition. I have learned many coping methods from therapists, rehab programs, self-help methods, and I tie into a healthy form of spirituality to be reasonable, reasonably happy, joyous, and free. Life is not perfect and I live with adversity the best that I can. I am pretty well content or on the beam but I know that I do fall off the beam at times. That is when one needs supports and I know how to use natural and professional supports. I am not only a human being; I am a human being living.

Concurrent disorders can be successfully treated when the one afflicted with one participates in their recovery and then recovery is possible. We need to be responsible to participate and do the footwork needed to manage life and we need know that life is not always easy. Life is not as quick as technology can be and sometimes we simply need to live it. It can take time. Thank you for reading. Be well today.

I can remember a long long time ago I had said to a psychiatrist that I thought that I needed to go into a 28 day rehab in order to stay off of pot. He told that I would still have to say no when I finished the program. At that time I did not realize how true those words of wisdom really are.

Today I know that the only true way to stay off of pot is that if you do not take that first puff it is a guarantee that you will not get high. For the genius who thinks that you can still eat it that is true so just don’t take that first bite and for the even smarter addict just do not ingest it in any way or any form and you won’t get high. That includes breathing in second hand smoke or absorbing it through the pores or any other manner. In other words don’t get high and you will not get high.

Now if you want to stay off of pot a rehab program will help. Twelve step fellowships, professional supports, and faith in the God of your understanding will solidify your recovery one day at a time.

In my understanding of God I find Grace and Grace is good enough. I try and surrender my substance addictions, which include pot, to the care of my God and my God is big enough to give me Grace if I put it in God’s care and don’t take it back. I have lost the obsession to use. Just for today I try to face life on life’s terms.

Life has not always been easy for me in my recovery. There has been heartache, family crises, mental health crises and relapses with hospitalizations with one episode leading to adverse reactions to medications leading to an overdose on medication and then to stabilization on a different anti-psychotic medication.

Regardless of the difficulties in my recovery I have had many joys in my recovery and I have had a number of successful dreams come true. I have had decent relationships and I have contributed in life and to my communities and some small ways. I have also tried to help people in this continuing journey of not smoking pot or drinking in many one day one day one days after another.

Today I know I have this one day – this moment. Many, many people have helped me in my recovery. Many people have helped me in my life. God as I understand God to be has helped and this is Grace and Grace is enough. Thank you for reading. Be well today.