Many people living in one day at a time recovery know the reality of being justifying pain-hoarders. Our reality is that our egos just love this. We aren’t saying that our pain can’t be validated. What we are saying is we if we don’t know how to let go we will end up being caught up in a cycle of resentment and ill-will towards others. We acknowledge that we have been hurt but we make the choice to live for this day and we forgive. When we do there is a good chance our pain-hoarding will stop. We allow ourselves to become unstuck knowing whole-heartedly that resentments are joy killers. When we do we will see that when we let go we are free from the chains of ill-will and resentment and we discover that our lives are so much better. We now understand what grace is all about. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery understand that when they first become abstinent they do so with a little bit of knowledge. That knowledge is that with the help of others and if we don’t pick up that first drink, puff, snort, or hit things are more that likely going to work out for us. It sounds kind of simple but it isn’t and it is. This is how early recovery happens and we often do so in the rooms of recovery. We often learned that we reached out for help because we were in trouble. Years later we will see that our desperation brought us the gift of desperation which made it possible for us to live happy, joyous, and free lives. This little bit of knowledge saves our lives and it bears with it new horizons. Pay attention and enjoy them. Peace.
Most people living in one day at a time recovery know that we are not perfect people. This revelation comes to all of us who no longer hide behind the veil of our own innocence. This innocence is not a reality that many non-recovering people can easily understand. Our beings were altered early on in our lives and kept us from grabbing on to the realities of our own imperfections. Our fearful egos made this so but after a bit of time in recovery we got to see our flaws, character defects and our short-comings. Reality and humility hit us all at once. We became humble people who turned to prayer to help us deal with our flaws. We soon realized we didn’t have to always be in control. Recovery brings us to humility which is a wonderful thing. We learn to embrace the gift of imperfection. We learn to embrace life. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery understand the reality of trying to climb a ladder without rungs. When we do this we are the people who come into the rooms of recovery refusing to take direction from others who have experience in recovery and have a good handle on how to live life one day at a time and could probably help us with the experience they have gained while they have lived decades in abstinence. If we are not teachable we will probably never learn. This is especially true in regards to 12 step recovery. Without working the 12 steps we will probably struggle far more than those who take direction from people with the experience in working the steps. What we have learned is the 12 steps are the rungs of the ladder. They are an easier softer way. Please pay attention. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery understand that not everyone likes us. Our best response is to simply accept this. There is no need for a well thought out speech in which we can state how good we are as people living in one day at a time recovery or how much we have changed for the better but we can accept that some people just don’t like us. Our knowledge tells us our lives are founded in the reality of grace. We cannot control what others feel nor can we say what’s not to love. We might have even awakened by leaps and bounds but perhaps this is not for others to know. After all – do we like everyone we know? If we are honest the answer is probably no. We are here to love and respect others. It’s just plain decency. Be nice. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery know about enjoying that first cup of coffee on an easy-going and joyful morning. Sometimes that first sip is so good that we beam inside and a smile comes to our face. These are special times that we often experience when we are the first ones up or if we do live alone it can honestly and truly be a grand time anyways. The word grand seems like a bit of a stretch for a morning coffee but it isn’t. It’s the regular and simple things that make us happy. Reality is good. What else can we say. Peace.
Most people who are living in one day at a time recovery know that you can’t just google recovery. We can argue that we can discover many excellent speakers versed well in recovery topics and that we can read quite a bit of information about living in recovery but it is not the same as in-person support, in-person wisdom, and in-person hugs and handshakes. What we are saying is that google cannot empathize with us or feel with us the reality of in-person settings. Google cannot read our cues or smile with us when we experience milestones, miracles, or joy. What we are saying is that we all need that human touch. It’s just the way it is. And google cannot give us grace. It’s a big help but human growth is done with human beings. You can’t JUST google recovery. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery know the reality of when resentments come a knocking. The demands of an over-sensitive and narcissistic ego can be easily slighted. Especially when it is not always the center of attention. Those of us who journal can uncover that our-self-centered woes come bearing a supposed heavy load that we need not carry especially when we see we were not being slighted at all. Oh the ego is a funny thing isn’t it. It becomes upset because the damn thing thinks it is important. As a matter of fact it thinks of itself so highly that it becomes too important. A bit of humility teaches us to let go when resentments come a knocking. Even when we are slighted. Letting go sets us free. One day at a time we grow. It’s a better reality. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery know that many good and well-meaning people don’t understand the reality of our disorders. Often they will say that we just have to say no. We understand this and if it was just that easy we would agree with them. Our reality though is that we absolutely have to say no to just that first one one day at a time. This is a little different from just saying no and is the reason why most people don’t understand our reality. They might think we are just weak. We know we are people living with an illness and that we are always just an arm’s length away from picking up. Staying vigilant and surrendering to the reality that we cannot pick up that first one one day at a time is of paramount importance. Our lives depend on it. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery understand the reality of being denied participation in the belonging of communities because we lack the wisdom or the no how to do so. It is not a put down or an all out rejection of our being. It is the reality of divides which we cannot build bridges over simply because that’s the way it is. It can be like this in the rooms of recovery too. How can we add anything to a conversation about recovery when we continue slip in and out of abstinence simply because we are not there yet. We are not denying you participation. We just need you to listen a little bit. That’s how we participate at at first. We must listen. We hear you. You always belong and it will be okay. In time you’ll understand. We love you. Peace.