Those of us living in one day at a time recovery often see that we are living a life of unwavering reality. This unwavering reality is that we are human beings. We are human beings who live in a life of constant change but in all reality no matter how much things change we will always need the reality of human connection, human concern, and human companionship. Another constant is we need to experience love from the other. If we do not know who or what the other is, it is our reality of God, the spirit, the energy, or the universe in whom we are inextricably connected with all things and with all people. We learn we are a part of and not a part from. Many will be greater than us but we will be less than none. Perhaps this is the reality of divine love or perhaps it is just an unwavering reality which in its reality ask us to show love, mercy, compassion, and grace to those we share our lives or our beings with. Reality never wavers. It’s a gift.
Often those of us who live in one day at a time recovery who reach out to share our experiences and limited knowledge of navigating life in regards to living with mental health disorders and addiction know perhaps one thing and perhaps one thing only. What we know is we are living reasonable and reasonably happy lives as we navigate the reality of the wilderness. With every step that we take we know and understand that we have been marking our trails as guide posts for others, and as we venture about we will find that others who entered the wilderness before us will mark their trails leading to small villages where those who have came before us have set up have set up homes in which we are welcomed to visit, gain and share experience and knowledge in order that we can experience the true reality of grace found in the wild. We were told that not only did we mark our trails for others, we marked our trails so that we could find our way back out of the wild should we become lost. Those living in villages told us that going back out of the wilderness is important. We all need to do this at times. It’s part of our journey. The wilderness has taught us that we are inextricably connected to the other. Though we might not know why, we do need to go back out of the wild. We sometimes think we are doing this to live in synchronicity with the oneness of the other. We are starting to experience the reality of giving grace to ourselves. We are allowed to come out the wild and no longer be students or teachers. We become people. What else would we be?
One of the realities of living in one day at a time recovery is sometimes it rains. Our hope is that even though the rain falls things will still remain fundamentally okay. When there is too much rain we might think that this really sucks. We would do well to remember that just because the rain might suck it doesn’t mean that life sucks. We need to remember this and also realize that we can sometimes be inclined to think that everything is all or nothing. Life is not always that way. In reality, it seldom is. We might even choose to put on some rain gear and go for a walk in the rain. It helps. Peace.
The reality of being a person living in one day at a time recovery is that there are periods of our lives when we can live as people experiencing a frustrating aloneness. Such aloneness can happen to people living with mental health disorders and addictions. Even though we know that we live with an inextricable connection to other recovering people, and we know that we get to experience wellness, in all reality frustrating aloneness will shred away at the reality of our connection with what we get to understand as the other. It is a self-perpetuating disorder that reinforces the frustration of aloneness perpetuating the illusion of the aloneness of the self. Frustrating aloneness is one of the reoccurring adversities of living with any mental health disorder. Some of us wonder if our propensity to become addicts is our attempt to cope with our pains, our frustrations, and our already conceived aloneness. Some of us experience that living in one day at a time recovery makes life doable. We learn to reach out. Our views change. Our feelings of aloneness become our connection with others. We get to experience the reality of freedom and freedom of choice. We get to experience a reality in which we get to thrive and be happy. Reality becomes a gift. Peace.
Many of us living in one day at a time recovery understand that our egos can be very sensitive at times when we feel as though someone else’s differing knowledge or differing opinion is a challenge to its standing in some kind of self-imagined hierarchy of being. At times when we feel we are being challenged we feel as though we are being disrespected. If we can calm our egos maybe we will be able to understand that differing knowledge or differing opinions can be useful for others because our own knowledge or our own opinions might not work for others 100 % of the time. We will learn either quickly, or sometimes slowly, that we all have our limitations. This is an important reality that we need to understand. What is right for one can be wrong for another. It’s simply reality. Experience, and humility, teaches us this one day at a time. It’s part of the process. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery understand the reality which is as we judge other people we can often live in error. While we do as such we are often passing judgement as people who believe we have the authority and the ability to do as such. Often we ask ourselves if we have the righteousness to do so. In truth and in reality we know that few people do. What many of us try to do, even when wronged, is we try to act with grace and kindness. The simple fact that acting with grace and kindness can be difficult for us reveals to us the reality that should we judge people we often live in error. Some of our judgements bring us quick to anger and in becoming so we can become spiteful people. Most of us do not want to live the lives of bitter and resentful people. It takes many of us some time in one day at a time recovery to act with grace and kindness. It’s reality. None the less reality teaches us to act with grace and kindness. We can also call such an act forgiveness and mercy. They are gifts. Peace.
What people living in one day at a time recovery get to understand is that we all have our moments of peace and contentment. We even get to experience extended periods of being on the beam. For some of us a joyful and peaceful life is a life in which we usually feel pretty good and pretty good is good enough. Reality is welcomed but the funny thing is reality is usually work. What we have discovered is we are constantly reviewing our thoughts, actions and non-actions. Often as we review such endeavors we find that we often humbly measure up to our responsibilities. We think to ourselves that we are good people aren’t we. If we are humble we know we are people who when given the chance rose to the occasion at times. Realistically though we need not let it go to our heads. In reality we did what was required of us at a certain period, or at such a moment. Nonetheless it’s okay to feel good about ourselves for rising to the occasion. We might even feel grateful. Another reality is we don’t always rise to the occasion. When this happens we realize life, reality, and recovery are work. We might even have lost an opportunity to help someone. This happens on more than one occasion. We know that in our non-actions that we are imperfect. It’s another part of working at reality, life, and one day at a time recovery. We know we will never be perfect but we also know we have moments when we rise to occasion and we can enjoy the joy that it brings to others and ourselves. Rising to the occasion is a gift of reality. We are welcomed into the world of grace. Appreciate it.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery live what can be known as an experienced life. We had the opportunity to experience the good and the bad and we can say that sometimes the good was really good and sometimes the bad was really bad. With such experience we should have learned to be non-judgemental people because for most of us judgement without grace or mercy is a self-righteous endeavor. What many of us believe is that we are no better or no worse than any other person. It’s the whole idea of not casting the first stone. We all need a little grace and mercy sometimes, even while in recovery. We all know that there are no saints amongst us. When we learn this we get to understand we are not living victoriously in spiritual warfare. What we are learning is that we are just people, sometimes broken people who have surrendered to the idea that we are to remain totally abstinent from taking that first one and this requires petitioning for and accepting the help from those we are akin with and from what some of us call God, the spirit, or the universe. At times we have been rescued by divine intervention. We know this. We are recipients of the love, grace, and mercy of the other. We often call this a God thing. We understand that our life experience gives us the ability to help others. We drop our self-righteous stones and lend a hand. Ten, twenty, or thirty years are not that long ago. Peace.
Some people living in one day at a time recovery sometimes wonder are we really carrying a message of recovery to other people who might have heard our stories or read our written ramblings? Well maybe yes, and maybe no. It all depends upon who is listening. And it all depends on what our message is. Those who carry the message of 12 step recovery have helped many of us. Their faith in a higher power and their working experience of the 12 steps help us to understand that if we get abstinent and faithfully follow the workings of the steps we have the hope and the chance of being happy, joyous, and free people. Many of them regard being responsible, productive people in high regard. Many of them had hit bottom and so choose not to do so again. What they do works for many people. As with all people living their recovery one day at a time we need to remember that these messengers were broken people who with the help of a higher power, and with the help of each other climbed out of the abyss and received hope and freedom from active addiction. What we might relate to in their message is bottoming out and living unmanageable lives. We too learn to reach out. We too can learn to find freedom from active addiction and we too can find one day at a time recovery. What we learn is as messengers we are just people. Broken people who have found recovery. You can too. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery live and imagine the realities of our journeys. What we understand is that we create our worlds in our own minds. At least we imagine we do. Living in our recovery we learn that there are many unforeseen and unexpected events that occur during our journeys and it is up to us to discover (imagine) and practice (live) such journeys with the hopes and perhaps even the expectations that we shall strive and thrive as children of God, the spirit or the universe in such ways that living in recovery is always within our grasp. No matter what, we shall live okay and doable lives. Once we have made that commitment to recovery, and we live and imagine such realities, we shall forever remember what freedom is. It is the essential and living choice to love. The kindness of others reveals this to us. Even in tragedy one day at a time we are free. In addition to this we shall experience happiness and joy. We shall understand empathy and concern for others. We shall receive and give grace. And last but not least we shall be touched with the ability to see, feel, and know that we are inextricably connected to the other. Those we are akin with are our reality. We have experienced too much to believe otherwise. Peace.