Before recovery, humiliation was something we thought meant the same as humility. Frequently ashamed of behaviours, using addicts see themselves in as negative a light as most of society sees them. Maybe for a time, the addict thinks they are “cool” because they are users, standing outside the mainstream of society, radicals who know something that all those straight people have missed out on. As the shame and degradation become more and more apparent in the addict’s life, however, the voice of condemnation eventually becomes louder. The alternatives are to use more in hopes of shutting out that voice or, if you can hear the message of recovery, seek a new way to live. When the addict first seeks recovery, chances are they carry a great deal of shame. When the word “humility” comes up, they hear “humiliation”. Eventually, though, as recovery builds in the life of the addict, they come to see that true humility is recognizing that we all have flaws and have done many things of which we are ashamed but that, at the same time, we have good qualities that we can be proud of and that we can use to help us rebuild lives. Eventually, we see that humility involves acknowledging our flaws even as we embrace the things we are discovering about ourselves of which we can be proud. We’ll never be perfect, but that’s okay. One day at a time, we’ll continue our quest to be better.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery believe in first hand knowledge. We might have difficulty taking advice from someone who hasn’t lived with our disorders. Sometimes these views are valid. Sometimes these views are absurd. Often ego makes it so that we can have difficulty in trusting direction from others who haven’t lived our experience. Just because we bullshitted a therapist it doesn’t mean a therapist couldn’t adequately help us, and that they failed us. It means we conned ourselves out of a possibility of being helped. Our reality is if we want to live in recovery we have to be responsible. Especially for our own recovery. We need to understand that the so called normal people can give us direction to help us cope with our disorders and to live in one day at a time recovery. Another reality is when we have been in recovery for a while we know when our ego is being an ego and our minds do open up a bit. It’s either a big step step in trust or we are first-handedly experiencing the gift of desperation. We’ll know which it is. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery learn to trust their own judgement. This happens when we trust our recovery. Although we might struggle at times, we know the reality of our lives. What we should know is people without learned experience truthfully have no leg to stand on when they criticize our recovery. Our reality is that they will, and they do, because they don’t know any better. We learn to let it go though difficult as it might be. When we trust our recovery we know we are capable and valuable human beings, and as capable and valuable people we know when we need help. When we trust our recovery we know who we can ask for help. When we trust our recovery we know the reality of our lives and that we will grow in recovery. We also become fairly self-aware. Peace.
Many people who are living in one day at a time recovery write gratitude lists. Often we do this when we are depleted of, or struggling to find joy. Sometimes we do this when adversities are kicking at our doors. We also write gratitude lists when we don’t want to give ourselves, others, or life in general a break. Difficult times happen to all of us. Gratitude lists are important. In truth a gratitude list is a written celebration of life. During struggles we need to search for, write down, see and acknowledge the good things in our lives. Our reality is if we are living in recovery, we have being in recovery to be grateful for. If we are living in recovery our mental health is good. Write that down. Read it and acknowledge it. If you are living in recovery and you are having a difficult time, and you know it’s a difficult time that will end, write it down, read it and acknowledge it. These are all gifts of being in recovery. There are many many other things to be grateful for. Search for them and write them down. Read them and acknowledge them. When we read these gratitude lists when we are doing well we will really see they are a written celebration that life brings us much joy. People living in recovery know this. Peace.