When we talk about recovery from addiction, a key concept is willingness. Ask yourself, what was I willing to do to get that drug? Drive in a snowstorm to somewhere miles away in hopes that you might be able to score? Call everyone and anyone you know who might have a line on where you might find what you’re looking for? If you’re an addict like me, you know what I’m talking about. Now take that same quality and apply it to your recovery. How far are you willing to go to find a new way to live? What are the “yea, buts” that get in the way of your recovery? You know, “YEA, I want to recover BUT you can’t expect me to do that!” Are you willing to commit to making as many meetings as it takes to get a handle on the basics of recovery? Are you willing to take a risk and ask someone to be your sponsor? Are you willing to give up the people, places and things that were a central part of your using life? Taken all at once, such questions can seem overwhelming but we don’t have to do it all at once. We work, one day at a time, to become willing to do the things that can return us to life and give us a chance to escape the misery of addiction. If we can can become willing, the rest will follow.
Many people who are living life one day at a time will admit that they found recovery after a crisis. More often than not this crisis forced a hospitalization upon us, or perhaps a trip to a detox center. Many of us found ourselves broke, beaten and dismayed. In such a state, we found inadvertent recovery. We had thought someone would save us but we were soon to understand that we were being helped enough to know that we were to be responsible for ourselves. Many detox centers and many hospitals allow 12 step programs to put on meetings in their facilities. Some of us went to such meetings discovering the phrase “one day at a time”. Some of us thought that we too could live in recovery “one day at a time”. When we discovered that we had options we inadvertently realized that we too could live manageable and healthy lives. Some of us believed we had discovered a kinship with these people. We were receiving the gift of desperation without even knowing it. Our reality is we need to participate in our recovery whether we choose to be a member of this kinship or not. One day at a time living is a universal way of life. When we meet the reality of being a part of recovery we start to realize we can be well. We lose some of the aloneness that has plagued us. We reach out and we experience life. When we do we give back. One day at a time. Peace.
And his world cried like suicide
Being lost so much insane
A sunny day of drinks and tokes
Then coming down like cruel cold rain
For reality does not exist
Within the tears of someone else
Being lost so lost in emptiness
All this emptiness still felt.
So he shakes his head and says a prayer
For all the pains of yesterday
And the night sweats and the morning fear
Within the cruel cold light of day
And the headaches and the trembling hands
He sees a hole punched in a wall
For the booze it took him to its lands
And he felt so very small.
And freezing rain breaks weary limbs
That grow on strong dead trees
So saddened like remorseful hymns
With a pain that no-one sees
And a hapless anguish breaks his heart
So engulfed in darkened night
He surrenders with his tears of dread
Screaming God I lost the fight.
And he drifts off in a moment real
Where much nothingness does matter
And he wakes up in the light of day
With its noise of constant clatter
While he knows he cannot change what is
And he knows exactly why
And the coming down like cruel cold rain
With the tears he often cries.
And strong dead trees just will not bend
But eventually they break
For he’s caged by pain that no-one sees
Such a lonely silent ache
But perhaps a sudden flash of light
Will dry the tears that fall
But now he coasts in search of hope
But he’s sort of blind like Saul.
Saint Paul or Saul he’ll never be
He’s a broken strong dead tree
Just a strong dead tree that broke in two
That he saw eventually
But in his strength there was a weakness
And in his weakness he was strong
And he knows it took so many years
That passed quick but took so long.
And the stars shall shine within the sky
And the rain shall often dance
And a broken strong dead tree shall pray
And be given one more chance
And betwixt beyond and up and down
Behold and hold on tight
And he knows it took so many years
And it’s grace that makes it right.
And broken strong dead trees shall fade
Into flowers that shall grow
While the bees shall simply pollenate
And new life shall simply grow
For it simply is a twist in life
That this world is forgiving
For a broken strong dead tree is gone
And has found a world of living.
And living has its ups and downs
While a strong new tree has grown
As nature changes like the tides
Where the bees had often flown
And in his life he was reborn
And in his life he sees
A sunrise and a pleasant morn
And the tears that set him free.
Though his anger screams in cold stone rage
He’s a frightened child who weeps
And silence shreds and scars his heart
So much it hides and sleeps
While music soothes the beast inside
The madness walks to mourn
And ragged is his leather coat
With its lining worn and torn.
An aging tired man in pain
Still smiles loves and needs
He fears and sleeps the troubled sleep
And shakes and sweats and bleeds
Embracing love believing hope
At times he curses all
He touches heaven walks through hell
And falls and falls to fall.
To fall in Paradise he smiles
To serve and rise in peace
Perhaps the tears and fears shall die
With the chains that shall release
The human heart the human soul
And twice his dreams are born
With the splendor of a leather coat
With its lining worn and torn.
And living has its ups and downs
While a strong new tree has grown
And nature changes like the tides
Where the bees had often flown
And in his life he was reborn
And in his life he sees
A sunrise and a pleasant morn
And the tears that set him free.
And his world cried like suicide
Being lost so much insane
A sunny day of drinks and tokes
Then coming down like cruel cold rain
For reality does not exist
Within the tears of someone else
Being lost so lost in emptiness
All this emptiness still felt.
To fall to fall in Paradise
To serve and rise in peace
Perhaps the tears and fears shall die
With the chains that shall release
The human heart the human soul
And twice his dreams are born
And the splendor of a leather coat
With its ling worn and torn.
Those of us who live in one day at a time recovery know that recovery doesn’t just happen without work. Many of us create it. It becomes the adventure that one day at a time living makes for us. We can find this journey is simple, and we often have good days. We also have good weeks, good months, and good years. This is the reality of one day at a time recovery. We will often find that throughout these good times we can experience difficulties and adversities. Often we find that when we were creating our recovery, we now have a network of supportive people we can turn to in difficult times. These people can be natural supports. Also we know when we need to seek out professional supports. With such supports we are able to deal with such adversities that seem to be simple problems that were just interspersed struggles. They don’t seem to last as long as they did when we were not in one day at a time recovery. When we realize this we are doing well. At such a time we realize that we didn’t create our recovery by ourselves. Others helped. We were people who were ill and who then became well. Also we know we made an effort to become so. We were people who had hit a low point, and because of it we received the gift of desperation. In doing so, we were offered a life of one day at a time living. God, the spirit or the universe is on our side. He, she, or they are our friend. Remember this. Peace.
People new to one day at a time recovery are often aspiring to catch the rain. When we are there (then), every tear that we had shed and every fear that we had felt would end soon because now we had it all together. After all isn’t that what one day at a time recovery is all about. We also believed our new found recovery would mend all the wrongs we had done. We believed we were pinnacles of recovery who could save so many others from their own despair. Today we realize we were just trying to catch the rain. Now that we have a bit more experience with recovery, we know to come in out of the rain instead of trying to catch it. And the rain will fall. Have no doubt. The tears will be less, and the fears have to be challenged. In all reality we learn to live with, and through them. We will try and mend the wrongs we have done (sometimes we will and sometimes we can’t). As for being pinnacles of recovery, we are doing much better, but most of us aren’t role models. We too can fall. Another reality is even though we are doing much better, no-one has it all together all the time. One day at a time becomes a beautiful journey, and very often we experience the happy, joyous and free that people experience. We now know when to take shelter, and in knowing this we are aware of the grace that we have had, and are now receiving. God, the spirit, or the Universe is our friend. Illusions fade. This is what one day at a time recovery is all about. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery do not like the noise they find when they are alone. Some of us will put on a radio to drown out the noise in our own heads. Sometimes we put on the television. We might even put them on in more than one room. Some of us will scroll our phones or our computers. Some of us will play our play list on other electronic devices. We do so in hopes that something will catch our attention keeping us engaged for a while. Some of us will notice we did so without speaking, and the noise in our heads had ceased for a bit. In addition to these methods of stopping the noise some of us read, write, or become involved in creative activities. These are all forms of quiet resistance. In all reality this quiet resistance keeps us involved, engaged and attached to activity coming from outside the mind. When the noise is quiet enough for us to be mindful during these moments of quiet resistance, usually we will find these activities pleasant and worthwhile. When we learn to be aware enough to appreciate these mindful activities, we will be able to do it in forms of contemplation in our own backyards, the forest, or an urban park. In such settings we will also find the calm. Quiet resistance is a tool of recovery. At times we will find that we experience the gift of being in awe. We’re not being foolish. Sometimes the noise can be brutal. We all deserve a break. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery live in the present day. Living in the present day does not mean we cannot plant the garden of tomorrow. The reason we plant the garden of tomorrow this present day is because its harvest is a necessity for tomorrow. We know we must eat. It is the brave souls among us who buy the seed and ready the soil. When the soil is readied at the right time of the spring, the seed is planted. The brave souls among us know how to weed and water the garden. They know what pesticides to spray the garden with, and they know how to harvest the crop. These brave souls also know how to preserve and store the bounty. They also now how to bring the crop to market. One day at a time the garden of tomorrow is the garden of today. The brave souls who did all this had hope for tomorrow. Always they lived in today. We can too. Give thanks. It’s important. Someone or something made the earth, the seed, the water, and the planter. Peace.
People living in one day at a time recovery know having boundaries is a good thing. Even though having boundaries is important, many of us have to be reminded of this. We must tell ourselves that boundaries are okay. Seriously! Many of us are too kind hearted or too afraid to say no. Guilt, fear, and unbridled generosity are recipes for making people pleasers. People pleasers are not happy people. The kind hearted people who are afraid to say no will eventually learn that sometimes the kind thing to do is to say no. Saying no can help people to be responsible, healthy individuals. When a person understands personal responsibility, they understand how to be a part of one day at a time recovering people. When we understand this we comprehend that truly we belong. Having boundaries doesn’t mean that we can’t be kind and helpful people. When we understand this we become happier and healthier people. Most of us strive to find this balance. We need to keep consistency and purpose in our recovery. What most of us discover is that when we learn to set boundaries, we become much more generous individuals. Not only to others but also to ourselves. When we do we become far less resentful, and we become at peace with our decisions. Remember this. It’s important. Peace.
People living in one day at a time recovery live humble lives. In all honesty we find life to be a humble adventure. This is the reality of one day at a time recovery. What we have discovered while on this humble adventure is that we don’t know everything. In all our humility, understanding that we don’t know everything is the foundation of everything we know. What we have learned is the reality of equality. We are no better, or no worse, than any other human being. This is humble belonging. What we do understand is our one day at a time recovery is like a rose. It’s a beautiful thing but it also has thorns. What some of us come to understand is how important maintaining our recovery is. We understand that we are to give our recovery away. When we are giving away our recovery, we are participating in keeping ourselves healthy, humble and real. In doing so, we are actually helping people. We live responsible lives. Doing so is simple but it isn’t always easy. Humble people know this. We learn to reach out when needed. We know the rose has its thorns. In all reality this humble adventure has much joy in it. Relish it and share it with others when you can. Peace.
People who are living in one day at a time recovery change. In all honesty we become healthier to the point that we are different beings. It takes time for the changes to take place, and in all honesty recovering people won’t see the changes first. Others notice them before we do. It’s not what we say that make others notice. It’s in what we do, or do not do, that others see. In all honesty, often when we are healthier, our very being changes into responsible people who others can depend on, and get along with. Although life still can be difficult we can adapt, adjust, and do well regardless of our disorders. When these changes takes place, we too will notice them. Why? It’s not because of what we say. It’s because of what we do, or do not do, and because of the development of our very being. We will develop a sense of belonging when we find our niche, and grow a little day by day, one step at a time. When we do, we will be aware of our character flaws and our short-comings. They might change or disappear. Some call this growth. We call it grace. In all reality we become different human beings. Peace.