Connecting with other people is important for our mental health and our well being as people. I know that some of us might be introverts but that does not mean that we don’t connect with others. There are times that as we are connecting with others that we help both those we are connecting with as well as ourselves. Some call this give and take. Some of us call it friendship. Some call this survival. The experiences of connection let us know that we are not alone and that we are enough. We get through the days, both good and bad, and we stay sober one day at a time. One friend reminded me the other night that one day – one day – one day – can lead to many years of contented sobriety. Another friend reminded me that life can be hard at times. Both of these people have been a big help to me in my years of recovery. Connection really helps.
Around the end of January – February it is a blues time of the year in the area I live (New Brunswick, Canada). A snowstorm has a way of sucking the energy right out of a person. These days feel just like blah.
I have shoveled my driveway and I walked down to shovel the steps of the church I belong to. There is not much to do on a day like this. I did a bunch of housework and I am passing time away writing a blog.
There is no desire in me to get a buzz or wasted. I feel lucky for that. There was a day I would be trying to figure out how I was going to get some pot. If there was someone to get drunk with, while smoking pot, it would be all the better.
Today I know getting out of it would just defeat the purpose. I have heard it said that as soon as a person like me starts to get into the booze the booze would say, “I am going to take you by the hand and you’re going to go where I want you to go and you will do what I tell you to do.” Pot does the same thing to me too.
The plan is to ride out the storm. Just for this day. Perhaps I will make a few calls to some friends. I know to live my recovery one day at a time. Thank you.
I believe that many people who live with mental illness and addiction have struggles in their lives. We can face this adversity and we can be well one day at a time.
I choose to stay clean and sober one day at a time and I try to monitor my thought process while doing so. In addition to this I try and be aware of the moods I am experiencing on a regular basis.
One of the things I watch for is vagrant thoughts. In this awareness, one pattern of thinking I see is self-righteous thinking. I have been told by a friend that I am no better or no worse than anyone else. Another friend added – just as good as. I have no reason to feel I have all the answers to recovery.
I have been reasonably well and reasonably happy for many years. I have not drank alcohol or smoked dope for all thirty of them. I have had my struggles and have been unwell throughout some of these difficulties but I keep living my recovery one day at a time.
I do not have all the answer to recovery and I am not so foolish as to think that I do. I have had a lot of support from people over the years.
I also know that medication is a main tool of my recovery. I take it as prescribed. This is my choice because I do not want to be ill. And I choose to stay connected with other people in give and take relations ships. They are my family and friends. I also stay connected with others who can help and I try to connect with those I can help.
So when I need I take a deep breath. I stay clean and sober one day at a time and often I pray. Help, thanks, and wow. I am responsible for my recovery and in this responsibility I know I am not alone. I hope you know that you do not have to do this alone. Be well today. Thanks for reading.
Is it the lack of control of our lives that increase bouts of depression, anxiety, anger, guilt, aloneness and shame? Do these emotions bring us to the despair of suicidal ideology? Do we become captive to these sequential thoughts?
This aloneness, this damned aloneness, fuels the fires of the despair of self.
We feel so alone that we cannot see even a dim flicker of hope in this dark tunnel we are in.
This dark tunnel had no opening but once we are on this dim road of depression we believe that a horrible grasp of ill will is smothering us just as sure as there was someone holding a pillow over our face. We gasp for breath like a person who is drowning.
The noises in our heads begin to wear us down. It tells us we deserve this. In some twisted way we start to accept this and we start to believe there is no way out.
Some of us try to hide from these emotions by escaping as much as we can. Booze, pot, sex… They work for a while and we don’t see we are carving our premature death date on our tomb stone.
“HERE LIES A TROUBLED SOUL”
Most people can’t understand this but we do.
Some of us have cried out God help me but we feel like we’re on God’s shit list. Maybe, just maybe, God is on our shit list. What is God anyways.
But we hear people say “We’ve been there.” And guess what – we still go there today but not as often and not as bad.
We have walked the thin line that turned into a foot path. For most of us it turned into a side-walk that we walk one step at a time. Some times two steps forward and one step back.
We know the bullies, the jerks, ands the mean people. Hell! There were times that we were them.
But now, this moment, this hour, this day, we know we are loved. We are a kin.
And we know that we are loved for we have learned to love ourselves. We have befriended ourselves.
When those thoughts come that want us to die – those thoughts that come when we want to die we say no. We say “NO” “I AM ENOUGH”. Though of us who have been there know life can be good. We need to reach out for help.
Maybe someday, somebody will need you to say, “I know you. YOU ARE ENOUGH”
We’ve been there and We know you, “YOU ARE ENOUGH”
If you are suicidal, feel like harming yourself or anyone else in any way, call your local mental health clinic or local help-line and/or if this is an emergency please call 911 or your local emergency number. You don’t have to face this alone.
We all face a new beginning every morning when we wake. A friend of mine has told me that we don’t just wake up. He tells me that we are awakened. This idea is becoming more apparent to me every day. Each day is a new beginning.
Please don’t get me wrong. I do understand the dilemma of every day being groundhog day. These are the days that we just can’t get out of the funk, the stress, or the depression that we are in. It is my experience that drinking alcohol or smoking dope doesn’t help either.
I believe that we are meant to connect with other people. I also believe that we go through difficult times and I try to take my life, and my recovery just one day at a time. There is work to do in staying well.
Many people ask for help in prayer and begin their lives putting one foot in front of the other.
Therefore we begin the day with a new beginning. The day might be routine, or the day might be a difficult or challenging task. But every awakening is a new beginning.
I have a friend who reminds me that the bad days will pass. So will the good ones. For the better part when we can get out of the troubles and unhealthy obsessions in our minds we will understand. We see the new beginning.
What do we do in our down time? Do we even know what down time is?
For me, down time is a period between projects. I found myself lacking energy and motivation between finishing an e-book and then publishing it on this website. My blogging had suffered quite a bit during this period.
What I do know is that if I have had picked up a drink or a puff during this period my disorders would have been off to the races and running. Good health would have been left far behind and sickness would have been way out in front. It is way easier to stay in recovery than to have to find a way back into it. Especially if obsession and compulsion come back.
I just do the little things. One day at a time living. Taking meds as prescribed. Eating right and sleeping good. Relying on recovery supports. Staying away from people who use and drink. This is just plain smart living.
Down time can be managed and you just keep living one day at a time. It is important to do the regular things. It is important to be a support to those you can help and also to turn to people who can be supportive to you.
Being healthy can be difficult. Life seems to go that way sometimes.
Today, this just one day, we can be ok. We just need to make the choice. If you can help someone do it. This is the gift of recovery which is given to us. Be well today.
Is it the lack of control of our lives that increase bouts of depression, anxiety, anger, guilt, aloneness and shame? Do these emotions bring us to the despair of suicidal ideology? Do we become captive to these sequential thoughts?
This aloneness, this damned aloneness, fuels the fires of the despair of self.
We feel so alone that we cannot see even a dim flicker of hope in this dark tunnel we are in.
This dark tunnel had no opening but once we are on this dim road of depression we believe that a horrible grasp of ill will is smothering us just as sure as there was someone holding a pillow over our face. We gasp for breath like a person who is drowning.
The noises in our heads begin to wear us down. It tells us we deserve this. In some twisted way we start to accept this and we start to believe there is no way out.
Some of us try to hide from these emotions by escaping as much as we can. Booze, pot, sex… They work for a while and we don’t see we are carving our premature death date on our tomb stone.
“HERE LIES A TROUBLED SOUL”
Most people cant understand this but we do.
Some of us have cried out God help me but we feel like we’re on God’s shit list. Maybe, just maybe, God is on our shit list. What is God anyways.
But we hear people say “We’ve been there.” And guess what – we still go there today but not as often and not as bad.
We have walked the thin line that turned into a foot path. For most of us it turned into a side-walk that we walk one step at a time. Some times two steps forward and one step back.
We know the bullies, the jerks, ands the mean people. Hell! There were times that we were them.
But now, this moment, this hour, this day, we know we are loved. We are a kin.
And we know that we are loved for we have learned to love ourselves. We have befriended ourselves.
When those thoughts come that want us to die – those thoughts that come when we want to die we say no. We say “NO”
“I AM ENOUGH”.
Maybe someday, somebody will need you to say, “I know you. YOU ARE ENOUGH”
We’ve been there and We know you, “YOU ARE ENOUGH”
After we have a bit of a grip on our health by being clean and sober for a while and also settling into comfortable wellness with our mental health condition we might start to look at one day at a time recovery as experiencing a puzzle being put together one piece at a time.
We begin to grow physically, mentally, and spiritually. In this growth we begin to be responsible and we begin to know how to care for others and ourselves. In this growth we learn that we need to set boundaries on ourselves.
One of the things I have learned is not to go into a pub by myself to have a coffee. I am going to share a few reasons for this that I have discovered as I slowly stepped out of the I am I used to think I was in regards to recovery.
I know that when I am sitting in a pub by myself, with a coffee mug in my hand that there is probably a chance that someone there could notice that it is not a bottle or a glass that is sitting on my table. Everyone else is usually drinking beer or liquor. Someone catching a buzz might think that I need a drink. As a matter of fact they might think that I need a real drink. They might even insist that I need a drink. If I say no thanks they might think that I am being unsociable. As a matter of fact they might argumentatively insist that I have a real drink. It can happen. A similar thing happened to me at a party but I had a way out.
Now to get back at being at a pub – If I am sitting down with another having a meal I will probably sit there unnoticed. Especially if I am drinking soda or water in a glass. If I am sober driving for others I have an acceptable excuse for not drinking to most people catching a buzz. Nonetheless if I am there I believe that I should have a good supportive person with me and I also need to be able to leave when it becomes too difficult for me to comfortable. And also in reality I simply should not be at a pub by myself because my I am might just convince me that I can have just one. In other words I don’t want to be in a pub drinking coffee by myself because it is too frigging dangerous. I have tried it.
It isn’t the fourth or the fifth that gets you wasted. It is the first.
I can remember trying to have just one with friends who were getting wasted while in a once upon a time early recovery and it ended up with me getting wasted. And it wasn’t just getting wasted once it ended up being wasted for a year that ended up with me almost ending my own life. Life is hard enough in recovery. Good health is impossible with actively drinking and using. Simply, it is impossible.
Today if I have to be around people while they are drinking I have to have a reason to be there and I need to have a way to leave. A friend told me that I need to be healthy enough to say no when there. In other words what they meant was that to be there I had to be spiritually fit enough to say no or leave without making excuses to stay when recovery and health become at risk.
The I am of I am unique and I can have just one has no place around alcohol or other unhealthy substance that trigger me. I didn’t do it a lot but it took me many years of recovery to realize that one of these people who were getting buzzed or wasted just might say to me and my coffee mentality, “Why don’t we just step outside if you are too good to have a drink with me.”
A steak and a soda with another at a meal time is usually cool. In reality I have no reason to frequent a pub no matter what I think because a steak might just taste like – “Wow! A beer would go good with this.” Most people in recovery know this. The I am unique – I have heard it called being terminally unique so I can have just one is my enemy. I like to take safe-guards against losing my one day at a time health and recovery. I don’t want to lose the wellness that I have. This one day at a time growth is a piece of the puzzle in the one day at a time recovery that I try to live. Thank you for reading. Be well today.
Some people with mental health conditions that are concurrent with addictions can become anxious when they are not buzzed. When the person with the concurrent disorder has a glow they often feel as though they are in control. Even when wasted we can believe that we are perfectly fine.
When I was in this state I couldn’t see that I was living for or I was preoccupied with the high. Believing that I was in control I could not see that I was losing sight of my reality. A concurrent disorder made my life completely unmanageable.
Now that I am in recovery I find that I can cope with life as best that I can and it is easier to go with the flow. I try to keep life simple and I try not too panic when life becomes stressful. Some people would call this letting go and some people call it letting go and letting God.
On my own and by myself I know that I can make a pretty big mess of things. I touch base with God every morning and every night. During the rest of the time I use a centering prayer. Some people use the Serenity Prayer.
Often I will use a centering prayer to dismiss vagrant thoughts. This is the noise in your head that tells you are no good or that you will never make anything of your life. Sometimes vagrant thoughts will tell you to pick up and get a buzz. Centering prayers such as the Serenity Prayer will help to focus on recovery one day at a time. They are tools to recovery and peace of mind.
I have been told that I can be too hard on myself and when I am I can also be easily frustrated with others. When this happens I know that I am not on a humble and content path. Anxiety and depression can ignite this way of thinking. Centering prayer can bring one back to a content frame of mind.
If I can be gentle with myself and others I can let go of the need to always be in control. This can be difficult when one is trying to cope with a concurrent disorder because we can tend to be less flexible and adaptable to some of life’s changes than other people without our conditions.
We can learn to go with the flow when we are reasonable and when we learn to turn it over. When we are healthy we can practice humility and patience. I find it helpful when I don’t find the desire or the need to instill my will on others. I try and go with the flow. Thank you for reading. Be well today.
I look to this day to be clean, sober, and well this one day one day one day.
I am exploring this idea again as I have explored it in earlier written posts.
Many joys can be found in this day. Simple joys are many joys that happen to us or that we experience as witnesses but we are so wrapped up in the past or future that we miss them completely. Stress, anxiety, and other fears can blind us to simple but great joys.
The peace, the calm, the grateful breath can seal these joys in our minds and our hearts. The freedom of not having to get wasted this day. The freedom to look at a friend and to be grateful that they are your friend with their attributes as well as their human frailties. The freedom to learn from our mistakes and to grow in this one day and also the joy not to beat up on ourselves for our failures and our fears. The freedom to make the best of our living environment and to be at peace just for this day.
And also we have days that are not so good. We cope with days such as this in a few simple ways, or at least in a few simple ways that I do and that I will share with you. To have a to do list for this day and to focus on completing it. Simple things such as cleaning up your living space or completing your task at your job if you have one. Perhaps going for a walk. Meeting a friend for a decaf or just talking on the phone. Stepping outside of anxiety and trying to help someone else. Taking medication as prescribed (if you are a person like me who has been prescribed medication) and to stay clean and sober just for that day. Accept that life is hard sometimes and do not to be defeated by life’s hiccups just for today.
I believe it is a great grace when one is able to step outside of their own little world and try to help someone else as well as themselves. I truly believe that that would make God smile. Life that is one day one day one day clean and sober brings with it a life that is one day one day one day healthy. One day one day one day is now and now is today. And in this I find reasonable happiness or what many call contentment. One day – today. Be well today.