Be Well Today

After we have a bit of a grip on our health by being clean and sober for a while and also settling into comfortable wellness with our mental health condition we might start to look at one day at a time recovery as experiencing a puzzle being put together one piece at a time.

We begin to grow physically, mentally, and spiritually. In this growth we begin to be responsible and we begin to know how to care for others and ourselves. In this growth we learn that we need to set boundaries on ourselves.

One of the things I have learned is not to go into a pub by myself to have a coffee. I am going to share a few reasons for this that I have discovered as I slowly stepped out of the I am I used to think I was in regards to recovery.

I know that when I am sitting in a pub by myself, with a coffee mug in my hand that there is probably a chance that someone there could notice that it is not a bottle or a glass that is sitting on my table. Everyone else is usually drinking beer or liquor. Someone catching a buzz might think that I need a drink. As a matter of fact they might think that I need a real drink. They might even insist that I need a drink. If I say no thanks they might think that I am being unsociable. As a matter of fact they might argumentatively insist that I have a real drink. It can happen. A similar thing happened to me at a party but I had a way out.

Now to get back at being at a pub – If I am sitting down with another having a meal I will probably sit there unnoticed. Especially if I am drinking soda or water in a glass. If I am sober driving for others I have an acceptable excuse for not drinking to most people catching a buzz. Nonetheless if I am there I believe that I should have a good supportive person with me and I also need to be able to leave when it becomes too difficult for me to comfortable. And also in reality I simply should not be at a pub by myself because my I am might just convince me that I can have just one. In other words I don’t want to be in a pub drinking coffee by myself because it is too frigging dangerous. I have tried it.

It isn’t the fourth or the fifth that gets you wasted. It is the first.

I can remember trying to have just one with friends who were getting wasted while in a once upon a time early recovery and it ended up with me getting wasted. And it wasn’t just getting wasted once it ended up being wasted for a year that ended up with me almost ending my own life. Life is hard enough in recovery. Good health is impossible with actively drinking and using. Simply, it is impossible.

Today if I have to be around people while they are drinking I have to have a reason to be there and I need to have a way to leave. A friend told me that I need to be healthy enough to say no when there. In other words what they meant was that to be there I had to be spiritually fit enough to say no or leave without making excuses to stay when recovery and health become at risk.

The I am of I am unique and I can have just one has no place around alcohol or other unhealthy substance that trigger me. I didn’t do it a lot but it took me many years of recovery to realize that one of these people who were getting buzzed or wasted just might say to me and my coffee mentality, “Why don’t we just step outside if you are too good to have a drink with me.”

A steak and a soda with another at a meal time is usually cool. In reality I have no reason to frequent a pub no matter what I think because a steak might just taste like – “Wow! A beer would go good with this.” Most people in recovery know this. The I am unique – I have heard it called being terminally unique so I can have just one is my enemy. I like to take safe-guards against losing my one day at a time health and recovery. I don’t want to lose the wellness that I have. This one day at a time growth is a piece of the puzzle in the one day at a time recovery that I try to live. Thank you for reading. Be well today.

Some people with mental health conditions that are concurrent with addictions can become anxious when they are not buzzed. When the person with the concurrent disorder has a glow they often feel as though they are in control. Even when wasted we can believe that we are perfectly fine.

When I was in this state I couldn’t see that I was living for or I was preoccupied with the high. Believing that I was in control I could not see that I was losing sight of my reality. A concurrent disorder made my life completely unmanageable.

Now that I am in recovery I find that I can cope with life as best that I can and it is easier to go with the flow. I try to keep life simple and I try not too panic when life becomes stressful. Some people would call this letting go and some people call it letting go and letting God.

On my own and by myself I know that I can make a pretty big mess of things. I touch base with God every morning and every night. During the rest of the time I use a centering prayer. Some people use the Serenity Prayer.

Often I will use a centering prayer to dismiss vagrant thoughts. This is the noise in your head that tells you are no good or that you will never make anything of your life. Sometimes vagrant thoughts will tell you to pick up and get a buzz. Centering prayers such as the Serenity Prayer will help to focus on recovery one day at a time. They are tools to recovery and peace of mind.

I have been told that I can be too hard on myself and when I am I can also be easily frustrated with others. When this happens I know that I am not on a humble and content path. Anxiety and depression can ignite this way of thinking. Centering prayer can bring one back to a content frame of mind.

If I can be gentle with myself and others I can let go of the need to always be in control. This can be difficult when one is trying to cope with a concurrent disorder because we can tend to be less flexible and adaptable to some of life’s changes than other people without our conditions.

We can learn to go with the flow when we are reasonable and when we learn to turn it over. When we are healthy we can practice humility and patience. I find it helpful when I don’t find the desire or the need to instill my will on others. I try and go with the flow. Thank you for reading. Be well today.

I look to this day to be clean, sober, and well this one day one day one day.

I am exploring this idea again as I have explored it in earlier written posts.

Many joys can be found in this day. Simple joys are many joys that happen to us or that we experience as witnesses but we are so wrapped up in the past or future that we miss them completely. Stress, anxiety, and other fears can blind us to simple but great joys.

The peace, the calm, the grateful breath can seal these joys in our minds and our hearts. The freedom of not having to get wasted this day. The freedom to look at a friend and to be grateful that they are your friend with their attributes as well as their human frailties. The freedom to learn from our mistakes and to grow in this one day and also the joy not to beat up on ourselves for our failures and our fears. The freedom to make the best of our living environment and to be at peace just for this day.

And also we have days that are not so good. We cope with days such as this in a few simple ways, or at least in a few simple ways that I do and that I will share with you. To have a to do list for this day and to focus on completing it. Simple things such as cleaning up your living space or completing your task at your job if you have one. Perhaps going for a walk. Meeting a friend for a decaf or just talking on the phone. Stepping outside of anxiety and trying to help someone else. Taking medication as prescribed (if you are a person like me who has been prescribed medication) and to stay clean and sober just for that day. Accept that life is hard sometimes and do not to be defeated by life’s hiccups just for today.

I believe it is a great grace when one is able to step outside of their own little world and try to help someone else as well as themselves. I truly believe that that would make God smile. Life that is one day one day one day clean and sober brings with it a life that is one day one day one day healthy. One day one day one day is now and now is today. And in this I find reasonable happiness or what many call contentment. One day – today. Be well today.

I can remember a long long time ago I had said to a psychiatrist that I thought that I needed to go into a 28 day rehab in order to stay off of pot. He told that I would still have to say no when I finished the program. At that time I did not realize how true those words of wisdom really are.

Today I know that the only true way to stay off of pot is that if you do not take that first puff it is a guarantee that you will not get high. For the genius who thinks that you can still eat it that is true so just don’t take that first bite and for the even smarter addict just do not ingest it in any way or any form and you won’t get high. That includes breathing in second hand smoke or absorbing it through the pores or any other manner. In other words don’t get high and you will not get high.

Now if you want to stay off of pot a rehab program will help. Twelve step fellowships, professional supports, and faith in the God of your understanding will solidify your recovery one day at a time.

In my understanding of God I find Grace and Grace is good enough. I try and surrender my substance addictions, which include pot, to the care of my God and my God is big enough to give me Grace if I put it in God’s care and don’t take it back. I have lost the obsession to use. Just for today I try to face life on life’s terms.

Life has not always been easy for me in my recovery. There has been heartache, family crises, mental health crises and relapses with hospitalizations with one episode leading to adverse reactions to medications leading to an overdose on medication and then to stabilization on a different anti-psychotic medication.

Regardless of the difficulties in my recovery I have had many joys in my recovery and I have had a number of successful dreams come true. I have had decent relationships and I have contributed in life and to my communities and some small ways. I have also tried to help people in this continuing journey of not smoking pot or drinking in many one day one day one days after another.

Today I know I have this one day – this moment. Many, many people have helped me in my recovery. Many people have helped me in my life. God as I understand God to be has helped and this is Grace and Grace is enough. Thank you for reading. Be well today.

When living with a concurrent disorder some of us will find that we need an overhaul in our spiritual lives when we come into one day at a time recovery. Many of us welcome this endeavor as a path to contentment.

I know that when I lived with grandiose or paranoid delusions I found great relief when I learned to take myself off of the pedestal or the chopping block. Should I begin to entertain delusional thinking today I know that I am not the Christ or the anti-Christ. I know that I am not a prophet or a false prophet and when such thoughts develop in my thinking patterns I say that I am just a regular person. I do not beat myself up for such thoughts and I try to be gentle with myself like any compassionate person would be with another person with mental illness.

When I get down on myself and the old negative tapes (vagrant thoughts) continue on in my head a centering prayer leads to a gentle nudge to myself from what I would call a breath from a higher power which I believe has Grace to do so. I also believe that medication, for people like me, can get and keep us well enough for healthy spirituality.

There are times that I just want to silence the angry voice in my head that seems to be a part of my life so I do turn to centering prayer. Like others that I know I use the Jesus Prayer ( the Sinner’s Prayer ) or the short version of the Serenity Prayer. And yes I know that I am no saint. Just like a lot of people with addictions I was an incredibly self centered person. I do a bit better today.

I will never be perfectly well in this life but I can be well. I can be reasonably happy and content. It is of paramount importance that I don’t pick up that first toke or drink today. I maintain a few friendships and I partake in my responsibilities the best that I can. I take an active role in my recovery and I ask for help. I also treasure hope, love, and joy. I try and live in this day. Healthy spirituality is peace of mind. Haven’t people with mental illness suffered enough. Give yourself a break. Thank you for reading. Be well today.

For those of us who live life managing a mental illness it is important to develop rational and reasonable thinking so that we can live in recovery one day at a time. Rational and reasonable thinking can take us out of the I am of stress and the I am of I need  constant and continual relief.

This relief usually comes in the form of unhealthy addictions or the obsessive give me something to make me feel better. When we live life not taking reasonable care of ourselves and we use poor coping methods I really don’t understand why we wonder why we are anxious and stressed. Nicotine, caffeine, and obsessive worry are a catalyst to anxiety. Anxiety is based in fear and it can be induced by poor physical and emotional coping methods.

Certain medications can help us to deal with anxiety. They are to be taken under the care and the direction of a competent doctor.

When dealing with anxiety there comes a time that we have to learn about ourselves and where this fear or these fears are coming from. We have to name our fears and we have to accept that we are people and people can be afraid. Yes we can be afraid.

Once we accept our fears we can then see that our fears can be valid and once we know our fears we can face them the best that we can.  We will no longer have to deal with our fears by masking them with the false sense of security that a constant buzz delivers every time that we pop a pill, take a puff, or have a drink. And once we see our fears then we can begin to know ourselves.

Then we can begin to see that we are people. We can know our fears and with a bit of reflection we can see that we are more than our fears. We have human qualities. We will see that we are a part of creation and that we have been created as  valuable human beings. We will see that we are humans living who can be free from anxiety or fear. One day at a time.

We will be healthy or healthier. Being free from constant anxiety does not mean that we won’t have panic attacks. It does not mean that we will not be afraid. It does not mean that we won’t get angry and it does not mean that we won’t be defensive. It does not mean that we won’t take medications. It does not mean that we don’t need stress relief. It does mean that we can be free of constant anxiety and constant fear one day at a time.

Beginning to know ourselves and accepting that we can have fear we can realize that we are not the center of the universe which is very hard to see because when we live in constant fear and continual anxiety  we are on an unhealthy survival mode style of living. We need to let go of this fear.

What I know is that I am a part of creation. I am a part of God’s universe. I am a person and I have the right to be as healthy as humanly possible. Also I have the right to be reasonably happy, joyful, and content one day at a time. This is freedom from bondage for many people as they live in recovery one day at a time.

One day at a time living can help us to live free from anxiety when we live with  healthy coping methods. Naming our fears and knowing why we are afraid is healthy thinking. We don’t let anxiety own us just for today.

God bless you and thank you for reading. Be well today.

I live clean and sober with a fairly manageable life as I live as a person who lives with a concurrent disorder. As I have often said I live life one day at a time and I am a person who lives a reasonable and a reasonably happy life. I know that I do well to remember  this each and every day.

I am a person who lives with an illness that tells me that I don’t have an illness. When these flights of fanciful thinking occur I do well to remember that I am not perfect. When I remember that I am not perfect it is easier to accept that I live with a concurrent disorder. When I remind myself that I have an illness I am reminding myself that using substances to catch a buzz or to get wasted or to make a decision to stop taking medication that is necessary for good health could easily bring symptoms of a concurrent disorder. I know that I am to accept that the I have an illness and that I can choose to live in recovery just for this day just one day at a time. To deny this knowledge that I know from from experience is a symptom of addiction and also a symptom of mental illness. It is called denial. Denial happens usually in early recovery but in reality it can happen at anytime to anyone.

An illness is an illness. Acceptance of illness is life and we all live our lives as people who live with the human condition of human imperfection. Denial is part of the human ego (the I am) that tells us that we are just too together to have have such a stigmatized condition such as a concurrent disorder because people who live with mental illnesses or addictions are weak. That last statement is as untrue as untrue can be. Illness is illness. A concurrent disorder can affect anyone.

Denial tells us that we are in control when we are buzzed or when we are wasted. Using once can lead us into I want and then it leads us into I need. We also find ourselves needing to use even when our whole being is screaming I don’t want to use. We know we are destroying our lives but we can’t stop. The I am of addiction has taken over and we get so ill we can’t see that we are ill and we are on the merry-go-round of our addictions. If we see that we are on this merry-go-round we can have a moment of clarity we can ask for help to get off. Often we can see that we need help. Many people cry out for help.

One way to find something positive in being a person who is afflicted with  a concurrent disorder is to find recovery from a concurrent disorder.

In my recovery I live my life one day at a time. I do not do this perfectly but I do do it well enough to be healthy enough to be reasonable and reasonably happy. For today my life is manageable today. I take the necessary steps to live in recovery this day and I use the tools that I have to help me stay well as I venture forth on this journey that is called life. Each day I ask the God of my understanding for help to stay clean and sober.

Illness is illness. Concurrent disorders are an illness or a combination of illnesses. Illness is the human condition of human imperfection. Denial of illness or human imperfection is a symptom of illness. Acceptance is a major tool of recovery

Thank you for reading. Be well today.

I sometimes think as a recovering person and as I think as a recovering person I know that too much alone time can be a bad thing.

When alone for too much time, vagrant thoughts and negative tapes can play in our heads. They can become a slight annoyance and then they can grow into all out havoc. The two of these can be more common during stressful periods of our lives.

Both of these two can run rampantly destructful when we are smoking dope or drinking. Today I know that I can’t do either of these. Some people just can’t smoke pot or drink. I have accepted that I am one.

Even vagrant thoughts based on grandiose delusions can be damaging to one’s self. The fall is hard and also I really don’t enjoy the arrogance that goes with grandiosity. We are all important. That is just the way it is.

I am fine with being a person. No better or no worse than anyone else. Being human is a blessing.

Today, like many other people, I choose to be a recovering person one day at a time.

There is all kinds of recovery material on line. Choose recovery.

Today we have a choice. Live your recovery one day a time. Thank you for reading. Be well today.

I used cannabis and alcohol for 19 years. I believe that it magnified the effects of living with a major mental illness. Both of these substances have a history of doing this to people. Pot became an every day thing and I became a binge drinker. The alcohol binges became longer and closer together.

I needed to get buzzed to face life. It became my normal. It was my security blanket. I couldn’t mature to be a responsible adult. I could have coped with life and a mental illness a bit better had I been clean and sober.

I have some regrets. I believe that I have learned from my past.

I have couch surfed and I have lived with friends. I have had a couple of short live together romances but they did not work out. I have worked odd jobs. I have been on employment insurance and welfare. I did what I had to do to get by. I did not understand that I had a disability. I understand it today. Today I cope with life and my illness.
Even today my wife and I get help from the government.

It is one day at a time recovery.

Life has not been perfect in recovery and I have had set backs. In reality I am doing well today and in much of my recovery I have done well. On rough days I put one foot in front of the other and I try and focus on being well.

I know other people are doing it. I am reasonable and reasonably happy. I am free form the desire and the obsession of pot and alcohol. It can be done and it feels good. The monkey is off my back. It feels good.

Today I know I am not alone. We don’t have to be. Thanks for reading. Be well today.

I believe that many people who live with mental illness and addiction have struggles in their lives. We can face this adversity and we can be well one day at a time.

I choose to stay clean and sober one day at a time and I try to monitor my thought process while doing so. In addition to this I try and be aware of the moods I am experiencing on a regular basis.

One of the things I watch for is vagrant thoughts. In this awareness, one pattern of thinking I see is self-righteous thinking. I have been told by a friend that I am no better or no worse than anyone else. Another friend added – just as good as. I have no reason to feel I have all the answers to recovery.

I have been reasonably well and reasonably happy for many years. I have not drank alcohol or smoked dope for all thirty of them. I have had my struggles and have been unwell throughout some of these difficulties but I keep living my recovery one day at a time.

I do not have all the answer to recovery and I am not so foolish as to think that I do. I have had a lot of support from people over the years.

I also know that medication is a main tool of my recovery. I take it as prescribed. This is my choice because I do not want to be ill. And I choose to stay connected with other people in give and take relations ships. They are my family and friends. I also stay connected with others who can help and I try to connect with those I can help.

So when I need I take a deep breath. I stay clean and sober one day at a time and often I pray. Help, thanks, and wow. I am responsible for my recovery and in this responsibility I know I am not alone. I hope you know that you do not have to do this alone. Be well today. Thanks for reading.