People new to one day at a time recovery are often aspiring to catch the rain. When we are there (then), every tear that we had shed and every fear that we had felt would end soon because now we had it all together. After all isn’t that what one day at a time recovery is all about. We also believed our new found recovery would mend all the wrongs we had done. We believed we were pinnacles of recovery who could save so many others from their own despair. Today we realize we were just trying to catch the rain. Now that we have a bit more experience with recovery, we know to come in out of the rain instead of trying to catch it. And the rain will fall. Have no doubt. The tears will be less, and the fears have to be challenged. In all reality we learn to live with, and through them. We will try and mend the wrongs we have done (sometimes we will and sometimes we can’t). As for being pinnacles of recovery, we are doing much better, but most of us aren’t role models. We too can fall. Another reality is even though we are doing much better, no-one has it all together all the time. One day at a time becomes a beautiful journey, and very often we experience the happy, joyous and free that people experience. We now know when to take shelter, and in knowing this we are aware of the grace that we have had, and are now receiving. God, the spirit, or the Universe is our friend. Illusions fade. This is what one day at a time recovery is all about. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery do not like the noise they find when they are alone. Some of us will put on a radio to drown out the noise in our own heads. Sometimes we put on the television. We might even put them on in more than one room. Some of us will scroll our phones or our computers. Some of us will play our play list on other electronic devices. We do so in hopes that something will catch our attention keeping us engaged for a while. Some of us will notice we did so without speaking, and the noise in our heads had ceased for a bit. In addition to these methods of stopping the noise some of us read, write, or become involved in creative activities. These are all forms of quiet resistance. In all reality this quiet resistance keeps us involved, engaged and attached to activity coming from outside the mind. When the noise is quiet enough for us to be mindful during these moments of quiet resistance, usually we will find these activities pleasant and worthwhile. When we learn to be aware enough to appreciate these mindful activities, we will be able to do it in forms of contemplation in our own backyards, the forest, or an urban park. In such settings we will also find the calm. Quiet resistance is a tool of recovery. At times we will find that we experience the gift of being in awe. We’re not being foolish. Sometimes the noise can be brutal. We all deserve a break. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery live in the present day. Living in the present day does not mean we cannot plant the garden of tomorrow. The reason we plant the garden of tomorrow this present day is because its harvest is a necessity for tomorrow. We know we must eat. It is the brave souls among us who buy the seed and ready the soil. When the soil is readied at the right time of the spring, the seed is planted. The brave souls among us know how to weed and water the garden. They know what pesticides to spray the garden with, and they know how to harvest the crop. These brave souls also know how to preserve and store the bounty. They also now how to bring the crop to market. One day at a time the garden of tomorrow is the garden of today. The brave souls who did all this had hope for tomorrow. Always they lived in today. We can too. Give thanks. It’s important. Someone or something made the earth, the seed, the water, and the planter. Peace.
People living in one day at a time recovery know having boundaries is a good thing. Even though having boundaries is important, many of us have to be reminded of this. We must tell ourselves that boundaries are okay. Seriously! Many of us are too kind hearted or too afraid to say no. Guilt, fear, and unbridled generosity are recipes for making people pleasers. People pleasers are not happy people. The kind hearted people who are afraid to say no will eventually learn that sometimes the kind thing to do is to say no. Saying no can help people to be responsible, healthy individuals. When a person understands personal responsibility, they understand how to be a part of one day at a time recovering people. When we understand this we comprehend that truly we belong. Having boundaries doesn’t mean that we can’t be kind and helpful people. When we understand this we become happier and healthier people. Most of us strive to find this balance. We need to keep consistency and purpose in our recovery. What most of us discover is that when we learn to set boundaries, we become much more generous individuals. Not only to others but also to ourselves. When we do we become far less resentful, and we become at peace with our decisions. Remember this. It’s important. Peace.
People living in one day at a time recovery live humble lives. In all honesty we find life to be a humble adventure. This is the reality of one day at a time recovery. What we have discovered while on this humble adventure is that we don’t know everything. In all our humility, understanding that we don’t know everything is the foundation of everything we know. What we have learned is the reality of equality. We are no better, or no worse, than any other human being. This is humble belonging. What we do understand is our one day at a time recovery is like a rose. It’s a beautiful thing but it also has thorns. What some of us come to understand is how important maintaining our recovery is. We understand that we are to give our recovery away. When we are giving away our recovery, we are participating in keeping ourselves healthy, humble and real. In doing so, we are actually helping people. We live responsible lives. Doing so is simple but it isn’t always easy. Humble people know this. We learn to reach out when needed. We know the rose has its thorns. In all reality this humble adventure has much joy in it. Relish it and share it with others when you can. Peace.
People who are living in one day at a time recovery change. In all honesty we become healthier to the point that we are different beings. It takes time for the changes to take place, and in all honesty recovering people won’t see the changes first. Others notice them before we do. It’s not what we say that make others notice. It’s in what we do, or do not do, that others see. In all honesty, often when we are healthier, our very being changes into responsible people who others can depend on, and get along with. Although life still can be difficult we can adapt, adjust, and do well regardless of our disorders. When these changes takes place, we too will notice them. Why? It’s not because of what we say. It’s because of what we do, or do not do, and because of the development of our very being. We will develop a sense of belonging when we find our niche, and grow a little day by day, one step at a time. When we do, we will be aware of our character flaws and our short-comings. They might change or disappear. Some call this growth. We call it grace. In all reality we become different human beings. Peace.
Before recovery, humiliation was something we thought meant the same as humility. Frequently ashamed of behaviours, using addicts see themselves in as negative a light as most of society sees them. Maybe for a time, the addict thinks they are “cool” because they are users, standing outside the mainstream of society, radicals who know something that all those straight people have missed out on. As the shame and degradation become more and more apparent in the addict’s life, however, the voice of condemnation eventually becomes louder. The alternatives are to use more in hopes of shutting out that voice or, if you can hear the message of recovery, seek a new way to live. When the addict first seeks recovery, chances are they carry a great deal of shame. When the word “humility” comes up, they hear “humiliation”. Eventually, though, as recovery builds in the life of the addict, they come to see that true humility is recognizing that we all have flaws and have done many things of which we are ashamed but that, at the same time, we have good qualities that we can be proud of and that we can use to help us rebuild lives. Eventually, we see that humility involves acknowledging our flaws even as we embrace the things we are discovering about ourselves of which we can be proud. We’ll never be perfect, but that’s okay. One day at a time, we’ll continue our quest to be better.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery believe in first hand knowledge. We might have difficulty taking advice from someone who hasn’t lived with our disorders. Sometimes these views are valid. Sometimes these views are absurd. Often ego makes it so that we can have difficulty in trusting direction from others who haven’t lived our experience. Just because we bullshitted a therapist it doesn’t mean a therapist couldn’t adequately help us, and that they failed us. It means we conned ourselves out of a possibility of being helped. Our reality is if we want to live in recovery we have to be responsible. Especially for our own recovery. We need to understand that the so called normal people can give us direction to help us cope with our disorders and to live in one day at a time recovery. Another reality is when we have been in recovery for a while we know when our ego is being an ego and our minds do open up a bit. It’s either a big step step in trust or we are first-handedly experiencing the gift of desperation. We’ll know which it is. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery learn to trust their own judgement. This happens when we trust our recovery. Although we might struggle at times, we know the reality of our lives. What we should know is people without learned experience truthfully have no leg to stand on when they criticize our recovery. Our reality is that they will, and they do, because they don’t know any better. We learn to let it go though difficult as it might be. When we trust our recovery we know we are capable and valuable human beings, and as capable and valuable people we know when we need help. When we trust our recovery we know who we can ask for help. When we trust our recovery we know the reality of our lives and that we will grow in recovery. We also become fairly self-aware. Peace.
Many people who are living in one day at a time recovery write gratitude lists. Often we do this when we are depleted of, or struggling to find joy. Sometimes we do this when adversities are kicking at our doors. We also write gratitude lists when we don’t want to give ourselves, others, or life in general a break. Difficult times happen to all of us. Gratitude lists are important. In truth a gratitude list is a written celebration of life. During struggles we need to search for, write down, see and acknowledge the good things in our lives. Our reality is if we are living in recovery, we have being in recovery to be grateful for. If we are living in recovery our mental health is good. Write that down. Read it and acknowledge it. If you are living in recovery and you are having a difficult time, and you know it’s a difficult time that will end, write it down, read it and acknowledge it. These are all gifts of being in recovery. There are many many other things to be grateful for. Search for them and write them down. Read them and acknowledge them. When we read these gratitude lists when we are doing well we will really see they are a written celebration that life brings us much joy. People living in recovery know this. Peace.