Those of us who live in one day at a time recovery know that gratitude is an invitation to belonging. And when we know this, we know belonging is the gift of being loved. And in so, this gift of belonging reveals to us that we are grateful to be alive. We have learned to love ourselves and our commitment to being, and staying healthy, one day at a time. We find ourselves on an imperfect journey of acceptance and wellness. Sometimes we grow in leaps and bounds. Sometimes we stumble, stutter, and fall. Nonetheless we stand again, belonging in the mystery of our journey, hoping our eyes will be open to the joys we shall find and the lessons we can learn. Grace will no longer be a mystery and we shall gratefully acknowledge being aware we are as valuable to life as the gift of the rising sun. We can smile, or we can weep, because we now know no matter what, we belong.
Many of us who are living in recovery know that we are not always working our recovery. We are living a life-style of being healthy one day at a time in which we do not use. Usually we don’t even have to think twice about this. If we do think of it, it is a reaffirmation that we shouldn’t do as such. Why is it this way? It is this way because when we became healthy we became responsible and we started enjoying our lives. It is inviting to be reasonable and reasonably happy. This leads us to being happy, joyous, and free. We can become considerate loving people in real relationships with other people. We can have, or question, our relationship with God – a Creator – the Universe- or whatsoever we choose to. Most of us know that we are not he, she, or they but we know they are. At least we have some belief. We live this live-style and we know it doesn’t have a cheat day like some diets do. We choose this, we trust our faith (though it might change or grow), we reach out, and we try to give back because we really want to.
And I cry when they are happy
And I cry when they are sad
And I fight when they are vicious
And when they’re sane I am half mad
And their honor’s not my business
And their nights are sticks and stones
And their highs aren’t my decisions
And how they dig deep in my bones
And in the morning how they haunt me
And in my chills I cry to God
And how the music’s simply music
And how I hear my tears applaud
And how my heart knows it is fallen
And how my soul is stoned and chained
And how I utter and I utter
Crimson blood the page is stained
And how my love weeps in a ballad
Seven thousand drops of gold
And the poets they are laughing
And the gamblers bow and fold
While the minutes tick for hours
Deep within the months and years
While I rhyme at sobbing flowers
With a jester’s cloak of tears
And how the trees they search for sunshine
And how they wither without rain
Within a world lacking water
And the oceans have been drained
And how the stars they wander lonely
And the moon is never full
And how the comets are ripped shadows
Within this nothingness I mull
And how you feel the superficial
From those close and dear to you
For they shall never hear the voices
Nor shall they know the world is blue
And how you thank God for this blessing
And how you find a peace in this
Within this empty empty writing
Within this sadness full of bliss
And then a river smiles in calmness
And then the trees grow green and bright
And all this beauty’s simply stunning
And then the afternoon is light
And then the birds lay down a ballad
And the decaf taste so good
And how the children play in kindness
And all love is understood
And then the maple leaves are dancing
Within a gentle waltz of joy
And how my pen begins a journey
And then its ink’s a little coy
Of a magic born of wishes
Where goodwill is feeling well
And how I touched a piece of heaven
And I have walked another hell
For I had lost my pen while walking
And I was loaned one just to use
And how I lost an early sadness
And how I found a better fuse
And three times I sort of smiled
And how they turned into a grin
And how I thanked God for the moment
And how I watched the joy begin
And in this world how I welcomed
Every breath that I had drawn
Every teardrop that had fallen
Every morning’s breaking dawn
And in the quiet I found freedom
And in my chains there was a mirth
And every heartache that had hurt me
And then I understood their worth
And then I stopped to eat a cracker
And I had a piece of cheese
And then I drew a draught of water
That did much much more than please
And as my mood grew silent passive
Within this joy of solitude
And how I thanked God for the moment
And for this sweet soft interlude
And the TV had no motion
And how the radio was mute
And perhaps my pen was rapid
For which my mind could not dispute
That in the coming of the welcomed
Upon this Sunday afternoon
On this first day of September
Which seemed to come a little soon
As I walk I walk together
And not alone another mile
Within a true insane surrender
And I surrendered with a smile
Those of us who live in one day at a time recovery eventually realize that there are times that we are looking through a clouded glass. When this happens we do not see very well. Those thoughts of getting a buzz might interfere with our healthy thinking. During these times it is a good idea to talk to someone who can be supportive and understanding. Perhaps what we cannot see is that we are only an arm’s length away from risking our possibilities of having a manageable and happy life. We don’t see the consequences of active addiction. And there are consequences. We just don’t see them. During these times it is a good idea to trust the clarity that others have to see what could happen should we pick up. We need to learn this. These intrusive thoughts will pass. We don’t have to do this all by ourselves. We just need to reach out. One day at a time.
Even when living in one day at a time recovery some of us have a way in taking mishaps personal. We tend to read into things that are not there. This is because of our levels of flexibility and adaptability are being strained. We can feel like the universe is against us and we can be frustrated, irritated, and frightened. The reality of the matter is these feelings are difficult to deal with and have a tendency to grow like a rolling snowball. To add to this snowball affect we tend to find it difficult to reach out. But it seems if we can step out of this personal mode of thinking we can see that others are concerned. In reality we learn that solutions don’t always happen in our time or in the way we expect them to. We’ll be okay. We take life one day at a time.
Learning to deal with uncertainty can be difficult for the healthiest of people. We who live in one day at a time recovery learn this. We follow recovery programs, learn coping methods or tools, and try to live in the present moment. Still, uncertainty can mess with us. It causes us anxiety. It causes depression. Sometimes our lack of coping skills have disabling effects on us. Some people retreat into aloneness and active addiction. Uncertainty can literally kill us. Perhaps, just one day at a time, we can learn to live with uncertainty. If we have the basic necessities of life we have some certainty in our lives (this includes medication for many of us). Uncertainty is simply adversity caused by not knowing everything for sure. We can cope and if we need help we reach out. It’s important. We don’t have to do this alone. We can do this.
Just having coffee with a friend is a good way to step out of the stress of daily life. We, who live in one day at a time recovery, can know the stressors of work and its commitments. We also have other stressors. Perhaps we have recovery obligations or we have volunteer work that we have to do. We have people depending on us. Maybe we should make that coffee a decaf. A decaf with a friend is better than going for just one of what we used to use, that in all honesty, can start the whole cycle of active addiction all over again. Most of us know this from experience. For most of us this isn’t our first chance at recovery. If we are paying attention we know better. Instead of using we can go for a coffee. Give and take happens during coffee conversations. It can be about nothing – it can be about something. It is whatever we make it. Go have a coffee because for some of us it’s a break from the aloneness that can plague us in our own minds. It works and we’re worth it. One day at a time.
Having a comfortable life is important for people who are living in one day at a time recovery. Comfortable life does not mean that we will have all the bells and whistles afforded to those living with upper class incomes. Comfortable living means that we can be content with what we have and that we don’t have to stress ourselves so much that we will become ill or dissatisfied with our lives. It is important that we learn and appreciate this as a gift that our recovery has brought us. Even those of us who have a limited income are capable of finding comfortable living (though it does need to be adequate enough to meet our necessities). Having a comfortable living means we are healthy. It also means that we are reasonable and reasonably happy. And this means we can be happy, joyous, and free. Not perfect but comfortable. Life will have its struggles but we will do well. One day at a time we learn the joy of comfortable living.
People who live in one day at a time recovery from mental health disorders and addiction know that when life gets hard we reach out for help. We do not have to face our struggles alone. The first thing we do is we need to take a breath and recognize we need help. It doesn’t matter how long we have been in recovery, when we need help and we don’t reach out, we can make mistakes. Mistakes make life difficult, and when life gets difficult, we can be resentful. Here is a reality check – resentful people don’t have much gratitude or contentment. It could even lead us into thinking we need a buzz or that we need to get wasted. This alone is a good enough reason to reach out. We need to let go of fear. If we don’t over-tax the good grace of people, most people like to help. Especially when they know we need it. With the help of other people we can do what was too difficult for us to do alone. When life gets hard we reach out. One day at a time.
There is a common delusion many people share which is that we can only be happy when we find Utopia. This is because we believe that Utopia is a place where all of our desires and dreams will be fulfilled. Such a place is the vision of people in bondage. It is the hopes of people in pain. Such is the pain of people living with concurrent disorders. The delusion we share is that we need perfection to be happy not the idea of does Utopia exist. If we believe that Utopia is a state of being, rather than a place to live, we will have moments of Utopian peace. And we can have a lot of serenity, happiness, and joy. It happens one day at a time. This is when we experience freedom from the bondage that active addiction places on us. We can be free from the delusion that happiness is anything other than the happy, joyous, and free lives recovering people live. Our pain is real. We can acknowledge that. When we are reasonable about what Utopia is, which is the freedom for people in bondage, we have the gift of gratitude and the gifts brought to us when we escape our delusions which some call the bondage of self. Thank you for reading.