I have sat inside rooms with people who live in one day at a time recovery. Most of them are fairly adapted to life when they don’t use or drink. Most of them are able bodied and most of them have sound minds. I used to feel a little on the outs because many of them have no idea of what psychosis is all about. But in reality, some of them do. They talk about the coming down or the coming off of whatever they so chose to get or keep wasted on. They talk about the voices that were taking over. The thoughts of suicide and the suicide attempts. Some of these people were in such bad shape that they had little concept of reality. I have heard the stories of the people who were in the units. Even with these stories and experiences most of them don’t say they have, or had, a mental health disorder. Maybe they don’t. Maybe they didn’t. Sometimes when I am talking I will say that I am a disabled recovering psychotic after I identify myself as a person living in one day at a time recovery. It is a part of my story. You see, the units were not shameful for me. That is where one day at a time recovery begins for many people. Many people are beginning to understand this. In these rooms we are no longer alone and we are not out of our minds. We see the miracles begin.
There is a crazy freedom that people who are living in one day a time recovery get to experience. We learn to live reasonably happy lives which grants us the ability to be happy, joyous, and free. The reason we can have lives that are happy, joyous, and free is because we know and understand that what we claim is not hypocrisy because we do not claim to be perfect, better, happier, or in any way more spiritually fit than any other person. We know we merely claim to grow in emotional, mental, and spiritual health one day at a time. We understand the bondage of self and we become aware of this bondage when it appears. And it does appear to all of us. It’s called life. This bondage appeared much more when we lived our lives wrapped up solely in the unhealthy circumstances of active concurrent disorders. We know that people are more in love with humanity and life when they are emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthy. This world becomes a much better place to live in in one day at a time recovery. We know the control freaks because we can be them, but we also learn to let go. We get better at dealing with stress. But in all reality we know that life has its pain. We can own it. We can process it. And we let it go. This is the crazy freedom that people living in one day at a time recovery get to experience. It’s a gift. Be grateful.
Many people have paid a high price to find one day at a time recovery from concurrent disorders. To start we have paid a huge financial cost to realize we had no choice but to accept that we needed help. We simply couldn’t stop drinking or using when we had to stop. Some of us lost everything we had, which in some cases might have been fortunes in security. Some of us lost the friendship and love of people who we cared dearly for. That’s an awful loss. Some of us were destroying our physical health while also damaging our brains and our minds. Some of us lost any semblance of reality that is found in a sober mind and we could not develop a mature sense of inherent self dignity which is something we can find in the one day at a time recovery. We lost the reality of freedom of choice. One day at a time recovery is not an exclusive group of people. We have all paid dearly to be free. We know how to find it. Reach out for help to find out how to help yourself. We need to find and use professional, peer, and natural supports. This also includes taking medication as prescribed for some of us. We need to stop adding to the cost that we will pay if we don’t get the help we need to help ourselves by living in recovery one day at a time.
People who live with mental health disorders and addiction understand desperation that is quiet and lonely. This quiet desperation is a longing to be well. It is a desperation for love and belonging. It is a desperation to be at ease within ones self. Quiet desperation is a part of living with a concurrent disorder, and it occurs when our troubles flow like waters through a crumbling damn. We have to reach out for help. Alone, at this time, is no place to be. Here is the upside of quiet desperation. When we reach out and get help to help ourselves we quietly begin to become healthy. Perhaps a doctor, a social worker, an addiction counsellor, a family member, a friend, a clergy member, or someone from a 12 step program can give us the help we need. For myself, I needed to be hospitalized, medicated, and I had to reach out to some of the other people mentioned above. It took time but this quiet desperation became a loud cry for help, and then it became the gift of desperation. I don’t have it all together. No one does. My life is humble, modest, and it has its adversities. I do reach out and in my own way I freely give back.
People who are living in one day at a time recovery know that there are times when giving grace is more difficult than others. It can bit difficult to give grace when we are hungry, angry, lonely, or tired. It can be difficult to give grace when we are in physical or emotional pain. It can be difficult if we lack the ability to empathize with a person in need of grace. It can be difficult for those of us who can have the tendency to be self-centered or self-serving. This is the nature of some of us but some still do reach out and extend the hand of grace. When we are well, giving grace is a fairly common occurrence for us. During challenging times giving grace can be difficult but some people, no matter what, know the importance of always giving grace. Grace is always a God thing.
Most people who are living in one day at a time recovery are people who know about receiving grace. We received it from our parents, children, and other members of our families. We received it from our employers and our co-workers, our friends and our communities. In addition to this some of us have received grace from the courts, peace officers, and the government (or so the people who vote for them). And some of us have received it from other people we have hurt. Those of us who choose to believe that there is a God out there, who we know is beyond our comprehension, know one thing for certain. Most of us wouldn’t be alive today, and in recovery, if it wasn’t for the grace of this God. We receive grace, perhaps confused, but grateful. We might even ask why? Grace is a gift we did not merit. It is born of love, hope, and charity. And we also will give grace. One day at a time.
Those of us who live with mental health disorders and addiction often have lived lives that were out of control. Often, a crisis occurred, and we ended up in a hospital or a treatment facility for addiction. While there we had a taste of wellness. The ideal idea is to carry this taste of wellness with us when we are discharged. Many of us sought treatment on an outpatient basis. We learned what some of us call tools to help us in our recovery. Some of us joined support groups to help us manage our disorders. Many of us learned to take life one day at a time. Many of us learned to turn to some form in which we understood God to be. We recalled a day in our lives when we were desperate and said, “God help me”. Not knowing who, what, or how, we just prayed. Something happened and we received a taste of wellness. Many of us still carry this wellness with us after many years of one day at a time living. Our lives are not perfect and we don’t always have it all together. Still, we are well.
Some people who live in recovery from mental health disorders and addiction are now drinking water. Many of us who liked to drink alcohol had no sense of drinking it in moderation. We stopped drinking alcohol and we started drinking coffee. We found we drank a lot of coffee. It created bouts of anxiety and we found it difficult to sleep. We switched to decaf. It helped. We then started drinking water. It helped too. We found that we could fill a water bottle at home and carry it with us. We started saving money and helping the environment. Water is good for us. The hand to mouth is a natural action and the water is soothing to drink. It detoxes the body. We can still have a cup or two of regular coffee a day. A bit more of decaf if we choose. Drink water. Two liters a day.
Sometimes people living in recovery from mental health conditions and addiction feel like they’re less than other people. It’s a sub conscious judgement of ourselves as we compare ourselves to others. They are natural thoughts for us. We are told by people who live in one day at a time recovery we are no better or no worse than any other people. All people are equal. All people are worthy of love and belonging. I know that some people are better at some things than others. That doesn’t matter. We are all human beings. A recovering friend told me that they were not the person they want to be, and they were not the person they ought to be, but they were damned sure that they were not the person they used to be. It’s about a little bit of growth day by day by day.
For those of us who have lived in an unreal, or perhaps delusional world, will find much joy in reality. Mental health conditions complicated with addictions can often take us away from the real world of love, friendship, and freedom from the bondage of self. Awakening from a world in which we are held hostage, and being able to to be responsible for our health and well being is a great joy that we can find one day at a time. Some days can be difficult but reality can bring with it reasonable happiness and in this we can be happy, joyous, and free. We will discover the real self that lives within us. This is the self that has the courage to reach out for help to live in the joy of reality, and has the gratitude to try and give back to try and help others.