People who live in one day at a time recovery know that pride can get in the way of growth. If we don’t know this, we haven’t payed attention. Many of us know that pride can hamper our ability to accept, or to adapt, to a variety of circumstance and changes in life. Sometimes we still let pride take the lead in our decision making. Experience lets us recognize this, but often our ego will tell us we cannot be wrong. When pride is in the driver’s seat the ego is riding shotgun and co-pilot at the same time. This is when pride gets in the way. We become unteachable. Then reality sets in and teaches us a lesson. We put pride in the back seat and we fire the ego. We listen to those who can teach us. Then we are teachable and we learn life by living life one day at a time.
Some of us who live in one day at a time recovery know that recovery is a personal responsibility. We know that our spouses, partners, or anyone else that we might hope to share the load with are not. Some of us do, and will need support from others. Medical supports come from medical professionals. Life skills are also things we can learn from professionals. We can also pick up life skills from supports groups, twelve step programs, and other people who are competent in such matters. The thing about life skills is we have to apply them in our lives. If we already have our minds made up on what we are going to do, to either start recovery, or maintain our recovery, we could be wasting our time. Someone else’s too. If we are responsible enough to pay attention to someone other than our own sometimes misguided thoughts, we can do well. As was said, recovery is a personal responsibility. Pay attention.
There is a realization that comes to people in one day at a time recovery. This realization is that life is good. A realization that many of us have is that we find reality and we realize that we are not fundamentally different from others. We breathe, we eat, and we sleep. Though many of us feel like we’re different we are all fundamentally the same. Again – we breathe, we eat, and we sleep. We do gravitate towards people who share similarities with us because we all need love and belonging. People in one day at a time recovery know that life is good. We all have to adapt to difficult situations. We understand reality and being reasonably happy. The reality that we have found has also shown us we can be happy, joyous, and free. Joy does happen. Welcome to reality one day at a time. Be grateful.
Many people who live in one day at a time recovery wear the brave face of normal. In this case, the brave face of normal is doing well when you are tired. Not only tired, but edgy from being tired. This doesn’t only happen to people in one day at a time recovery. It happens to most mature individuals. We stay cordial and act decently to people. If we find that we cannot do this with people, when we are usually good at being cordial, we have to access our levels of activity and stress over the past few days, or perhaps the past couple of weeks. If we have been burning the candle at both ends, and if we are angry and critical, we need to rest. When rested, we can again wear the brave face of normal when needed. We live our wellness – one day at a time.
People who live in one day at a time recovery from concurrent disorders know that doing so is well worth the effort. We also know the work that it takes to stay in recovery can be difficult. First of all, we have to be honest with ourselves. If we do not learn how to help ourselves we can become ill. When ill, we can be irresponsible and careless, or we could lose touch with reality. We could also take risks that we would not when well. We could also become manic, or depressed, or suicidal. If we maintain our recovery, and if we participate in healthy decisions while acting accordingly, we will enjoy our lives. Even the struggles won’t seem so bad. Some of us have people in our lives but we don’t have the energy to socialize too much. As long as we are not pushing away those close to us we are more than likely okay. When we have people who are supportive of our recovery and our goals, people who know us, people who care about us, we will appreciate them. And we will learn the reality of life. Life isn’t perfect but it can be good. We put in the effort. We follow our treatment plan plus we partake in our support groups. And if we can, we also go to work. In addition to this, we know that it easier to stay in recovery one day at a time than it is come back from a relapse. Relapse is not a failure but it could be fatal. Put in the effort. It’s worth it.
Grace
At times you’re so grateful you can’t even cry
But inside fall the tears ever frightened and shy
For a child is born and they’re born to be free
For so gentle is grace and you finally see
For you’re kissed by the silence of innocent morns
The dew drops are dancing new beginnings are born
Imperfect perfection yet you’re hampered by fears
Of confusion and doubt but this grace is sincere
But at times you’re so grateful you can’t even cry
But inside fall the tears ever frightened and shy
For a child is born and they’re born to be free
For so gentle is grace and you finally see
The moment is magic when grace takes our hand
And we know we belong but we can’t understand
For we’ve wasted and tasted and hastened to live
Self-centered self-serving but it’s grace that forgives
At times you’re so grateful you can’t even cry
But inside fall the tears ever frightened and shy
For a child is born and they’re born to be free
For so gentle is grace and you finally see
And you think of the moment and the prodigal sons
The daughters the wives and the husbands that run
The sinners last dinners and thieves on the cross
The Buddha the pain and the times we have lost
When we feel we are nothing we know grace disagrees
It embraces with love helps us off of our knees
And at times you’re so grateful you can’t even cry
We’ve a moment of peace and we drop our disguise
And we know that we live as the prodigal sons
The daughters the wives and the husbands that run
The sinners last dinners and thieves on the cross
The Buddha the pain and the times we have lost
Many people who live in one day at a time recovery from mental health disorders and addiction have a conversation within their own minds. The conversation is should I share my experience with others publicly. If the answer appears as a yes, the first thing that we have to recognize is that we need to have boundaries. We need not to disclose anything that could hurt us, or other people. Many of us who have spoken in public know the importance of following a scripted talk. We know that our talk should be appropriate. Vincent Van Gough was a great artist and he wasn’t a great artist just because of his pain. He had skill. If people have questions many of them will come out of our talks. Be prepared. Leave it up to the professionals to diagnose and treat other people. We don’t prescribe or recommend medications. We can share only our experiences. Lastly, leave people with hope. One day at a time.
I have sat inside rooms with people who live in one day at a time recovery. Most of them are fairly adapted to life when they don’t use or drink. Most of them are able bodied and most of them have sound minds. I used to feel a little on the outs because many of them have no idea of what psychosis is all about. But in reality, some of them do. They talk about the coming down or the coming off of whatever they so chose to get or keep wasted on. They talk about the voices that were taking over. The thoughts of suicide and the suicide attempts. Some of these people were in such bad shape that they had little concept of reality. I have heard the stories of the people who were in the units. Even with these stories and experiences most of them don’t say they have, or had, a mental health disorder. Maybe they don’t. Maybe they didn’t. Sometimes when I am talking I will say that I am a disabled recovering psychotic after I identify myself as a person living in one day at a time recovery. It is a part of my story. You see, the units were not shameful for me. That is where one day at a time recovery begins for many people. Many people are beginning to understand this. In these rooms we are no longer alone and we are not out of our minds. We see the miracles begin.
There is a crazy freedom that people who are living in one day a time recovery get to experience. We learn to live reasonably happy lives which grants us the ability to be happy, joyous, and free. The reason we can have lives that are happy, joyous, and free is because we know and understand that what we claim is not hypocrisy because we do not claim to be perfect, better, happier, or in any way more spiritually fit than any other person. We know we merely claim to grow in emotional, mental, and spiritual health one day at a time. We understand the bondage of self and we become aware of this bondage when it appears. And it does appear to all of us. It’s called life. This bondage appeared much more when we lived our lives wrapped up solely in the unhealthy circumstances of active concurrent disorders. We know that people are more in love with humanity and life when they are emotionally, mentally, and spiritually healthy. This world becomes a much better place to live in in one day at a time recovery. We know the control freaks because we can be them, but we also learn to let go. We get better at dealing with stress. But in all reality we know that life has its pain. We can own it. We can process it. And we let it go. This is the crazy freedom that people living in one day at a time recovery get to experience. It’s a gift. Be grateful.
Many people have paid a high price to find one day at a time recovery from concurrent disorders. To start we have paid a huge financial cost to realize we had no choice but to accept that we needed help. We simply couldn’t stop drinking or using when we had to stop. Some of us lost everything we had, which in some cases might have been fortunes in security. Some of us lost the friendship and love of people who we cared dearly for. That’s an awful loss. Some of us were destroying our physical health while also damaging our brains and our minds. Some of us lost any semblance of reality that is found in a sober mind and we could not develop a mature sense of inherent self dignity which is something we can find in the one day at a time recovery. We lost the reality of freedom of choice. One day at a time recovery is not an exclusive group of people. We have all paid dearly to be free. We know how to find it. Reach out for help to find out how to help yourself. We need to find and use professional, peer, and natural supports. This also includes taking medication as prescribed for some of us. We need to stop adding to the cost that we will pay if we don’t get the help we need to help ourselves by living in recovery one day at a time.