Some people living in one day at a time recovery understand what it’s like to have periods of our life when we are people lacking gratitude. Lacking gratitude is an all or nothing frame of mind. What happens when we lack gratitude is nothing is good enough to satisfy an out of control ego. An example of this is we could get a gold medal at the Olympics but since we didn’t set a new world record we throw our gold medal into a river. This might sound like a ridiculous example but it’s true. Our egos become the critical parent who tells us our best isn’t good enough. It causes us pain. Many of us practice gratitude one day at a time. We learn to be gentle with ourselves and with others as well. Developing gratitude is a blessing. Practice it. You will become grateful. It’s a healthier reality. And we deserve it. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery need to understand that we are not unique. What we need to understand is that thoughts and beliefs that we are unique hinders personal growth and our ability to learn. Should we find ourselves in this unique position it is because we are people who struggle with flexibility and adaptability. In other words we have a persistent need to be in control. Needing to be in control is a common reality that many, many people have fallen into and it is a difficult reality to step out of. The end result of needing to be in control of everything and everyone really messes with our serenity. It turns most of us into troubled and resentful people. We need to let go to be well. It’s a tried and tested reality. Let go and let God. It’s a step into wellness. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery eventually will ask ourselves the question, “Do we need to be proud?” Please note that this question isn’t rhetorical. We need to answer it. Some of us who are recovering people who experienced and will experience many setbacks answer this question with a definite “Yes”. Our reality has become, because of our experience that we need to be so with much, much, much humility. Pride becomes the reality of a job well done but we know we are no more or no less than anybody else. We’re just people. Just plain people. It has taken a whole lot of grace for us to be in recovery. This is our humble reality. No better no worse. We can’t let ourselves go to our heads. It invites relapse. We know from experience. Be careful. Be humble. It’s all a gift that we really had to work for. Peace.
Many of us living in one day at a time recovery understand the difficult reality of when nothing’s said and done. If we could have read people’s minds we would have heard many wonderful speeches in the midst of many eye-opening interventions that would have saved us from our ruin years before we hit our actual bottom. The sad thing was was wasn’t their silence and their pain enough. Didn’t our impaired reality show itself in all of its actions and conversations. We had no choice but to discover our own desperation. Doing so we became ready to understand “when nothing’s said and done”. Our loved ones were as desperate for us to get help even more than we were. They were afraid. When we find recovery we understand this. Our life and our recovery is our responsibility. That is why we reach out. We realize that silence was enough. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery know that the financial cost of getting support from people in the rooms of recovery is truly scandalous. The reason we say that is because people in the rooms will help us to learn how we can help ourselves at the financial cost of absolutely nothing. There is no charge at least from them. When we listen a bit we will see the big financial cost was one that we had already paid which was to stay impaired time and time again. We also spent a lot of money foolishly and as irresponsible as we could. We knew no better. The reality of paying rent for our space is a cost many of gladly give to. If we don’t have it we are told don’t worry about it. We have all been there. Can we say when someone puts a couple of bucks in a basket to cover the expenses of the room is scandalous. Absolutely not. But if we can’t it’s cool. We’re realists. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery understand what it’s like not being heard by other people. It can become a reality that might either make or break our peace or contentment. Developing the reality of resilience is probably the only coping skill we can develop to maintain our own inherent dignity. What we need to accept is that many people and many peoples have lived this reality since the beginning of time. In the grand scheme of things not being heard by people is a cold hard reality. We need to take comfort in the fact that we are not alone. That is why we gather in church basements, coffee shops, and around kitchen tables. As recovering people we need to hear each other. We are each other’s saving grace. Peace.
Many people who are living in one day at a time recovery are people who are afraid of letting go. What we have discovered is that our biggest fear in all honesty is the inability of letting go of being in control. If we want to grow we have to learn to let people make their own mistakes. People have to function at their functioning levels and we should not interfere in the name of rescuing them. When we are continually rescuing someone we are actually manipulating their reality and we are interfering with their natural development. When we do this we can be doing more harm than good. This is like physically saving someone who is drowning in the shallow end when all we had to do was tell them to stand up. We need to ask ourselves why are we doing this. More than likely it’s because we are afraid. We need to let go. Many times it’s the best thing that we can do. Peace.
Many people who are living in one day at a time recovery are people who were one time living on the wrong side of the street. Our side of the street was always in the shadows of the bondage of active addiction. Even when people crossed over to our side to rescue us we were blind to the reality of their sunshine and their love. Our shadowy and littered sidewalks did nothing but try to pull them into our mess. When they walked away from our mess we tried to blame them for our woes claiming they had abandoned us. In moments of clarity we saw the darkness for what it was which was we chose to live in the shadow side of the street. We know it sounds completely ridiculous but we did. In desperation we reached out and found help. We chose to cross the street. It was that simple. Our desperation became our greatest asset. We gained the power of choice one day at a time. We became responsible. Peace.
Most people living in one day at a time recovery know that when we are living in active addiction we don’t go unscathed through such realities and very often wind up holding the bag of addiction’s consequences which often leaves us in a state of dismay. We lose jobs and destroy relationships because of our impaired behaviors. Our irresponsible reality often frustrates our loved ones because they often have to rescue us from financial ruin because we spend everything we have with no thought about rent, groceries, and the other necessities of life. If we are lucky the desperation of our situation will open our eyes enough that we seek help. Those of us who are living in recovery remember this. Active addiction hurts everyone. Our desperation taught us this. Everyone who finds recovery didn’t do so unscathed. It’s a cold hard reality. Reach out. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery understand that the practice of abstinence creates a total shift in being. We become people who were at one time lonely and alone but when we found abstinence we started to feel the connection that we were developing with other recovering people. Another reality we began to feel was we were also beginning to develop a sense of belonging with not just other recovering people but somehow someway we were becoming people who were experiencing a sense of grace form God, the spirit, or the universe and that this grace had kept us safe and alive under its watchful eye and its loving power. We had gone from desperate to grateful in a few blinks of this loving power’s eye. We call this a one day at a time modern day miracle under the reality of freedom. Peace.