Many people who are living in one day at a time recovery understand the reality of being prodigals. The reality of being a prodigal is sometimes, even after many years of recovery, we are so caught up in the false reality of our own stories we actually believe the lies that we tell ourselves in order that we may protect the status quo of our shadow-selves thereby believing we are way more important than we really are. In other words we become little control freaks trying to manage the rooms of recovery and make them havens for our own little egos because we have the need to be in control of our own lives and our own one day at a time recovery. We say, “Welcome prodigals! Welcome to the real world. Do you see where you are. You are here and you are here because of grace. Nothing else has brought you here.” Because of this understanding we will see we have done nothing to find recovery. It found us. Be humble prodigal. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery understand the need to develop a special humility. In this humility we whole-heartedly believe that our recovery is a gift. What we need to accept is that our gift will not help everyone who realistically needs to find one day at a time recovery even though we might like to believe it will. Our humility tells us this would be unwise for us to even try to. If people cannot identify with us we have very little that they would want. It’s like trying to force our recovery on them. They will just shut us down whether we know it or not. If they are drawn to us perhaps we can help. Then and only then will they be receptive to our story. When they see the miracle of abstinence and want it they will grow. This becomes the reality of belonging. We cannot push them. Then we pray, “let the miracle begin” for them, for us, for everyone. One day at a time recovery works. It’s a humbling reality. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery understand that pride is a double-edged sword. Many of us who come into recovery understand that if we are currently unemployed we should try and find work. As we begin our search we might believe that some work is below us. This can keep us unemployed for a long time. On the other hand, if we do find employment, and if we take pride in our work, employers might consider us as assets who have the right attitude as employees. Advancement and raises happen to those of us do take pride in our work. A good employee also has humility. It’s a reality. it is also a beneficial life skill because some people refuse to be told what to do. Here is a little secret in the work-world. Our supervisors can tell us what to do. It’s a reality. Peace.
Some people living in one day at a time recovery understand what it’s like to have periods of our life when we are people lacking gratitude. Lacking gratitude is an all or nothing frame of mind. What happens when we lack gratitude is nothing is good enough to satisfy an out of control ego. An example of this is we could get a gold medal at the Olympics but since we didn’t set a new world record we throw our gold medal into a river. This might sound like a ridiculous example but it’s true. Our egos become the critical parent who tells us our best isn’t good enough. It causes us pain. Many of us practice gratitude one day at a time. We learn to be gentle with ourselves and with others as well. Developing gratitude is a blessing. Practice it. You will become grateful. It’s a healthier reality. And we deserve it. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery need to understand that we are not unique. What we need to understand is that thoughts and beliefs that we are unique hinders personal growth and our ability to learn. Should we find ourselves in this unique position it is because we are people who struggle with flexibility and adaptability. In other words we have a persistent need to be in control. Needing to be in control is a common reality that many, many people have fallen into and it is a difficult reality to step out of. The end result of needing to be in control of everything and everyone really messes with our serenity. It turns most of us into troubled and resentful people. We need to let go to be well. It’s a tried and tested reality. Let go and let God. It’s a step into wellness. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery eventually will ask ourselves the question, “Do we need to be proud?” Please note that this question isn’t rhetorical. We need to answer it. Some of us who are recovering people who experienced and will experience many setbacks answer this question with a definite “Yes”. Our reality has become, because of our experience that we need to be so with much, much, much humility. Pride becomes the reality of a job well done but we know we are no more or no less than anybody else. We’re just people. Just plain people. It has taken a whole lot of grace for us to be in recovery. This is our humble reality. No better no worse. We can’t let ourselves go to our heads. It invites relapse. We know from experience. Be careful. Be humble. It’s all a gift that we really had to work for. Peace.
Many of us living in one day at a time recovery understand the difficult reality of when nothing’s said and done. If we could have read people’s minds we would have heard many wonderful speeches in the midst of many eye-opening interventions that would have saved us from our ruin years before we hit our actual bottom. The sad thing was was wasn’t their silence and their pain enough. Didn’t our impaired reality show itself in all of its actions and conversations. We had no choice but to discover our own desperation. Doing so we became ready to understand “when nothing’s said and done”. Our loved ones were as desperate for us to get help even more than we were. They were afraid. When we find recovery we understand this. Our life and our recovery is our responsibility. That is why we reach out. We realize that silence was enough. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery know that the financial cost of getting support from people in the rooms of recovery is truly scandalous. The reason we say that is because people in the rooms will help us to learn how we can help ourselves at the financial cost of absolutely nothing. There is no charge at least from them. When we listen a bit we will see the big financial cost was one that we had already paid which was to stay impaired time and time again. We also spent a lot of money foolishly and as irresponsible as we could. We knew no better. The reality of paying rent for our space is a cost many of gladly give to. If we don’t have it we are told don’t worry about it. We have all been there. Can we say when someone puts a couple of bucks in a basket to cover the expenses of the room is scandalous. Absolutely not. But if we can’t it’s cool. We’re realists. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery understand what it’s like not being heard by other people. It can become a reality that might either make or break our peace or contentment. Developing the reality of resilience is probably the only coping skill we can develop to maintain our own inherent dignity. What we need to accept is that many people and many peoples have lived this reality since the beginning of time. In the grand scheme of things not being heard by people is a cold hard reality. We need to take comfort in the fact that we are not alone. That is why we gather in church basements, coffee shops, and around kitchen tables. As recovering people we need to hear each other. We are each other’s saving grace. Peace.
Many people who are living in one day at a time recovery are people who are afraid of letting go. What we have discovered is that our biggest fear in all honesty is the inability of letting go of being in control. If we want to grow we have to learn to let people make their own mistakes. People have to function at their functioning levels and we should not interfere in the name of rescuing them. When we are continually rescuing someone we are actually manipulating their reality and we are interfering with their natural development. When we do this we can be doing more harm than good. This is like physically saving someone who is drowning in the shallow end when all we had to do was tell them to stand up. We need to ask ourselves why are we doing this. More than likely it’s because we are afraid. We need to let go. Many times it’s the best thing that we can do. Peace.