Most people living in one day at a time recovery have times we feel empty. We feel we are drawing a blank. Many people living with mental health disorders complicated with addictions simply won’t accept that they are ill. Denial is a symptom of such disorders. This denial is frustrating to our families and friends. Many people believe that people living with these disorders choose this as a lifestyle. If we can believe this lifestyle as an unhealthy choice, perhaps grace becomes possible. Maybe then more people will consider our disorders as an illness. Most of us in recovery can see the frustrations that our disorders cause, or have caused others. It’s a reality. Life is hard. Can we help? Most of us don’t know. At times we’re just drawing a blank. Very often denial gets in the way. May God, the spirit or the universe help us all. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery discover writing helps us to become healthy. As we write down our thoughts we discover what the reality of our life is. What we have discovered is we are enough. We are enough is the reality many of us need to hear. We all can feel hurt, distraught, or depressed at sometime in our lives. The writing of our thoughts and feelings reveal to us we are human beings in need of love and connection. Illness has a way of not letting us see that love and connection are right in front of us. The disappointment that we might believe that our lives may be is a distorted reality of our disorders. Some of us take medication. Talk to your doctor. Writing has helped us to live healthy lives. Life is not perfect but it’s good. You are enough. Peace.
Some people living in one day at a time recovery try to write on a daily basis. In doing so we are organizing thoughts. In doing so we are creating coherent thoughts of our being. Some of us share our thoughts on the web in hopes that we might help someone know that they are not alone living with mental health disorders that are complicated by addictions. We try and let them know that they too can live in one day at a time recovery. We know that we don’t want to be role models. Few people with any time in recovery would choose to want that. And we know that we lack a certain amount of righteousness, and if we claim we don’t, we are probably standing on thin ice. In addition to this we know we found the gift of desperation, and today we create coherent thoughts of our being. When you read this you are reading our worth and the worth of our one day at a time recovery. We are the ones who live with the stigma but, “If you cut us do we not bleed…” Shakespeare “The Merchant of Venice”. Peace.
People who live life one day at a time know that recovery requires us to mature. As we develop maturity, we learn that being mature is not the same as living a clinical and somber life. We also know that maturity has no set chronological age or certain amount of years in which we have lived life one day at a time. Often we find we are simply entertaining maturity which is really our ability to adapt to life and its emotions. It’s our reality of holding it together when we need to. We are also entertaining maturity when we have the strength to reach out when we are in struggle. We are living in maturity when we realize and accept that we don’t have to live our lives and our recovery alone. Maturity happens when it does. It’s not all about us. It’s a challenging gift. Peace.
Those of us who live one day at a time know that life is a challenging responsibility. We also know that life and its challenge of responsibility is a gift. Participating in our responsibilities does not mean we have to move mountains. It means we live in our wellness but when our wellness is challenged we do our best to practice self-care. This also means we might have to reach out for support from others. With saying that, we know that we can bounce back into our wellness being grateful for the ability to step back, take care of ourselves and also appreciate how the support of others helped us to re-participate in the more demanding aspect of our lives. One day at a time recovery is an awesome tool to be used in such matters. Life is a challenging responsibility. The paradox is responsibility is a gift. Peace.
People living in one day at a time recovery can be compared to broken strong dead trees. We, who understand the pain of addiction, and the bondage it has over us lived with tombstones in our eyes. We could no longer live with, or without, whatever it was that enslaved us. When this happens we can no longer bend with the struggles and responsibilities of life.
(And strong dead trees just will not bend
But eventually they break
For he’s caged by pain that no-one sees
Such a silent lonely ache
But perhaps a sudden flash of light
Will dry the tears that fall
And now he coasts in search of hope
But he’s sort of blind like Saul.
Saint Paul or Saul he’ll never be
He’s a broken strong dead tree…)
We could no longer bend to the needs of addiction. We reached out for help. When broken strong dead trees reach out for help strong new trees will grow. This is a new reality for many of us. Hospitals, detoxes, treatment centers, and professional counseling can help us. Support groups and 12 step programs have helped to save our lives. Reach out. Become a strong new tree. Peace.
Many of us living in one day at a time recovery start our mornings asking for a bit of help. We turn to God, the spirit, the creator, the energy, or the universe in hopes that we will be healthy. We ask this power to help us to be abstinent and responsible. In doing so, if the day turns out to be a good day, or a bad day, more than likely we will be alright. We know this too shall pass. Some of us, as tradition has taught us, kneel down before asking for help. Some of us ask for help while we are showering. Some of us sit on the side of our bed as we request help. We have learned not to force our beliefs on others. Our reality is it helps us to feel connected to something bigger than ourselves. It gives us faith. Peace.
Many people who are living life one day at a time know we have to spend time stitching up our hearts. We do this so we can heal and let the pain go. Pain comes to everyone and no-one is immune to it. (For how we know the rain must fall and every person shall feel pain… But is shall pass as I recall we let it go or go insane) Some people simply call it “Letting Go”. When we begin letting go we start to spend time stitching up our hearts. Most of us find forgiveness helps. Forgiveness for ourselves, for others and for institutions, including God, the spirit, the creator or the universe. Some of us wonder why we should stitch up our hearts when they’re just going to be ripped open again. We do so because we are resilient. When we do this we are believing in faith, hope and love, and we are making the world a much better place. For us and everyone. Peace.
Some people living life one day at a time believe we are sabotaging our recovery when we feel the need to be in control all the time. Needing to be in control can be an anxiety promoting endeavor. We cannot control the universe and everyone in it. Many of us went from losing control when getting buzzed on something turned into us always winding up getting wasted. We found total abstinence to be the answer. As we practiced recovery, the quest for control of everyone and everything grew rapidly. Control would give us that sense of ease that we once knew. Little did we realize we weren’t controlling our addiction. We switched it to being in control. The need to always be in control took over our lives and we felt lost. In defeat we decided to put everyone and everything under the care of God, the spirit, or the universe, and we started to feel much better. We realized that that we were gaining peace and contentment. We learned what we could do and what we could not do. And we became less anxious knowing our true responsibilities and our real reality. Peace.
Those of us who have been in recovery for a few years know change happens. This is a reality. We change. Hopefully we have picked up a few more coping skills as time passes. Often we feel more comfortable around people and our levels of adaptation and flexibility grow. We become more considerate and thoughtful towards other people. For most of us we cannot say we have seen the light or that we have been reborn, but we do try and travel our journeys one day at a time. As difficult as they might be, our journeys are a little lighter. We no longer choose to be too important though we know we do fit into the grand scheme of things. We believe that maybe some day we can help someone else. And we believe God, the spirit, or perhaps the universe is our friend. When we come to this point in our journey we start to be aware of selfless love. It’s a reality we partake in from time to time. Not always but every once in a while. Change happens. One day at a time the journey continues. Not perfectly but as it should. It’s our new reality. Peace