Many of us living in one day at a time recovery understand that our reality is that there will be times that we put our foot in our mouths. When we do it’s a reality that is an embarrassing situation not only for ourselves but also for others especially if we say something that could be embarrassing for them. Sometimes when we put our foot in our mouths it creates a shameful reality for ourselves. Our concerned reality is that hopefully we don’t cause shame for others. When we do this there is a pretty rapid inner voice that says to us, “Why did I say that?” If we have caused embarrassment or shame for others we need to apologize. Then our best reality might become is that we stop putting our foot in our mouths. When we do so we are gaining awareness. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery live our lives with intention. As we live trying to help others, we know we are trying to help ourselves. In all reality we can only keep what we have by giving it away. We know that we share our recovery (our experience, strength and hope) to help others. We do this on purpose, driven by empathy and gratitude. In doing so we can tell others that we know what their pain and their difficulties are like. We can also say that we know their happiness, joy and hope. We let them know that others did this for us. Sharing and support are two way streets. They help us all. We understand that our sharing our recovery is a selfishly selfless endeavor. We also know that we cannot share with others what we don’t have or what we have never experienced because this is the reality of life. In regards to such a situation we have to say that we do not know, and we must let others know they need to look elsewhere. This is particularly true in regards to medical situations. When we know this we know the reality of recovery. We don’t know everything. In addition to this we cannot forget the truth of our intention is that we selfishly selflessly try to help others. We need to be healthy for this. We can only keep what we have by giving it away. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery understand the reality of turning the page. When we do as such we are about to understand the experience and the reality of the unwritten day. What we will uncover could be the writing of something familiar or something totally unknown. In reality many of us read these writings paying no attention to what is on this new page as we ruminate about past pages that were written long ago. We are getting nothing out of the newly turned pages during such ruminations. Sooner or later we learn we are the ones who are writing these pages. When we do this we often change the script and not only do we turn the pages but we start a new chapter. Writing new chapters and turning the pages become liberating endeavors. We learn to let go of the past pages that had become prisons in themselves. Each time we turn a new new page we are writing about hope. We also discover we can pay attention as we read these newly written pages. In as such we are learning we grow. This is the reality of the written word setting us free as we turn the page. We are learning to let go and take ownership of our stories. Some of us do so in therapy or with spiritual advisors. In our reality we turn the page. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery live in the present day. Living in the present day does not mean we cannot plant the garden of tomorrow. The reason we plant the garden of tomorrow this present day is because its harvest is a necessity for tomorrow. We know we must eat. It is the brave souls among us who buy the seed and ready the soil. When the soil is readied at the right time of the spring, the seed is planted. The brave souls among us know how to weed and water the garden. They know what pesticides to spray the garden with, and they know how to harvest the crop. These brave souls also know how to preserve and store the bounty. They also now how to bring the crop to market. One day at a time the garden of tomorrow is the garden of today. The brave souls who did all this had hope for tomorrow. Always they lived in today. We can too. Give thanks. It’s important. Someone or something made the earth, the seed, the water, and the planter. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery understand the reality of thinking without generosity. Such thinking tends to be a function of egoic impairment. Thought without generosity creates an uneven playing field because when we do so we subscribe to such thoughts as believing we are more valuable than others or others are more valuable than us. The catch 22 of this is when we observe ourselves doing this, our egos then say, “How dare we think such a way” which is another attempt at its need for superiority. Somewhere in the midst of all this we understand just how positively human we are. We even stop listening to our non-generous judgement and we don’t react to its need to belittle or control. We learn a generous and kind reality and we live a generous and kind humility. It’s part of growth. Peace.
Many people living life one day at a time know the meaning of discovering real recovery. In all our pomposity many of us believe that we, by our own accord, can conquer or overcome our shadow self, in spite of all evidence contrary to such beliefs. When we finally come to terms that the shadow self has been a part of us for many years we might even learn that all people including ourselves are imperfect. When we understand this we understand that the need for universal grace is a universal reality. Everyone needs a break, including ourselves. We can let go of the facade and embrace the beginning of living real recovery. Real growth will, or has begun. It’s a gift. Peace.
Some people living in one day at a time recovery understand the realities of fear, envy, resentment, and shame. When these emotions hit us we might fall into the reality of seeing only ourselves. Fear can hold us back and keep us from participating in recovery. When resting in fear we can become envious of those who do recovery and life well. We might even become resentful. When these emotions join together it is a good possibility that shame will find us (our fragile egos can be a funny thing can’t they). Shame takes us to a place where we are capable of seeing only ourselves. Those of us who have been around the rooms of recovery for a while know that this can happen to all of us. When we have grown a bit we will understand everything’s not always about us. It’s a one day at a time lesson in life. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery understand and experience the reality of when reasoning begins. This is the reality of knowing our limitations and understanding the reality of being able to follow directions. One of the limitations we have as people is that we cannot expect the benefits of one day at a time recovery if we will not abide in the reality that we all need support. In other words life and recovery can be difficult. This is the reality of human limitation. To remedy this we seek out support (be it professional or peer). We will also need to follow direction. Should we be able to do this is the reality of when reasoning begins. We realize we don’t have to do life and recovery all by ourselves. We get to experience the reality of being free from the bondage of active addiction. It’s a remarkable gift. Peace.
Just having coffee with a friend is a good way to step out of the stress of daily life. We, who live in one day at a time recovery, can know the stressors of work and its commitments. We also have other stressors. Perhaps we have recovery obligations or we have volunteer work that we have to do. We have people depending on us. Maybe we should make that coffee a decaf. A decaf with a friend is better than going for just one of what we used to use, that in all honesty, can start the whole cycle of active addiction all over again. Most of us know this from experience. For most of us this isn’t our first chance at recovery. If we are paying attention we know better. Instead of using we can go for a coffee. Give and take happens during coffee conversations. It can be about nothing – it can be about something. It is whatever we make it. Go have a coffee because for some of us it’s a break from the aloneness that can plague us in our own minds. It works and we’re worth it. One day at a time.
Those of us who live in one day at a time recovery know that gratitude is an invitation to belonging. And when we know this, we know belonging is the gift of being loved. And in so, this gift of belonging reveals to us that we are grateful to be alive. We have learned to love ourselves and our commitment to being, and staying healthy, one day at a time. We find ourselves on an imperfect journey of acceptance and wellness. Sometimes we grow in leaps and bounds. Sometimes we stumble, stutter, and fall. Nonetheless we stand again, belonging in the mystery of our journey, hoping our eyes will be open to the joys we shall find and the lessons we can learn. Grace will no longer be a mystery and we shall gratefully acknowledge being aware we are as valuable to life as the gift of the rising sun. We can smile, or we can weep, because we now know no matter what, we belong.