Most of us living in one day at a time recovery know what it is like to be tangled amongst the reeds of emptiness. Our reality is another busy, gray, or melancholic day becomes real, and in our reality we want to throw in the towel in order to escape the reeds. Often we do so by prioritizing our responsibilities and very often our priority is for us to do something we enjoy because we are capable of understanding that being tangled amongst the reeds can be an empty lonely place. We need not to construct a home in the reeds. What some of us discover is when we let go of our emptiness by prioritizing our responsibilities, we find our way out of the reeds. If such self-efforts don’t untangle us, we reach out for help. We need not face these days alone. This is what coffee shops, kitchen tables, mentors and counsellors’ offices are for. It’s the brave thing to do. Peace.
Some people living in one day at a time recovery spend much time writing, talking, and doing, while trying to prove that they are worthy of the title worthwhile productive human beings who are in all reality worthy of being, and deserve the realities of love and belonging. This is especially true of those of us who lack the reality of financially beneficial marketable skills. In others words disabled enough to the degree that we cannot maintain gainful employment. Such a condition in and of itself can cause enough anxiety that we can become opposed to the opinions and suggestions of others even though we might benefit from their experience. Life can become an extremely difficult endeavor when we cannot listen, and not being able to listen is disabling in itself. With a bit of humility we get to understand opposing views are not always wrong. It’s reality. Peace.
What many people living in one day at a time recovery come to understand is that when we grow in recovery we are actually stumbling to our feet. As we stumble to our feet we are not only seeing our wayward excursions or our self-centered survival beliefs, we see the reality of our faith. Such faith is as individuals we have stumbled and risen many times not only in active addiction but during our one day at a time recovery as well. This is what life is all about. Not only in our stumbling but in our stumbling so badly that we rise to our feet. This becomes the reality of our growth one day at a time. As Richard Rohr would say – we have fallen upward. Hang on and experience the growth and watch the joy begin. Not only in ourselves but in everyone else as well. It’s a continuing journey. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery understand that the houses we create while living in recovery must have windows in them. The purpose of these windows is to show us that there is more than just the egocentric bound up form of recovery that we sometimes believe is the only reality we need to know. Such recovery becomes a stagnant reality and sooner or later we will see the need and the desire to be a part of the outside world as we peer through the widows seeing there is more to life and recovery than we might know. Most of us find that we long for community and its purpose of togetherness. Our inextricable connection with others leads us outside of our houses into a joint purpose of we and we realize the gift of we. We belong in we. It’s a better reality. Peace.
After being in recovery for a while we realize we are often opposed to direction from others when we are anxious and afraid. It seems that the fight, flight, or freeze response kicks in and we fight, flee or disassociate from the current situation. It appears that we instinctively want the anxiety and fear to stop immediately because we often feel we are under attack by such feelings. We feel and react first. We think later. Sometimes we’ll even storm out of a counsellor’s office because such responses have kicked in and we need to say no. After such an instance fear and pride might keep us from returning to attentively seek help. This is a lonely reality. It’s more common than we think. What we understand while living in one day at a time recovery is that time takes time. Recovery is a process. Reach out and learn. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery learn to find our imperfection in the broken. We find in our disorders we struggled, made mistakes, fell apart, and that many of us damn near died because of active addiction and the disappointment and despair that it brought to us. We had become a well armored, rigid combatant believing we could defeat any struggle and wash away any pain contrary to all the evidence trying to show to us how imperfectly broken we were and still can be to this very day. This imperfection reveals to us that in our humanity we live in our resilience and that in our resilience we can live happy, joyous, and free lives. We experienced and still experience enough of the broken to understand imperfection enough to find and stay in recovery. It brings with it the gift of grace. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery know the reality of rising in the darkness. Rising in the darkness are such thoughts as I need help, God help me, no more, I have to stop, and how do I stop? In this darkness we rise and reach out. The more desperate we feel in the darkness the more apt we are to surrender to the need for help. When we reach out we sometimes we will be admitted to a hospital or a detox center. There are often times such places have saved our lives. We need to remember this and admit to our desperation. It takes courage to do so. In as such if we remain in recovery we will process how bad off we were, and we will see how rising in the darkness actually brought us the gift of desperation. It’s a reality many of us experience. Understanding the importance of needing continuing support, many of us turn to support groups, twelve step programs, and professional after care. They can help keep us healthy as we rise out of the darkness. Reach out. Life is a doable joy. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery eventually develop the ability to see the sightless sights. The sightless sights are such things as love, compassion, and concern. They are also developing an ability to see such things as people living happy, joyous, and free lives. When we see such sightless sights we are experiencing the gift of clarity. This is what one day at a time recovery is all about which is seeing with new eyes. It appears we had to experience the darkness found in addiction before we could see what we could not see before which was the love, compassion, and concern from happy, joyous, and free people. Today we still experience the darkness but when we look hard enough we also see the sightless sights. In time we learn to share this view with others. Peace.
Some people living in one day at a time recovery live in a reality between the need to be certain and the need to be able to let things go. The constant not knowing if we are in a safe-place or not exacerbates feelings of fear and being out of control. What happens is we develop a need to find the calmness we would find that certainty and safety would give to us. Such uncertainty, usually caused by past traumatic experiences, magnifies the stress of everyday life. Not being able to process or let go of such fear is one of the reasons we became addicted people. It appears some of us live in the shadows of such pain with reoccurring difficulty in regards to being able to let some things go. What we know is that the body keeps score. With help, we feel safe again. Reach out. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery understand the reality of a sometimes lonely entitlement. This occurs when we are feeling good but feeling good can leave us feeling as if we are people experiencing the pain of lonely entitlement. We find we are passing harsh judgement upon ourselves. In a depressive state we feel alone and not deserving of feeling good. In reality, we look to see past such lonely entitlement and subscribe to the reality of deserving grace. Deserving grace holds lonely entitlement at bay because grace is an act of love wherein God, the spirit, or the universe is smiling upon us in ways usually expressed through the actions and words that others share with us. Our entitlement is we are loved in our inextricable connections with others. It’s a gift. Peace.