Many people living in one day at a time recovery struggle with perfectionism and control. They are both characteristics of our fears and insecurities. Our reality is if we could become as perfect as we think we should we would have been perfect long before our lives became unmanageable or out of control and we would have never became people prone to the characteristics of living in such a state such as becoming people living with the characteristics of self-will run riot. In recovery we know this and we learn to let go. We learn to see past our emotional, psychological and spiritual blindness. We see we are one of many but we are one with those we are akin with. When we discover this we learn what we can control and what we cannot. We learn to accept what we cannot change and we change what we can. In time, and time takes time, we will learn what we can change and what we cannot change. We learn to let go and God, the spirit or the universe will welcome us to reality and its gifts of freedom and imperfection. It’s a wonderful journey when our eyes are open. Peace.
Those of us who have been around other recovering people understand the rose colored glasses of mythological recovery. One day at a time recovery brings with it reality and reality can bring with it slips, relapses, loss of jobs, deaths, breakups, illnesses, prejudices, resentments, failures and emotional or psychological blindness. If we believe that such things will never happen to us or those we are close with we are believing in what can only be perceived as mythological recovery. Yes we know that we have seen others live in complete abstinence throughout their lives from the beginning of recovery until they take their final breath. In doing so we see some of them as heroes. Our reality is we all struggle at times and if we have been around the rooms of recovery we will see where some of our heroes have fallen. Some of us have had the responsibility of such struggles or falls. We admit this with humility. We live in accordance with a humble view of mostly good enough, sometimes worse but often better. Reason, gratitude and joy reveal this to us. We learn to open our eyes and join real life and its imperfections. It’s our freedom. Mostly good enough, sometimes worse but often better. We live it. Peace.
Many people living in one day at a time recovery understand the reality of the turnabout. This is the reality of when recovery turns our resentments into an opportunity to love. If we do not seek such a change in our journey we can become bitter, angry and sometimes malicious people. We who are capable of carrying such resentment understand the reality of such bitterness. It is, or was, part of our journey. After a period of reflection we understand this. We have observed our egoic resentment and claimed ownership of it. In reality we were blaming others for our own feelings of inadequacy. Thus we know the reality of how dare they. In recovery we learn different and in accepting this we find ourselves journeying into the reality of the turnabout. Imperfect love and imperfect understanding become our reality. This means we become witness to our resentments and we become better at letting them go. In reality we are starting to understand what can be perceived as agape love. The turnabout is a one day at a time gift as we awaken to a better reality. Peace.
Many of us who find support in our struggle to stay clean and sober in the rooms of recovery understand that there are times when we feel that we just don’t fit in. This is especially true for those who live with mental health conditions. We who live with the disabling affects of our disorder or differing thought patterns often feel anxious and overwhelmed and in being so often feel looked down upon because we don’t spew courage and confidence when we try and share certain facets of our journeys. Rest assured that those who seem like they are pinnacles of courage and confidence haven’t experienced our adversity and if they did they would never look down on us. Those who look down on us do not have a clue as to what one day at a time recovery is all about. We are no worse or no better than any other human being. Any differing perspective invokes this funny little thing that is called a resentment. We all have them from time to time. They are a condition of being or becoming recovering people. Reality tells us to let them go. We need not give up our seats for anyone who thinks otherwise. Remember this. Peace.
Those of us living in one day at a time understand the reality of grace, joy and gratitude. This is the welcomed and receptive attitude towards life, recovery and reality. This is the world of togetherness between ourselves and others in an inextricable connection of hope and love. Grace, joy and gratitude are practices of recovery which happen just enough for us to understand hope and love. Those of us who have been in what we call imperfect recovery for many years have a deep sense of gratitude for our one day at a time recovery which throughout the years has brought us much joy and grace. We can tell people in the early years of recovery staying in recovery is worth it, and we let them know they have purposes some of which are to understand grace, joy and gratitude and our inextricable connection with each other sprinkled with the reality that life can be difficult but God, the spirit or the universe gives us the strength and the ability to persevere and carry on. In doing so the books balance in abundance with grace, joy and gratitude. This is the reality of recovery. It’s what we call acceptance. Peace.
Many of us living in one day at a time recovery understand the importance of challenging reality especially when reality is difficult. Here is the truth about difficult which is for most of us it’s always just around the corner. We need to challenge it with self-care, reality checking, celebrating small victories, and also by reaching out. Somehow, somewhere, or someway in there we will deal with difficulty moment by moment one day at a time. Challenging adversity isn’t always easy but when we are dealing with times of fear or other unsettling emotions we have to take into consideration the question – is there anything that can be done about the situations that are causing these difficulties? Some of us understand that sometimes all we can do is accept reality and our only answer is to accept any solution that makes such difficulties easier to live with as long as such solutions are not to reach for the bottle, the puff or whatever addiction that we are now living in recovery from nor do we do anything to harm ourselves or others. This is of the utmost importance. We must accept this. Reach out! Difficulties can be challenged and overcome. We’ll be okay. Peace.
The reality of living in one day at a time recovery is that some people can’t help us. That’s reality. The people who can help us are people who are only an arm’s length away from a drink, a puff, a pill, a hit, a high or a roll. Then too there are those with learned knowledge who can teach us life skills, give us medical care and explain cognitive realities to us in order that we might face each day. Our reality is we have to find and maintain one day at a time abstinence from whatever our addiction is. People who are in recovery and know that they are only an arm’s length away from picking up tell us this time after time after time. We need to listen to the voice of experience. When we do we will learn to live in reality and we can say we are mostly good enough, sometimes worse but often better. People who don’t have learned knowledge or don’t have experience in living in one day at a time recovery just can’t help us because they are often our biggest enablers. When they learn that we need to be responsible for our own recovery they begin to understand and perhaps then we will get to see this reality ourselves. When we do we find recovery one day at a time. Peace.
Those of us who are living in one day at a time recovery understand what it is like to become adults and to own our stories. Part of owning our stories is forgiving ourselves and also forgiving others. What we also recognize is we need to forgive life itself for its difficulties, its weaknesses and the realities of guilt, shame and remorse. All of these are tangible events that are real as real can be. The paradox is that they pave our way to peace being ever so easy to recall and revisit and they do so by developing a concerned conscience within our being for letting go while understanding the reality of it is was it is but what it is is now as it was. We need not suffer a life-time for a troubled and impaired reality and when we become adults who own our stories we forgive our disorders, or illnesses for being a part of the human condition. By this time we have accepted reality and struggle as difficult as they may be. As ridiculous as it might seem because of this we experience the joy of freedom, adulthood and sobriety. Our level of concern for others has grown immensely. We become the guardians of recovery’s responsibilities, wisdoms and gifts. We are the ones who live it. Peace.
Some people living in one day at a time recovery understand the reality of our nature being the writer of our songs. The insecure fear influenced nature of our egos tends to build up the need and the desire to be certain and secure in its own existence telling us I was, I am, and I will be in control of my own fate and my own destiny thus I will be safe, happy, joyous and free. This is the reality of feeling the need to be in control when life seems to be out of control. It’s the reality of the overly depressive, frightened and angry songs that we write. This is the result of being human. Some call it self-centered fear. In all truth it is the result of trauma and human insecurity. Recovering people can struggle. Struggle is a part of growth and maturation and maturation introduces us to yesterday, today and tomorrow. We need to make peace with this. Richard Rohr has said that we get to know ourselves at the cost of our own innocence. It takes most of us a life-time to understand this and in doing so we meet human reality. We all need. That’s it. We all need security. It’s an absolute truth. Without it we will struggle. That’s why we need each other and in this we might find the reality of our songs change. That is the joy of kinship and belonging. We’re not alone. There is much to be said about that. It’s a gift. Peace.
People living in one day at a time recovery understand the reality that we all have the ability to help one another at one point or another in our journeys seeking reality and good health for ourselves and for those we are akin with. Some of these recovering empathetic souls share the wisdom of their experience, strength and hope in the rooms of recovery and in such rooms we might hear exactly what we need to hear at that exact right moment in time. This is the gift of identification. This gift brings with it the hope of I can stay in recovery one more day. In addition to this recovery gives us all the ability to help others. Those of us who are familiar with the rooms of recovery might never know if we say something that helps another of us to get through just one more day. It can save lives. Recovery is a humble reality. It’s based on people helping people. We have to give it away to be able to keep it. Peace.