Those of us living in one day a time recovery are witnesses to an act of love. We learn, as we grow, that empathy, care and concern are a three stage act of love. Sometimes we witness this act of love from our loved ones, or from some other person, or people. They feel for, and with us, when we are unwell. They become – with us. This is empathy. The second stage of this act of love is that they care for us. They take us to hospitals, detoxes, and treatment centers. They might even help us with other needs, or wants. Then they are concerned for us. This is the third stage of this act of love we are witnesses to. They pray, worry, and at times, even set boundaries if we simply refuse to help ourselves. They know we are ill but what more can they do. And while we have been witnesses to this act of love, we cannot fully recognize this unless we find recovery. We learn to see this love in doctors, nurses, case workers, recovering people, and others we come in contact with. In reality, we have been brought back to life. Be grateful.
Just having coffee with a friend is a good way to step out of the stress of daily life. We, who live in one day at a time recovery, can know the stressors of work and its commitments. We also have other stressors. Perhaps we have recovery obligations or we have volunteer work that we have to do. We have people depending on us. Maybe we should make that coffee a decaf. A decaf with a friend is better than going for just one of what we used to use, that in all honesty, can start the whole cycle of active addiction all over again. Most of us know this from experience. For most of us this isn’t our first chance at recovery. If we are paying attention we know better. Instead of using we can go for a coffee. Give and take happens during coffee conversations. It can be about nothing – it can be about something. It is whatever we make it. Go have a coffee because for some of us it’s a break from the aloneness that can plague us in our own minds. It works and we’re worth it. One day at a time.
Those of us who live in one day at a time recovery know the reality of being okay. When we are okay our recovery is working, and there are many things we are doing to stay healthy and to keep us on the beam. Being okay also brings with it the gratitude, and the concerns, of being people living our lives one day at a time. We take our everyday precautions and most of us acknowledge upon waking that we need help to live our lives. We reach out trying to help others, and when needed we reach out for help. Some of us pray. Another reality of being okay is some people confuse it with not being good enough. This is a critical, reality defeating point of view, and it can be harmful to people. The reality of being okay is a good thing. Be grateful. One day at a time we are learning being okay is part of being happy, joyous and free. No one lives in Utopia.
If silence stopped you wouldn’t hear the songs that songbirds sing
You wouldn’t hear the whooshing wind or any other thing
You wouldn’t hear the joy of love or hear the children dance
You wouldn’t hear the buzzing bee or a raindrop’s second chance
If silence stopped you wouldn’t hear the church bells as they chime
You wouldn’t hear the trumpets sound or poets when they rhyme
You wouldn’t hear the whistle blow to start the morning’s work
You wouldn’t hear the grass be cut or hear the coffee perk
If silence stopped you wouldn’t hear the waves crash on the beach
You wouldn’t hear that every day puts love within our reach
You wouldn’t hear the doe and fawn or the beauty that they give
You wouldn’t hear the gift of joy in this world that we live
If silence stopped you wouldn’t hear that peace is meant for you
You wouldn’t hear that people care or that the sky is blue
You wouldn’t hear when troubles come that they can go away
You wouldn’t hear that Heaven’s real and we don’t have to pay
If silence stopped you wouldn’t hear that people live and die
You wouldn’t hear that people laugh and sometimes people cry
You wouldn’t hear that love is real but sometimes people fall
You wouldn’t hear that we have hope and hope comes for us all
If silence stopped you wouldn’t hear the songs that songbirds sing
You wouldn’t hear the whooshing wind or any other thing
You wouldn’t hear the joy of love or hear the children dance
You wouldn’t hear the buzzing bee or a raindrops second chance
If silence stopped you wouldn’t hear that peace is meant for you
You wouldn’t hear that people care or that the sky is blue
You wouldn’t hear when troubles come that they can go away
You wouldn’t hear that Heaven’s real and we don’t have to pay
If silence stopped if silence stopped you simply wouldn’t hear
If silence stopped if silence stopped you simply wouldn’t hear
You wouldn’t hear that love is real but sometimes tears will fall
You wouldn’t hear that we have hope and hope comes for us all
Many people who live in one day at a time recovery know that recovery is a marathon. We know that we do not sprint from day to day to day to day. The days go by fast enough even when we are pacing them. Sprinting causes us to burn out. We need strength for when we need to go uphill, and we need strength for when we need to go downhill. Both can be difficult. When we learn this, we learn that recovery is not a race. We are simply travelling a distance of recovery that we hope will be the length of a marathon. We might even walk a while, and as we meet others we enjoy it. This is the joy of the marathon. As we walk we will see sprinters running by. As we continue we will meet sprinters who have gone lame. We will help them and they too shall walk with us. These sprinters were lucky enough to have the opportunity to continue the marathon. Some sprinters simply faded away much too fast. So day to day we travel the marathon. Most of us walk enjoying our recovery. It’s not a race. Enjoy it!
Those of us who live in one day at a time recovery learn about our sins and character defects. In the beginning of self examination we were victims of others. We believed we were the results of others’ harm and neglect. We couldn’t see ourselves as flawed beings in both nature and action. The reality we needed to face was we are people with an illness. We also learned that our sins and our character defects were parts of our nature and our coping skills. More often than not mental illness and intoxication distorted our character and mutated our nature to a point that we ourselves were out of control. We lost touch with a healthy, coherent, and sensible reality. We needed help. Many of us needed medicine to realize we were ill. We became responsible for our recovery. We became responsible for ourselves and we were no longer victims. When we saw this we became aware that we are decent people worthy of love and belonging. We know we have our flaws. Today we have a healthy, coherent, and sensible reality. One day at a time.
Those of us who live in one day at a time recovery have an understanding of each other. We understand the underlying need to feel safe in a world that we could not comprehend. We understand that we had lost contact with our families and our friends, because of our disorders, and we grew easily frustrated as we could no longer function at the same level as our peers. Also we understand the loneliness of falling deeper and deeper in the despair of our addictions, feeling lost and unwanted. Isolation became our prison and we lost touch with reality. We bottomed out. And we bottomed out. And we bottomed out. If we were lucky we found the gift of desperation. We reached out. We found help in hospitals and rehab centers. Many of us discovered we needed medication to be healthy. Some of us joined support groups. Also many of us began to learn to take life one day at a time. We began to meet people who understood the aloneness, and who furthermore had discovered the gift of desperation. Another gift was even though our families and friends could not understand our fall, or our new found recovery, they were grateful. When others realized the change in us, they wanted to know how they could help their loved ones who were bottoming out. Many of us became advocates and tried to reach out to those living with mental health disorders and addiction. We do so because we know the pain of feeling alone. Also we know recovery’s joy. We know we don’t have all the answers. Those of us who have, or had professional help, know the benefits it has. Also many of us recommend peer support. There is no perfect recovery but it gets better. We understand.
Those of us who live in one day at a time recovery eventually experience the reality of grace. We lived troubled lives and didn’t understand the ramifications such lives had on other people. We often made attempts to amend our wrongs and many of us did so in an effort to clear up the wreckage of our past. More often than not making amends were done so we could live our lives as free people. We wanted to be joyous and happy with nothing holding us back from such desired endeavors. For some of us there were instances where we could not make amends, and other times our attempts at amends failed. Our reality believed we had done our part but deep down we realized that we had caused harm to our fellow human beings. We began to understand that we weren’t just crossing completed amends off our lists. We were trying to repair the harms we had done to other people. Our selfish and self-centered selves cannot excuse these harms. All we can do is to try to not do such thing again. This is when we get to understand the reality of grace. When we understand the reality of grace we realize that we are not living our lives in recovery just for ourselves. We are attempting to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. Thus we realize the importance of giving ourselves a break. In other words we are giving grace onto ourselves. Now that we are processing our lives with a clear view we realize we are not perfect and we never will be. What we realize is grace is important. One day at a time we stay clean and sober. It’s our reality. It’s the gift of grace.
The noise it laughs in unison, a melancholic sit,
A poet sighs the years fly by, the clock ticks tick tick tick
He gazes through the window screen, the sky a simple grey,
His pain is heavy, without words, such like the sad song says
A gentle brush, his shaven head, a slight slight breeze unseen,
It’s mostly still at windowsill, his paper blank and clean,
For the troubles of a brown bag buzz, insanity in price,
A dollar-five for cheap cheap wine, each drink is tasted twice
But now the days are days of love, the noise still lives a bit,
The poet sighs and sometimes cries, the clock ticks tick tick tick,
With decaf by the windowsill, the poet sits alone,
To see a view so made of glass and wood and paint and stone
While memories of madness mock the minds of boys and men,
With moments touching paradise, the memories of when,
That cannabis could catch the sky, like comets crashing clear,
A time a time of long ago, quite lost but still quite near
Thirty years or more have slept the silver birds have flown,
The clock it simply ticks tick tick, in glass and wood and stone,
And silence is a butterfly, and love a soft embrace,
And joy is but a simple smile that you don’t have to chase
A speckled road from drops of wet, a view that you can hold,
A Summer’s sweet surrendering that simply won’t be sold,
With decaf by the windowsill, a poet sits alone,
To see a view so made of glass and wood and paint and stone
So now the days are days of love, the noise still lives a bit,
The poet sighs and sometimes cries, the clock ticks tick tick tick
With decaf by the windowsill, the poet sits alone,
To see a view so made of glass and wood and paint and stone
Those of us who live in one day at a time recovery learn the reality of togetherness. We eventually learn the importance of together instead of living life as a lone participant of introversion. Please understand that we are not saying that people who are introverts cannot recover. We are saying we need the experience, concern, and strength of other people to help us face life on life’s turns. The reality of those of us who know the importance of togetherness quite often are people who are introverts. Just because people enjoy their own company doesn’t mean they don’t want to help others. And it doesn’t mean they don’t want help from others. What it does mean is all of us living in one day at a time recovery know the pain of the empty aloneness that our disorder gave to us. And we know the benefits and the peace our togetherness can give to us. Many of us found the need for togetherness when we were at low points in our lives crying out, or perhaps uttering, “God help me.” Very often we find our aloneness is a symptom of our disorder. When we learn this we learn to heal. One day at a time we recover. We have learned the reality of togetherness.