Those of us who live in one day at a time recovery know that gratitude is an invitation to belonging. And when we know this, we know belonging is the gift of being loved. And in so, this gift of belonging reveals to us that we are grateful to be alive. We have learned to love ourselves and our commitment to being, and staying healthy, one day at a time. We find ourselves on an imperfect journey of acceptance and wellness. Sometimes we grow in leaps and bounds. Sometimes we stumble, stutter, and fall. Nonetheless we stand again, belonging in the mystery of our journey, hoping our eyes will be open to the joys we shall find and the lessons we can learn. Grace will no longer be a mystery and we shall gratefully acknowledge being aware we are as valuable to life as the gift of the rising sun. We can smile, or we can weep, because we now know no matter what, we belong.
Those of us who live in one day at a time recovery know the reality of anger. Letting anger turn into a resentment is not something many of us can afford to do. It really messes with our peace of mind. Sometimes our anger turns inward towards ourselves. A festering resentment can lead to thoughts of wanting to get even with the people that have hurt us. We might even have thoughts of hurting ourselves in some unhealthy way. We recognize the desperation in our thinking. As we see this we own our emotions and we own our thinking. We wonder if these thoughts are the narcissistic thoughts of a sensitive ego. We ask ourselves – how much will this matter in five years? If the answer is it won’t, we let it go. This is our reality. One day at a time..
I am hoping there are some people living in one day at a time recovery who know everyday brings hope. We don’t have to feel, experience, or know we have hope. It’s not a matter of faith, trust, good deeds, or anything that we have done that merits us this reality. There is hope everyday because of pain, sickness, death, and tragedy. It is because chains, terror, cruelty, and ill will supersede any act of decency or kindness. It is because want gets twisted into greed, addiction, and to the very least obsessive want. It’s because life gets so selfish we don’t even care enough to share the air that we breathe or the water that we drink. It’s because we wage war with our neighbors because we want what they have or they are a threat to our sanctimonious belief of ourselves, our God, and our society because that’s just the way it is. Everyday we awaken we know this pain, this wrong, and this truth. We shed the tears, we heave the sighs, we sob the sobs, and we know the dark deep days of depression. But still we sing, we smile, we work, we laugh, and we can be exceedingly grateful. People marry or form unions of togetherness. Kindness and charity is a part of our lives. Children are born and they sing their funny rhymes. And even poets can smile. What else could we do but believe their is hope everyday. Hope is because it has to be. It’s a kin to love. There is no other reality.
Many people who live in one day at a time recovery learn three important lessons. The first thing we need to learn is we have to have an understanding of ourselves. We have to understand we are people who live with limitations and abilities. We also need to understand that we do not have to face life on our own. When we learn this lesson, we have the beginning of reality. The reality we experience in one day at a time recovery is our limitations give us the ability to be helped by others. Also the reality of our limitations, which with help we have overcome or are overcoming, give us the ability to help others. When we have this understanding of community we learn we have responsibility to others. Common ground becomes the foundations of understanding, reality, and responsibility. One day at a time we learn. We grow in the spirit of togetherness. We also understand the reality of personal responsibility. For some of us it took a long time to gain this awareness. Some of us learn quickly. It’s all reality. Other lessons will come. One Day at a time.
Those of us who live in one day at a time recovery understand new beginnings. New beginnings, for most of us, are the endings of severely unmanageable lives. Lives lacking any semblance of reality, or manageability, have slipped away from us. We have found love and belonging in a kinship of spiritual misfits. We found we are not alone and it’s a wonderful awakening. Families, friends, and other advocates have given us a voice. With this voice we don’t claim to be perfect. We know we are no better or no worse than any other people. We know the voice that we now have brings with it the responsibility of caring for ourselves, and each other, to best of our ability. When we are grateful for our new beginnings we understand a life of one day at a time recovery. We now know that change can happen and many of us do so one day at a time. We become healthy in the company of others, and we understand the meaning of grace. Even though our mannerism, beliefs, and abilities can be different than others, we are learning to adapt and function at levels we could have never done before. When this happens we understand that miracles still happen. Thank God for new beginnings. We are no longer alone.
Most people who live their lives one day at a time understand that there is no courage without being afraid. This is a stone-cold reality. Often people don’t think twice about courageous undertakings because they do such acts without showing any fear whatsoever. In most cases they are hiding their fear, or just doing what they do, because this is human nature in most people. The brave are many amongst us. Another reality is that we shouldn’t look down on people because they have fears that they cannot overcome. This can happen to anyone. It’s called the reality of I can’t. This is when others step in and do for us what we cannot do for ourselves. Very often it is not the fear of doing, or facing the fear of a task. It’s the fear of not having the ability of doing the task. When this happens we have the fear of being less than and in doing so having to live with feelings of disconnection and not belonging. We all want connection and belonging. Without belonging we can have feelings of shame. This is both an automated and conditioned response. When this is happening we must be supportive. This is reality. People face their fears every day. People, recovering people, and other people who live their lives one day at a time know the reality of this courage and also of its presence in every day life. We might not receive awards, medals, or other forms of recognition for our every day heroics. We need to be brave to face life on life’s terms. Today we know the meaning of courage and we live it one day at a time. It’s reality.
Those of us who try and live life one day at a time know the reality of being human. We know the reality of imperfection, acceptance, and decency. We know the reality of melancholic days and we know the reality of good days. Knowing the reality of being human, many of us gather, or befriend those like ourselves, in order that we can form connection with those who we can relate to with similar goals, beliefs, and ambitions. Many of us living with mental health disorders probably choose to live clean and sober lives because of our conditions. We are accepting our imperfections, and we believe that it is better for everyone that we do so. We can live with our melancholic days and experience more good days by doing so. This is our reality. In fact, we are decent people. Other people who know the reality of being human will vouch for us. We are not preachers nor do we want to stop others from having good times. We are simply making healthy choices for ourselves. If you need our help, and if you really want it, we will try and give it to you. And like ourselves, many other people know the reality of one day at a time living. Most of us, that means every person who knows the reality of being human, are decent people. We all know melancholic and good days. We are all in this together. See the love and good and we. It’s there. Peace.
Those of us who live in one day at a time recovery know the reality of serenity. We know serenity because we have no other choice but to. Touching moments of this experience of being has a calming effect on not only our minds, but also our bodies. These moments become spiritual experiences of peace. We need these moments to help give us clarity when we have to face struggles. The experience of serenity gives us the courage and the wisdom to realize and understand that adversity will pass. We learn this because serenity helps us to understand that we are loved and that we have love to give. For ourselves, and for others. We also experience the love for creation. In addition to this we can become grateful for the gift of acceptance. We might not know that the moments in which we have experienced serenity we are being given the gifts of humility and awareness. Other people will recognize the peace we are experiencing before us. Most of us are simply surrendering to a healthier life. We learn this one day at a time. We have no other choice. This is the reality of serenity.
Those of us living in one day at a time recovery know the importance of giving ourselves a break. Some of us have a tendency of being particularly hard on ourselves when we don’t measure up to how we think we should. The real reason we need to learn to give ourselves a break is so we can love ourselves enough to enable ourselves to give others a break. This also teaches us how to let go of trying to control everyone and everything. This helps to diminish the narcissistic needs of our egos. This is an exercise in humility. Nobody needs to be perfect to be worthy of love. We are all worthy of love especially those of us who live with flaws and shortcomings. People who need to be perfect are people who live in self-imposed prisons. Many of us know this from experience. And the names of these prisons are self-centered fear and unrealistic expectations. Grace is the key to unlock the door. Not only do we give grace to ourselves, we also give it to others. This is the reality of courage. It lives in all of us. It’s part of the journey.
Those of us who live in one day at a time recovery realize the importance of returning to work when we had to miss time because of our disorders. In reality the stigma still surrounds those of us who live with mental illness. If addiction was present, the stigma could be worse. This is a reality of life. We need courage, but when complicated with anxiety, it is a heroic effort just to walk in the door and try to resume some form of normal for ourselves. Thus the need for education. Some of our co-workers do have an understanding of our situation. Some of them will be supportive. This too is a reality. We need not discourage this support. Nonetheless if we don’t feel the need for their support we don’t have to rely on it. This can be welcomed if we had, and still have a good relationship with these people. Another reality is some people have had bad experiences with people who live with our disorders. We need to keep our conversations appropriate with our work environment. This will help us get back into the swing of things. One day at a time we can be ok. It can be worth it. Your efforts are amazing. That’s why I call you heroes.